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Last week on RHOC, we took the long way around to Costa Rica and sat in on the beginnings of a “phoniness intervention” staged by Tamra and Heather for Alexis. It wasn’t going well.
We come back to Tamra screaming at Alexis that they like her for HER! Not for her ring! Aw, that’s so sweet it makes Alexis cry.
She tells Tamra she’s the most mean hateful person in the world and to us says it’s a joke that just because Tamra got her fake boobs taken out she now thinks she’s real. Mommy Heather calls the intervention to order and gives a speech about having friends from all walks of life and all she cares about is authenticity. I’m picturing Heather inviting all her poor friends from Irvine to a pool party on Billionaire’s Row because they keep it real. Then she does bag checks before letting them onto the bus back to Poorville. Gretchen jumps in to suggest that the next time Alexis pisses anyone off with her phoniness, they call her on it then and there. Will that go for everyone? If so, we’ll never hear a complete sentence on this show again. But that settles that! Heather and Tamra stand up and come around the table to give Alexis a big hug. Now that she’s in tears they are full of love. All they ask is that she shuts up and takes it – is that so wrong? Alexis won’t hug them, says she wants to be alone and leaves. So ungrateful.
Gretchen now cries because she hates being put in a position where she has to tell her friend what a horrible monster she is. She’d rather sit quietly watching while other people tell her. Heather instructs Gretchen to go to Alexis and comfort her, but Alexis refuses to let Gretchen into her room because she’s not done with alone time yet. Gretchen begs Alexis to have mercy on her because this is really hard for her, but Alexis doesn’t care. Back at the table Heather comforts Gretchen by assuring her that attacking Alexis was all for Alexis’s own good and that Gretchen is only being a true friend. If you can’t mold people into the ideal you have in mind for them, what is the point of even having friends?
Vicki announces that she REALLY likes Alexis so she’ll go talk to her. Alexis still hasn’t finished alone time, but Vicki shoves her way into the room anyway and tells Alexis she understands because of that time last year in San Francisco where everyone ganged up on her. Remember that? It was awful for Vicki. Awful. And Alexis was the ringleader, remember Alexis? Vicki is sad because she doesn’t have a perfect body or perfect skin and she just tries to be a good person, and still everyone screamed at her that one day a long time ago. And now Alexis owes Vicki big time for coming to comfort her like this.
The next morning Alexis packs her things since she’s going home early to be a stay-home mom, and after sitting up all night thinking about it, she still can’t come up with any reason as to why the women would think she’s phony. Not one. Actually, she only spent about 20 seconds thinking about that, then the rest of the night she thought about bubbles and sparkles. Either way, she’s perplexed. Heather drops by to reiterate that she’s still getting to know Alexis and she hopes that the non-phony part of her personality is the real one, and everyone has stuff to work on. Or something. Alexis doesn’t get it, but says she appreciates it.