RHOC Recap: White Elephant Intervention


11 hours later, the whole gang piles out of Costa Rican cars at their Costa Rican resort.  The last leg of their trip was a three hour car ride to the resort from the airport, which Vicki quickly learns was unnecessary because there is an airport 15 minutes away.  Vicki is furious and apparently she is the one responsible for making these arrangements.  Everyone takes their bags to their rooms then reconvenes at the pool for cocktails and appetizers.  Everyone, that is, except for Vicki, who Tamra concludes is probably on the phone with Brooks, which is ironic because she used to make fun of everyone else for talking on the phone to their husbands (or Slade).  When Gretchen and Alexis get up in arms about it, Heather suggests that perhaps Vicki was envious of what they had.  When Vicki emerges, she gulps down a cocktail and instructs everyone on what to wear ziplining the next day, including no diamonds.  Alexis announces that she’ll be fine because she’s just wearing her huge cubic zirconia, so no one will want to rob her.  Heather tells her robbers won’t realize it’s fake before they rob her, so she’s not any safer.  I guess Alexis thinks that if her REAL ring is safe, that’s all that matters.  She can always call back her private nurse to put frozen peas on her battered face after being mugged.  Then Alexis announces that she’ll be going home after only two days because she has three babies at home.  Vicki points at Heather and says she has four babies.  

Alexis:  Well I don’t have a nanny.
Heather:  I don’t have one either.
Alexis:  Well my husband needs to work.  He can’t be at home like I am.
Heather (to us):  I have four kids and one is a baby.  If Terry can handle this, Jim can certainly handle it.  

It’s true.  After all, Terry is a plastic surgeon and Jim is just a hustler.  Vicki starts woo-hooing and screaming that her love tank is full.  Then she remembers about Briana’s elopement and fake cries.  Heather tells her to let it go already.  THANK YOU.  It looks like Drunk Vicki is out to play.

“PENIS!”

At breakfast the next morning, Alexis keeps telling the chefs very slowly that she would like egg whites.  When they ask if she wants them scrambled, she says, “Egg WHITES.  No YELL-OW.”  They speak English, Alexis.  Do you?  Everyone is dressed really funny.  Vicki, Gretchen and Tamra are all in camouflage like they’re about to join some Central American guerrilla army, and Alexis is dressed, as Tamra points out, like a zookeeper.  Heather is the only one who looks normal in workout clothes.  Presentation is everything.  A monkey appears on a nearby rooftop, but before Heather can snap a picture on her iPhone, it leaps into some trees. Vicki screeches, “Did he die?!” While Alexis frantically says, “He just fell!  He just fell!”  This is going to be a long trip.  

In the car ride on the way to ziplining, the girls pass around a canteen of booze and scream bloody murder when they see an ox wandering around the side of the road. 

“Pack animals are silly.”

Heather is about to come undone.  She tells us these women are nothing like her other friends, who I’m sure would be calmly riding in a helicopter on their way to a diamond mine or something, instead of this nonsense.  To nail the point home, Vicki wants to play the alphabet game, so she starts with, “I’m going on a picnic and I’m going to bring my anus.”  Then wants Tamra to repeat it with something dirty that starts with B.  Tamra says she’s bringing her vagina.  Oh my gosh, I’m siding more and more with Heather and I never used to think that would happen.  

Preparing to zipline, Alexis shrieks and giggles while one of the guides (either Diego, Jorge or Jose) helps her into her harness then offers to braid her hair for her.  This is why Jim is resistant to letting her out of the house.  Men can’t resist touching her extensions.  While the guys explain how the ziplining adventure will work, Gretchen and Heather are kind of nervous, but Alexis acts like an old pro because apparently she’s done this before.  Vicki woo-hoos through her turn, but when veteran Alexis is up, she starts worrying that branches are going to hit her new nose, ruining her surgery and blocking up her airways again and she’s not so sure she wants to do this.  She then proceeds to scream and hesitate from the jump-off for about a half hour while everyone stands around begging her to go. 

“My mucus plugs hurt!”

Late one afternoon in 2005, Honey Gangsta received an invite to join a two person blog set up by her former roommate who had recently ditched LA (California knows how to party) for the bright lights of NYC (these streets will make you feel brand new, the lights will inspire you). The purpose of the blog was to continue their nightly ritual of ripping on reality TV, which could no longer be done in person. Since Honey Gangsta was still watching 18 hours of TV a day and had nothing else to do, she agreed. 10,000 hits later, HG was inspired to submit a Bachelor recap to TVgasm - no one was reporting on Officer Mayo and his time traveling DeLorean - and the rest is history. It's been said that she writes what you're thinking. It's been said she is a genius - a Blogger Laureate of her time. It's also been said that the earth is flat and no one landed on the moon, so you just never know. With her keen observations, and colorful commentary, Honey Gangsta is beloved the world over.

53 Comments

  1. 1
    SueBabe
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 2:40 am

    “Sweetheart, my name is Jorge, not God”!!! Someone get Jorge his own show, or special, or something!! When he said that to Alexis, I nearly DIED!!!

  2. 2
    moonshine
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 3:25 am

    Agree, SueB, that was hysterical. I’m certain Alexass didn’t catch it because ‘them furreners’ could barely understand ‘egg w h i t e s’ even when told several times!

  3. 3
    moonshine
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 3:27 am

    oh and Honey, i loved the pic of Gretchen’s array of ‘hiking shoes’ . har de har.

  4. 4
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 5:40 am

    I thought it was so funny when Alexis said she doesn’t have a nanny and has 3 kids, and Heather shot right back at her and one up’d her with 4 kids. Maybe Orange County has outlawed nannys orrrrrrrrrrrr Alexis doesn’t want a woman in her house without her being their b/c Jim may get frisky with her.

    Now I will dress up for a flight if I know right when I land I have to be somewhere. But if I am going on a relaxing vacation, comfy shirt and pants it is. I guess they were trying to follow the “talls” from housewives of Atlanta.

    Vicki was a little out of control on the trip and Heather’s comments and facial expressions were priceless. Heather does seem much more subdued than these woman. I wonder is she going to stay on with them because she doesn’t really seem to fit in.

  5. 5
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 5:45 am

    Alexis’s nipples came out to play when she was getting her hair braided!!!
    Vicki Tomato was a little more than drunk.

    I told you that the only reason Alexis wanted to discuss anything is so she can browbeat the others into backing down. Can’t stand that loser.

    Get her Tamra!

  6. 6
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 6:33 am

    Lawd a’ mercy. You think Vickie can’t get any crazier. Then add tropical drinks and a death-defying monkey, and …

  7. 7
    featherhead
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 7:26 am

    Vicki’s behavior was bizarre!! She acted like she was totally on something. Wanting Tamra to sing Ring around the Rosie?? Wanting to play the picinic game AGAIN?? It was like she couldn’t stand the silence and was acting Manic!! Crazy.

    Jorge was hot!! Alexis was totally flirting with him, did you see her give him a playful swat when he was doing her harness?

    Run Donn, Run!! Move out of state if you have to, Witness Protection even!! I have a feeling someone is going to be stalking him soon…….

  8. 8
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 7:32 am

    Donn should watch out, especially once Brooks realizes that Vicki’s car and Vicki’s house and Vicki’s money and air time via Vicki are not worth having to fuck Vicki–even semi-annually.

  9. 9
    caligal
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 7:47 am

    I swear to Baby Jeebus, if Alexis doesn’t stop whining about being nanny-less, I’m going to drive to Orange County and punch her in her new nose.

  10. 10
    samy
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 8:06 am

    I live in OC and I’ve seen Alexis in Vons. With the brats. She’s very strange looking in person. Very PHONY, plastic, etc. She needs to leave the show and go back to school. Take a geography class and then an English pronunciation class. She gives all of us women in OC a very bad name! And they are renting that house in Dana Point along with all the furniture. They have nothing financially. They basically stalked people to be on this show. The only reason Jim isn’t on camera so much anymore is that he knows everyone knows what he is all about. He really needs to go into hiding, him and that chin.

  11. 11
    NatPatBen NatPatBen
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 8:07 am

    Alexis is comedy GOLD!! The “white elephant” in the room! I can’t stop laughing at that one.

  12. 12
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 8:13 am

    @Caligal: Tell me about it. They overplay everything on RHOC to an excruciating level. Every housewife has a “thing” and that thing has to be driven home in every scene. Same thing with Heather being an “actress”, her husband being a plastic surgeon, Vicki always working, Tamera’s deboobification, etc., ad nauseum.

  13. 13
    featherhead
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 8:21 am

    I laughed and laughed at Alexis wanting assurance that no branches or BIRDS were going to hit her in her new snoze while ziplining , like Jorge had control over that. Although he is God….

    Hypocrite is the new Unattended….

  14. 14
    caligal
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 8:23 am

    @NWMTV….it’s like Alexis thinks she lives in Beverly Hills, is married to Frasier, and needs four nannies!
    She better not start whining about how haaaaaaaarrrdddd her life is trying to be Katie Cure-ick, Donna Karen, and Mother Juggs all rolled into one!

  15. 15
    labowner
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 9:14 am

    And Terry can make his own schedule. Does Heather want us to believe he was actually working when she was gone? If he was working there was someone taking care of the kids Heather. Can’t have it both ways.

  16. 16
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 9:23 am

    Oh Honey G how I love thee:

    ‘Heather is about to come undone. She tells us these women are nothing like her other friends, who I’m sure would be calmly riding in a helicopter on their way to a diamond mine or something, instead of this nonsense.

    That alone made my Friday, back to reading.

  17. 17
    Jane and Blanche Jane and Blanche
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 9:30 am

    “and Craigslist isn’t the car business” Awesome!! Love it!
    How sad is it when Heather Eyebrow comes off as the normal one?

    Glad you had a good vacay and glad to have you back!

  18. 18
    labowner
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 9:37 am

    By they way Heather, who is taking care of your kids when you are out returning your food at another horrible orange county establishment?

  19. 19
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 9:41 am

    I hate to defend Alexis on anything, but….

    I get where Alexis is coming from re: Gretchen; she defended Gretchen to Tamra and Vicki, which is part of the reason why Tamra doesn’t like her now and they only associate because of their contractual obligations. Now that Gretchen and Tamra are friends, Alexis got passed over like a prison bitch. Alexis’ feelings were hurt that Gretchen used her for the past two seasons because none of the other women would deal with her because of Slade, her dimwitted personality, and the fact that she sucks the air out of the room. I wish that Alexis would have admitted that the real issue is that she’s hurt that Gretchen used her and she thought they were real friends. Instead of some bullshit phoniness intervention, Alexis and Gretchen need to discuss what’s the deal with their friendship because Gretchen’s loyalty should rightfully be called into question.

  20. 20
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 9:45 am

    @Caligal…..do it and have some one tape it for the interwebz…PLEASE!

  21. 21
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 9:53 am

    @ labowner all I hear is Mother Love Bone….”I used to treat you like a lady. Now you’re the susbstitute teacher…”

    Way to be the contratian!

  22. 22
    Mimo
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 10:01 am

    You know, if Alexis lived next door to me, I probably wouldn’t be her best friend. Not sure if I would even like her at all. But who the fuck do Tamra and Heather think they are, doing an intervention on what is a personality flaw? If you don’t like the fact that she’s materialistic, then stop being her “friend” and taking that Bravo paycheck. By the way, did you know that Heather’s husband is a plastic surgeon and she’s worth a lot of money? How gracious of her to change her name to his.

    I understand Alexis and trying to “improve” the perception of what she does. i.e. being an anchor. That’s in part why I’m called an Administrative Assistant instead of a secretary.

    Remember the days when Tamra and Simon were basically telling Jim and Alexis that they were clones? I think Tamra’s pissed off that she was only playing a part, and for Alexis it’s real.

    I think Derek Hazelton is right. The Alexis hatred started when Alexis didn’t grab Tamra’s back during the whole evil eye incident. Now that Tamra and Gretchen are friends, Tamra, mean girl that she is, has to hate someone. Lucky Alexis.

  23. 23
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 11:03 am

    Well Labowner I am sure they have baby sitters in Orange County. Alexis just doesn’t seem to know about them.

    And Jim and Lexi have to know someone to take care of the kids because remember for awhile they didn’t take vacations without each other.

    Now I went to Costa Rica in March and unless it was somewhere else when these ladies went there was so need for them to travel for 13 hours. It was a four hour flight from Atlanta. Vicki just doesn’t want to miss anything, but she could have just schedule it so that the girls landed in Costa Rica at the same time she did. I would have been PISSED!!!

  24. 24
    rebecca pressley
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 11:06 am

    Vicki was strung out on crack, not just alchohol. Did anyone notice when the zipline instructors were giving instructions, that Vicki had to interrupt and tell the ladies how to do it?? she is sooo freakin bossy!!

  25. 25
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 12:14 pm

    Alright, before we launch into another round of “Vicki was on crack,” “No way, it was meth!” “Nuh uh, she was totally riding the Horse”… if you want to speculate, tell us where your degree in Pharmacology is from. Or which major metropolitan vice dept you work for.

    “My sister-in-law was a crackhead and lost her house and her kids SO I KNOW WHAT A CRACK HIGH LOOKS LIKE”, which is what we usually get, isn’t good enough. And frankly, I’m not sure it matters exactly what makes her act like that, anyway. She’s nuttier than Pecan cluster, and that’s the only message Bravo wants to deliver.

  26. 26
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    @NWMTV, well, we can at least see that Vicki’s too energetic to be a pothead.

    @Mimo, thanks for the agreeing with me! :-) I am just tired of Alexis taking the brunt of the abuse over the past two seasons, when Gretchen is at fault for using her friendship and turning her back on Alexis the moment Tamra agreed to be her friend again. I just wish Alexis were intelligent enough to direct her frustration at Gretchen, disregard Heather and Tamra, and hopefully repair their relationship. There’s a lot to make fun of Alexis about, but this intervention on Tuesday was somewhat abusive.

  27. 27
    trkaelin
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    Not sure you need a degree to determine that ole Vick was on something. Perhaps she was just high on life. I guess that’s what a little gas in the love tank will do to you.

  28. 28
    caligal
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 2:00 pm

    @Gypsy, I would, but I don’t want to end up “going away” like a Guiduce! :)

  29. 29
    caligal
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    Damn it, now I’m starting to spell like a Guidice!
    And I’m sorry, but who the hell flies to CR from LAX via Miami?? Obviously, someone either doesn’t have a map, or can’t read a map!

  30. 30
    aliens.rock
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    I hate the idea of intervention, especially when it involves someone’s character flaw, and it is executed by a group of people being filmed and then broadcasted on national TV. Of course, they all did it to stir up more drama.
    Alexis might be shallow, phony, etc., but they don’t have to be her friends. Why don’t they just laugh behind her back, like they have so far?
    All of you people cheering for Tamra team : imagine yourself in this situation….
    As someone pointed out already, they all are very similar anyway. Speaking of kettles and pots…
    I am just a regular person, and I couldn’t interact with any of them. Probably they would call me phony, too…

  31. 31
    annie Annie
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 8:31 pm

    @caligal….well, Alexis DID think Costa Rica was in Mexico, maybe she had something to do with the horrible travel plans? lol. My cousin is going to Costa Rica in July. She’s flying Albuquerque> Dallas> Costa Rica. BAM! When I told her about the Housewives itinerary she almost fell off her chair

    I think Vicki must have gotten some really, really hot and steamy “Phone Affirmations” from Brooks when she got to Costa Rica because she was giddy as a schoolgirl. Probably something along the lines of: “Honey, you are my love.gov” or “Don puts the “ex” in our “Sex” probably gets her going. Bleh!!!

    As much as I can’t stand Alexis, I did feel pretty bad for her during the “Phony Intervention”, I mean sure she’s annoying as hell but did she really deserve that, in that setting? I did like her little jab at Tamra for bringing a Louie bag to the jungle. I mean…really.

  32. 32
    Mrngstar
    Posted June 2, 2012 at 11:48 am

    I liked that Tamra could face Terry & Heather and own up to fact that she threw him under the bus. At least Tamra can do that, whereas Alexis is too stupid to realize how fake she is….all the way down to her zookeeper outfit! Lol! That comment was hilarious!

  33. 33
    featherhead
    Posted June 2, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    @mrngstar – of course Alexis was wearing a zookeeper outfit – what else do you wear when there’s a White Elephant in the room?

  34. 34
    billyjeansss
    Posted June 2, 2012 at 7:08 pm

    I loved how Alexis tried to defend the fact that her family has so many expensive cars by saying Jim got a good deal on all of them and that he could sell them and make all of his money back, if not more because he is in the “car business.” This comment is especially funny because in the episode where the girls went glamping, Alexis and was telling Heather about all of her cars and Heather specifically asked Alexis if Jim was in the car business which Alexis replied “no, he just loves them”

    I think I need help for knowing this, but I thought I would point it out.

  35. 35
    rebecca pressley
    Posted June 2, 2012 at 8:59 pm

    My nursing degree is from UNC Charlotte

  36. 36
    HotDogBitesMan HotDogBitesMan
    Posted June 2, 2012 at 9:27 pm

    Welcome back, Honey! I’m going to keep this short because our time is dire, but the unintentionally hilarious things Alexis says crack me up and I could watch more of her just for those. This week it was the white elephant in the room, and I think it was during the glamping episode she made me LOL when she interviewed that Vicki (I think?) put a “big foot forward” by apologizing (for something unimportant).

  37. 37
    MrsMiaWallace
    Posted June 2, 2012 at 11:36 pm

    I really can’t tell whether I love or hate Heather! So much to hate! But then she does really un-RHOC things like not be mad at Tamra for throwing Terry under the bus! Or suggesting when Vicki criticized others on “boy time” she was just jealous and was now in the same happy bracket as they were (a theme Vicki espoused when saying Tamra hadn’t seen her happy before), etc. Instead of piling on she is really good at staying rational, calm and soothing, wtf??!

    The “intervention” was dumb and had no purpose. If anything, someone could have taken her aside off camera and said how she was coming off and that would be the end of it-whether she listened or not. I felt like she was really in a bad spot the whole trip-She sits in a group of girls who all hate or are suspected of gossiping over her and feels awkward and they all snark and snipe on her behavior without ever giving her a single friendly overture. Shame on them all. And I HATE ALEXIS! That is how badly they behaved! I am defending the dumbest broad ever!

    @Mrngstar- I also respected Tamra for coming clean on the Terri comment-that was dumb and she knew it, glad she handled it well. Too bad she can’t quite drop the mean-girl schtick, she is by far the most self-aware and normal until her insecurities transform her into a mythological creature of epic shrill harridan proportions.

  38. 38
    Tmurda
    Posted June 3, 2012 at 3:23 am

    I don’t feel bad for Alexis at all. And I think they were joking about having an actual “intervention”. I think they (mainly tamra) are just determined to contiuously put lex on the spot about all her bullshit till she has no other choice but to admit she is actually a total broke, retarded loser. She is a walking contradiction.
    Acting like she is the zipline expert, then acting like a complete dramatic pussy when her time came to go, was just a small example of her normal nonsense. I died laughing during that scene cause my BF was half-watching it with me, and almost simultaneously yelled “someone just fucking push her!” when Heather said “should I push her?” to Gretchen. Love them both. :)
    Lastly, I cannot stand or hang out with females who constantly screech and talk over each other. That high-pitched “WHOOOO!” chicks do anytime they are even semi-excited over something makes me cringe. Did the monkey die, Vicki? Really? Yes, Vicki…he died. *eyeroll* It’s just like that one friend we ALL have who, when in a social setting, laughs along with the group when someone makes a joke, but adds in a fake snort, thinking it’s cute/endearing. It’s fake as hell, annoying as fuck, and a desperate attempt to get attention. And there’s ALWAYS some twat there to entertain this shit by going “Omigod! Did you just SNORT!!?”…making the snorting bitch giggle harder, pretending she’s embarrassed. That shit irritates me to no end. Vicki is THAT girl!

  39. 39
    fancyface
    Posted June 3, 2012 at 8:22 am

    I completely agree Tmurda! I don’t feel sorry for dumb barbie in the least & didn’t have a problem with the ‘intervention’. I think Heather genuinely wanted to try to reach Lex who she assumes is unaware of how she comes across and wanted to hold a mirror up to her. I really don’t think she had any ill intent. I don’t think Gretchen did either. She entered the conversation (that she’s obviously had with her delusional ass in private before) as gently as possible to try to make her understand the point they were trying to make and instead of actually taking in what they were saying she was immediately defensive and dismissive. I’m not blaming her for the way she reacted to it because who knows what we’d do in that situation, but Alexis CLEARLY thinks she’s perfect & won’t listen to naysayers no matter how much they try to help. She truly cannot see anything wrong about her or her husband’s actions and that makes me sad for her. I still hate the dumb B but I feel sorry for her delusion!

    Ok..VICKI VICKI VICKI…I don’t agree with anyone blaming drugs for the way she was acting. No matter how cray cray she is, I can’t see Vic turning to substance abuse. Was she drunk? Duh. Do I think it was beyond alcohol? No, not at all (although I won’t rule out psych meds). I just think that Vicki had just had her world ROCKED by Brianna & she was on the verge of losing her damn mind because of it. I think what we saw was a woman who was seriously struggling with her emotions & trying to mask what she was feeling by appearing ‘fun & carefree’. That shit just didn’t work. Not only did her precious Bri defy her by seeking out her own happiness beyond her mother’s approval, she was also critical of her love tank filler upper and gave her a smack down about the asshole when she tried to judge her marriage. Brianna awesomely verbally slapped the shit out of Vicki about that crook & she couldn’t handle it. She was also being exposed as a hypocrite for her relationship with fake ass Mr. Valentine and she doesn’t like her decisions being questioned. THAT’S what I think we were watching with Vicki, not a cracked out woman, a confused, emotional, distraught human being trying to cope with the well deserved madness that is her life.

    BTW @NWMTV..I freaking hate arm chair drug diagnosis too! As someone who has seen drug addicts on EVERY level, I’m here to tell you, there’s not always a ‘sign’ or ‘character flaw’ that determines who may or may not be on drugs. We have legit bat-shit crazies in the world who doesn’t need a substance to act an ass and the crush of real life can unravel even the sanest person and drive them out of their minds. Drugs shouldn’t always be the 1st assumption these days.

  40. 40
    2muchbravo
    Posted June 3, 2012 at 8:45 am

    Well said, Funnyface, about Vicki. I’m sure Brianna struck a cord with the comments about Brooks’ intentions. Everyone wants to be loved but Vicki can’t deny all the things Brianna said are true. Vicki’s got all sorts of stuff going on in her head. I’m sure this added fuel to her fire and she doesn’t want to believe that it might be true. As much as I dislike her I don’t want to see that sleazebag take advantage of her. There are men out there who can fill her love tank with true good intentions!

  41. 41
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted June 4, 2012 at 5:43 am

    Well what else would I use my arm chair for if I wasn’t diagnosing people?

  42. 42
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted June 4, 2012 at 6:15 am

    During those frequent periods when our military is beating up on weaker, more dysfunctional countries, I use my Lazyboy for spirited armchair generaling.

  43. 43
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted June 4, 2012 at 8:24 am

    @Fancyface and @TMurda, why exactly does Alexis owe Tamra or Heather an explanation for her behavior? They don’t like each other and I don’t understand why she has to justify anything to them. You only hold up mirrors to people that you love or at the very least, care about! They don’t give a shit about her, as they’ve said as much in their own asides to the camera. The only purpose of the intervention was to abuse her and put her on the defensive. You can hate on Alexis for a lot, and I normally do. But she was not wrong in this case, IMHO.

  44. 44
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted June 4, 2012 at 9:16 am

    Agree with Derek: The intervention was just a device to get them all screaming at each other, a little insurance just in case the producers sending them all on a booze-soaked vacation together after a inexplicably long plane trip didn’t generate any shrieking.

    I’d bet this month’s caramel macchiato money that the intervention wasn’t even Tamra and/or Heather’s idea, nor did they have anything constructive in mind for Alexis when they agreed to go along with it.

  45. 45
    fancyface
    Posted June 4, 2012 at 9:49 am

    Umm…Derek? Where did I say that Alexis owes Tamara or Heather anything? I specifically said:

    “I think Heather genuinely wanted to try to reach Lex who she assumes is unaware of how she comes across and wanted to hold a mirror up to her. I really don’t think she had any ill intent. I don’t think Gretchen did either. She entered the conversation (that she’s obviously had with her delusional ass in private before) as gently as possible to try to make her understand the point they were trying to make and instead of actually taking in what they were saying she was immediately defensive and dismissive. I’m not blaming her for the way she reacted to it because who knows what we’d do in that situation, but Alexis CLEARLY thinks she’s perfect & won’t listen to naysayers no matter how much they try to help. She truly cannot see anything wrong about her or her husband’s actions and that makes me sad for her. I still hate the dumb B but I feel sorry for her delusion!”

    Never once did I mention Tamara because, like you, I know she had absolutely NO good intentions when she sat down at that table. She hates the dumb bitch and wanted to bring her down a peg. So again, I never said Lex owed her anything.

    My comment pointed towards the fact that I really believe that HEATHER didn’t have any ill intentions going into the dinner. You can tell by her private interviews that not only is she distrustful of Alexis, she is absolutely BAFFLED by some of her behavior & she thinks Alexis doesn’t know how she comes across to other people. You can tell, well I can tell, by not just her words but her facial expressions as well, that she is truly bewildered by the way Alexis carries herself. So that leads ME to believe that she genuinely wanted to know wtf is up with Alexis & try to get her to take it down a notch. And GRETCHEN led off her comment with, “like I was trying to tell you on the plane” which leads me to believe that she has had that conversation with the dumb ass in private before. THAT was the basis for my comment, not a feeling of Alexis ‘owing’ anyone anything.

    Now stop being fresh with me Derek (in my Miliana G voice :) )

  46. 46
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted June 4, 2012 at 10:06 am

    This thread got hectic since I last checked in.

    @caligal, no worries Mamma, I feel you: no evidence.

    @NWMTV-Vicki was blowing lines of cocaine. I am my source ;-)

  47. 47
    hlesczyn
    Posted June 4, 2012 at 11:03 am

    This recap was hilarious! I died laughing at all of their outfits. When Gretchen came out in that yellow cape thing I thought of a cross between Mrs. Roeper and the RHNYC girls when they were trying to be Moroccan. Heather (and I’m not saying she is better or worse) just does not belong with this cast.

  48. 48
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted June 4, 2012 at 11:15 am

    @fancyface, my apologies for not using the exact words, I read your comments and summarized based on my assumptions of what was said. I thought there was a certain line about it in your comment, but I read quickly and then posted my response. I’m not so sure of Heather’s intentions, but I will grant you that they are probably more sincere than Tamra’s.

  49. 49
    LAC LAC
    Posted June 4, 2012 at 11:18 am

    Now that I am able to read the recap without visions of Vicki’s shrieking about body parts and love tanks, and twitching and hair style, I can enjoy it. :)

    I am starting to like Heather – ONLY because her reactions are normal. I am glad to have someone react as a normal human being to having a coked up looney screaming in her ear every time an animal comes by. (BTW, that monkey probably jumped to his death rather than have Vicki screaming at it. Just my take. :) ) I like Terry and the cute chubby baby. Heather dresses normal and her reactions are normal.

    I felt sorry for Alexis – she is a idiot, through and through. But she is not really mean. I wish she could hire someone to teach her to argue. It beats hiring folks to spackle her face. Tamra is just a fucking mean bitch. She gets that ferret face going and it is always spitting venom. Ok, Alexis is a jesus barbie doll – so what? This show has never been about displaying deep thinkers or movers and shakers in industry (other than on a pole) . All that yammering about being “real” from broads with hair extensions, botox shots, and booby shirts – pullllease…

    Vicki – there are no words. Actually there are – like “intervention”, “facility”, elephant gun full of thorazine”. What the fuckedy fuck is wrong with her? First, bullshit trip planning. How hard is her head hitting that headboard that she has them arriving in the cover of darkness to this resort? Second, ya cry ugly, Vicki. Please stop! Third, the driving game is not not fun for everyone – well, not fun for those who would have to deal with your controlling, “brooks banged me hard” ass screeching about the rules. God, you almost made me wish all the men showed up and surprised you during that zipline trip.

  50. 50
    rebecca pressley
    Posted June 4, 2012 at 11:19 am

    I looked up Heathers IMDB page and she was on an episode of Married with Children.

  51. 51
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted June 4, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    oh LAC how I flove your post.

    “You cry ugly.” ROFL

  52. 52
    maryedith
    Posted June 6, 2012 at 7:55 pm

    I’m still reeling over the fact that NWMTV drinks caramel macchiatos. Even if it’s just ironically.

  53. 53
    notwithoutmytv
    Posted June 6, 2012 at 9:55 pm

    I’m an enigma. Even I can’t figure me out.

    Compared with Vicki, I’m now realizing that Kelly Bensimon put the class in crazy. She was incoherent, yes, but she sat there babbling nonsense, calmly eating her gummi bears. And when it was time to leave, she left (after banging her face into the door.) Vicki is just off-puttingly, ugly cry (ya beat me to it, LAC) crazy crazy.

    I remember the bad old days on TWOP, when those uppity bitches used to ban people for starting posts with “Ummm”. But now I see why they did it. Because the appetizer “Ummm” always means a double helping of asshattery is next on the menu.

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