RHOC: Season Finale Amazingness

53 Comments

1. 1
   classy drunk
   Posted June 27, 2012 at 4:37 am

   Wow! Everyone was snockered last night at the party…I could barely understand what everyone was saying. Good thing Flip was able give us the transcript.

2. 2
   whoochile
   Posted June 27, 2012 at 5:48 am

   holy buckets! your sarah interpretations were spot on! made me giggle long time

3. 3
   Katie
   Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:36 am

   How does Bravo do it?

   Hiring some truly disturbed people to follow the narrative they lay out that makes them appear totally nuts, overly aggressive, and completely without a shred of dignity. The money must be too good to ignore because I can’t find one sympathetic, well meaning, normal person out of the entire franchise to root for.

   If theyare not up to their ears in money woes, they are trotted onscreen sloshed to the gills and demanding apologies from any and all for the slightest of reasons that a normal person would ignore and move on from.

   That “finale party” was an embarassment for all concerned. Screaming, fighting, jabbing, whining, threatening, and making absolute fools of themselves over NOTHING!

   But the best is watching one pretentious fool offer advice to another pretentious fool about being pretentious. That takes the cake even more so than Sarah Winchesters breaking off a piece of ribbon frosting and being shown the door.

   Amazing!

4. 4
   cloudsinmycoffee
   Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:47 am

   I’m really amazed that Jeana was able to steer clear of the bullshit that occurred at this party. and really? was it that fucking cold that everyone was wearing their ugly fur/faux coats? please. they were acting as if it were early January in Wisconsin.

5. 5
   notwithoutmytv
   Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:50 am

   Bravo’s part is easy–you can hire schizophrenic weirdos at any bus station.

   How the Housewives do it is what I’m interested in. They know each of these vacations and parties are set up for drama. As as a bitch says “Can I talk to you” w, they know hat’s coming. But by the end of the “confrontation”, they honestly seem to be incoherent with rage and hurt. How do they psyche themselves into that state? Maybe they have skills none of us can appreciate?

   “I got thee libz.” HA!

6. 6
   LAC
   Posted June 27, 2012 at 7:03 am

   Nothing says fambly than watching this show with your teenage daughter, her thanking you for not behaving like a drunken fool at a social gatherings (well, that she was in attendance at), and your husband walking by and doing his high pitched impressions of the ladies. Good times!

   Chinned up Jim showing up and doing his patented brand of dickhead was the fondant bow on top of the “all about me” cake of this season. My daughter thought it was nice of him to show up and I told her “wait for it…”

7. 7
   Bored Silly
   Posted June 27, 2012 at 7:22 am

   As a deeply flawed person, I watch this show religiously so I can feel better about myself. It never lets me down. I always start foaming at the mouth when I see Porn Preacher Jim — what a punkass bitch. I was hoping Tamra would take him down last night, but he left with his tail between his legs, after publicly disrespecting his wife. He was probably scared his hair plugs would fall out. Gaaaaah.

8. 8
   classy drunk
   Posted June 27, 2012 at 7:30 am

   It couldn’t have been cold enough for fur. Heather didn’t have on a jacket the entire night also Tamra didn’t have her jacket on most of the night either. So at best there was a chill in the air. No need for fur.

9. 9
   NikkiHughes
   Posted June 27, 2012 at 7:34 am

   OMG, when Jim said something like, Oh do you wear the pants now? I DIED. I can’t stand Alexis but I was mortified for her. But then she goes and runs off with “her man” so I guess she likes that control. Blech

10. 10
    featherhead
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 7:41 am

    Miss Andy did a count of how many times the ho-wives said “Evil Eye” it was 29!! Crooks wouldn’t let it go, so what Tamra rolled her eyes, Vickie is consistantly rolling hers. It wasn’t that big of a deal until Crooks made it so. Vickie is soooo blinded by this guy and cannot see the writing on the wall.
    Alexis is still an idiot and on the reunion sneek peek – they show what everyone was really talking about in Costa Rica, that she treats the behind the scenes people like crap. Now it kinda makes sense.

11. 11
    msjacqmills
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 7:56 am

    First off, Flippy-Poo! When will you be recapping a show again – I’m sure I speak for many when I say, I miss your recaps!

    These nutter butters really out did themselves last night. Holy cannoli that was a lot of cray-cray and assholishness.

    Freakin’ Jim – what a class A dickhead. First, putting Alexis in her place, with the “Oh, you wear the pants now”. If he were my husband, I would have smacked that fugly fake chin right back out of his face. THEN, trying to act like he was sticking up for his wife’s honor (against the AWESOMENESS of Terry), then cutting out and leaving her there without so much as a word to her. Yep, there’s a man looking out for his woman. What a DOUCHE! Oh yeah, almost forgot, nice vest.

    Let’s see, then Brooks – what an ass! I hate him for making me stick up for No-Tears Tamra, but for him to make a big deal out of her rolling her eyes. Let’s just slap a wig on him and call him a housewife, because only the idiot chicks on this show make “molehills out of mountains” in such a way! Another ass-hat trying to say he’s sticking up for his woman’s honor – yeah right. And, dumb ass Vickie just buys right into it and slips further into her delusion of love.

    That’s all I can cover for now….can’t wait for the full recap, HoneyGangsta!

12. 12
    classy drunk
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 8:33 am

    EVIL EYE!!! EVIL EYE!!! EVIL EYE!!!

13. 13
    Katie
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 8:36 am

    “And the award for the best fake scenes involving “tears” goes to Tamra Barney who, hands down, captures the best face scrunching and voice choking performance this season of any of the Housewives shows so far!”

    Also rans were Vicki Gunvalson for the highest screech ever recorded for mankind and Jim Bellino for Douchebag of the Year in his role as Husband in Chief.

    Brooks ” I wouldn’t touch him with a 10 foot pole” Ayres enjoyed runner up to Slade Smiley for the biggest Deadbeat Dad on the Planet Award. Terry Dubrow took honors for being as much of a mediawhore as Dr. Paul Nassif and Simon van Kampen by appearing in scenes that were unnecessary but for their wives.

    But Sarah Winchester “wins” the award for the most drunken, incoherent castmate that, though running in an almost neck to neck tie with Ramona Singer, eclipsed her for having the gall to actually admit to breaking off a piece of cake, something Ramona would never had admitted to short of having a gun aimed at her head.

    Bravo to Bravo!

14. 14
    featherhead
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 8:36 am

    How about when Vickie made the comment about Crooks almost being 45!! ALMOST !! I threw up in my mouth a little – He is Fourty – Fours years old (I’m older) He looks like he is in his late 50′s. Damn, put down the bottle Crooks!!

15. 15
    Mimo
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 9:26 am

    I have to, as I hang my head in shame, found Slade to be rather charming last night. I git it now.

16. 16
    crankyguy
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 9:29 am

    @featherhead — I thought exactly the same thing about Crooks’ age. I thought he was in his late fifties and I was guessing Vicki to be in her mid-to-late forties.

17. 17
    labowner
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 9:46 am

    Why did Heather not take Tamra down a notch for her inappropriate behavior? Has anyone read Sarah’s blog? It is a great read.

    This is the Dubrow’s new home or did they rent for the party? I did notice a large “D” on the door mat (is it called something fancier on billionaires row).

    Flipit – waiting to hear what you think of the Vancouver franchise. Can’t wait for the reunion tonight.

18. 18
    michkabibbles
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 9:50 am

    @classy drunk-i had no idea that every time i semi-roll my eyes at someone stupid i was giving them the evil eye. oh the power i now know i wield.

19. 19
    classy drunk
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 9:54 am

    @labowner, I think the booze had everyone over reacting to everything.

    @Michka, I have given out the EVIL EYE several times at work today.

20. 20
    mere2142
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 10:16 am

    Holy crap was everyone but Briana totally shitfaced at this party? It made for an awesome finale!

    And Jim the Chin was leaving the party without Alexis…that was hysterical. I was hoping he didn’t stop the car to let her in!

    Vicki should get Crooks some new contacts to go along with his new teeth since he can’t tell the difference between an eye roll and the EVIL EYE!!

21. 21
    mere2142
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 10:17 am

    Oh and how awesome was Briana’s husband in that conversation with Vicki.

22. 22
    notwithoutmytv
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 11:37 am

    Briana’s Soldja Boy didn’t go far enough. I mean, I respected the “not my problem” bit, but if you’re going there, carpet bomb that rolling thundercunt.

    And yeah, Jim sucks, I’d never argue that. But he said he wasn’t doing this, and HE LEFT. He didn’t wait for someone to screech something so he could turn and screech back, or any of that bullshit. He left. That’s something the rest of these people can’t seem to do.

    (Well, I’m assuming Jim left. I took the dog out to pee at that point in the show. Watching dog urine roll down the sidewalk is sometimes more edifying than any of the programming on Bravo.)

23. 23
    Surly Girly
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    @ Mimo – You’re not the only one who thought Slade was charming. He’s got a bucket load of issues, but from what I’ve seen of him in social settings, I think he’s engaging, at ease, and witty. I remember back when he first appeared with Jo – he was a regular dude with a job and a sense of self. WTF happened?!

    And what’s up with Heather’s Kabuki make-up? *Not* a good look …

24. 24
    classy drunk
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 12:39 pm

    @NWMTV, yet Jim the Chin came to the party knowing that everyone and the cameras would be there…sure Jim…you wanted to stick up for your wife.

25. 25
    labowner
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 12:47 pm

    Wonder if there is a contractual minimal amount of face time Jim has to give Bravo.

26. 26
    toomuchtv
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    Hate the way Jim spoke to Alexis but admire that he left when Heather and Tamara joined the interrogation. What the HELL business did they have being there except to get their plastic faces on camera. WTF is wrong with Heather’s face?? She looks pulled tighter than Joan Rivers. I am actually glad Brooks called Tamara on her stupid facial shenanigans. She is such a mean woman; always putting her ugly face in where it doesnt belong. Brooks may be a crook, liar, etc., but Vicki REALLY likes him so the haters should lay off. Also, couldn’t believe Brianna defended Tamara against her mom, “Tamara would never do that…” HUH?? Tamara would do anything and everything to draw attention to herself and start trouble. Brianna must have been really drunk or really mad at Vicki.

27. 27
    notwithoutmytv
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    Someone on here described Heather’s “crazy whoville face” the other day. I think that’s just about perfect. She sorta looks like something from a WETA creature lab–not quite human.

    More human-looking than Vicki, Queen of the Ugnauts, though.

28. 28
    kthxbai
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 1:41 pm

    @labowner I think so. He’s got a certain amount of scenes to do before he can get a check. Like the baby daddies on 16 and Teen Mom.

    There’s an article in their news quoting him saying if you jump in their trampoline park you’ll burn up 1000 calories an hour.

    Vicki says she’s not going to put her fur coat on any more. She didn’t know about it being cruel till she got a letter from PETA.

    Some Tweets from Crooks

    I paid for my teeth and the fur with my own money

    .You guys have no idea what Tamra has done or is trying to do! I’m not the one at fault!

    The season might be over. But they still keep on giving!

29. 29
    fox
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    why oh why oh why is Eddie marrying Tamra?? Where is his common sense?

30. 30
    Surly Girly
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 2:41 pm

    labowner: “Wonder if there is a contractual minimal amount of face time Jim has to give Bravo”

    I wonder if he’s on-air less, since the “face time” now includes additional chin acreage – thus fulfilling the contractual minimum of “face”…

31. 31
    Mims
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 5:29 pm

    i miss flipits recaps too!! please come back!!

32. 32
    Miss Molly
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 5:54 pm

    I loved that Heather had to call ALL the women and their men to help her get rid of the bow eater.
    I love that Alexis got on the bus and drove it over Sarah after she left saying “the girl who left is not the girl who came in with me”.
    I love that Gretchen gave Tamra a bracelet that she knew would piss off Vicki – but I would have loved it even more if Gretchen had included a charm for “that time you got me drunk and I made out with your son”.
    I love that Terry could look pull off the “I never said Alexis was the phoniest person I ever met” with a straight face. “I only called her phony. BIG DIFFERENCE.”
    I love that Jim thinks that wearing pants makes you in charge.
    I love the way Vicki screams “I AM THE HAPPIEST I HAVE EVER BEEN” because when I am the happiest I have ever been I scream like a banshee too.

33. 33
    maryedith
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 7:10 pm

    Tamra’s screwing with Vicki all season was expertly done. Only a truly cold-hearted, manipulative bitch could have pulled it off so well. I thought I couldn’t be surprised by these shows anymore, but the evil of Tamra has actually shocked me a little.

34. 34
    Flipit
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 8:23 pm

    love reading the comments. i wish that there was a way we could all sit around watching this bs together so we could laugh and laugh
    i will be recapping again this summer! i have been obsessed with video recaps for a bit, and i’m getting a weekly cartoon ready to post on the gasm for the season, and then i’m on big brother and rhom or project runway, whichever comes back first!
    love to you guys and thanks for reading/commenting

35. 35
    realhousewivesfan
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    Heather started off as an outsider but has emerged into the snarky drama stirring oc role to fit in!
    my dream cast would be
    Vicki . Jeana, Lauri (if not Peggy)
    Tamara, Gretchen, Alexsis, Heather.

36. 36
    Gypsy
    Posted June 28, 2012 at 9:28 am

    I JUST got back from Flo-rida on a work trip last night and caught this and half of the new Real World.

    Before I read can I just say Vicki is such a cuntastic mess she makes for amazeballs TV and did that hideous cake ever get cut? The Cake was like the 6th Housewive for the past two weeks!

    On to reading EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

37. 37
    Mimo
    Posted June 28, 2012 at 9:34 am

    Maybe I missed something – I’ll have to watch for it the next 250 times it’s shown, but wasn’t Terry the one that forced the “sit down”? I could have sworn Jim had said that he wanted to go out to lunch to discuss it. I think the only reason that Jim agreed to sit down with Terry at the party was because when Alexis came in at the tail end of the conversation and said that they should discuss it at lunch, out came the “I’m head of this family” and he did the opposite of what Alexis was telling him to do. And, wtf reason did Tamara have for joining what was obviously a personal discussion?

38. 38
    Gypsy
    Posted June 28, 2012 at 10:24 am

    Ok, these comments are awesome, thanks for the minicap flipit, miss you long time!

    @Mimo comment 15, I too fell for the 50 Shades of Slade. WTF now I need EST!

    Did ANYONE catch Brooks’ balls starting to drop as he ushered Icky and son in law out of the Eyebrow Mansion stating to Heather that it really is a ‘family’ issue when she was ordered by Bravo to go get her so they could all do the final scene together? THE SACK on that minimulleted man! HA!

    And I love love love love love love inifinity how Vicki (still never once taking off that gd fur coat) had-I MEAN HAD- to go back in and cheers the ‘champs’ to the Eyebrows then, steal the stage and make it about her being happy WITH BROOKS! HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA, omg I nearly need the heimlich from choking on my wine!

    That bitch is straight out of her mind!

    Brianna for housewife season 8!

    PS-Jimmy the Chin, the 90′s Prom called and they want their Tony Toni Tone vest back, just sayin’.

39. 39
    classy drunk
    Posted June 28, 2012 at 10:55 am

    @Gypsy but the best part of that scene was that Heather paid Brooks no attention. She looked at him and continued her conversation with Vicki.

40. 40
    maryedith
    Posted June 28, 2012 at 11:05 am

    Not quite getting the Slade admiration. Did no one else wince when he talked to Terry like he was auditioning to be his house boy?

    @Mimo, I think it was actually Alexis who told Jim to sit down with Terry. She said “it would be weird” if he didn’t. Jim did say “Are you wearing the pants now?” but then I think he realized that was going overboard, so he did sit down. I know Jim is slimeballs but I pitied him in this scene. It was the usual thing of “Hope he doesn’t cause drama” and then “He better sit down with all of us and create some drama!”

41. 41
    Gypsy
    Posted June 28, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    @classy you KNOW IT!

    She OWNED him.

    Also notable, how amazeballs was Terry for his spot on recolection of calling Jesus Barbie simply “phony”, not, THE PHONIEST PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD! (Oh thank you Bravo Editors). That was just spectacular. And what a set up…Jim taking off sans JB and she’s trotting in her hooker heels whimpering Jim’s name and we’re to believe he hadn’t already turned up Nickelback all the way while he chirped it out of the driveway; instead stopped and let Alexis tuck and roll into the Rent-a-Bently? *coughs* Buillshit!

42. 42
    NikkiHughes
    Posted June 28, 2012 at 1:25 pm

    @Gypsy – “…and we’re to believe he hadn’t already turned up Nickelback all the way…” BWAAAHAAHAAA. Jim totally listens to Nickelback. Such a tool.

43. 43
    maryedith
    Posted June 28, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    Dude. You know Jim still listens to Creed.

44. 44
    Gypsy
    Posted June 28, 2012 at 1:35 pm

    Don’t forget Candlebox!

45. 45
    Annie
    Posted June 28, 2012 at 7:18 pm

    LMAO that the only time Brooks says ANYTHING all season not straight from the “Hallmark Sweetheart Swindler” line, it ends up being the dumbest thing he could have possibly said. I love it. He’s a moron and so is Vicki.

    Ehh, Brooks is a southern man, maybe The Evil Eye ™ © was an old voodoo ghost story they used to tell each other in the swamps of “Camp Deadbeat”

46. 46
    michkabibbles
    Posted June 28, 2012 at 7:59 pm

    slightly off topic-but in flipit’s comment-what does rhom refer to? is there a real housewives franchise that i’m unaware of? just curious. thanks!

47. 47
    2muchbravo
    Posted June 28, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    RHof Miami

48. 48
    cherrylipgloss
    Posted June 28, 2012 at 9:54 pm

    @Katie #13…..oh poor poor pitiful fake cryer Tamra….knowing we’re onto the fake- out she now covers her entire face so we can’t see the wheels turning….notice how difficult (impossible) it is for her to try to repress the smile during her Sarah Bernhardt moments…..??

    Damn you Flipit! I hated Miami and now I’m forced to watch it aaa-and Big Brother just to get the full impact of your recaps…..the price we pay….

49. 49
    maryedith
    Posted June 28, 2012 at 9:58 pm

    She can’t even cry CROCODILE TEARS. How low can a woman SINK?
    I forgot there even was a Miami. It’s blowing my mind that there was a Miami.

50. 50
    Gypsy
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 8:23 am

    Ok everyone, Miami was mostly a snooze fest but try to think about it like this:

    Fliptit recapping ELSA=Gasm GOLD!

    I’m a believer.

51. 51
    maryedith
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 9:12 am

    Fliptit. Nice.

52. 52
    michkabibbles
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 10:19 am

    @toomuchbravo-thanks! i’d completely forgotten about miami. i was kind of hoping that there’d be a rho the midwest or some such coming down the pike, but alas, no.

53. 53
    kthxbai
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 3:42 pm

    OMG Me too! I want to add Mama Elsa to my Real Housewives All Stars Fantasy Cast. And swap out Vicki for Alexis. At least today.

    So now my picks are: Teresa (NJ), Ramona (NY) Jodi (VBC), Nene (ATL), Alexis (OC), Mama Elsa (MIA) and Kim Richards (BH)

    While I was at it I also decided the All Stars show needs to be set in New Orleans. In a big house like the 1 they had on Real World NO. But the Real Housewives all have to live in bunk beds. Like the America’s Next Top Model House used to do. But they can have a smush room like Jersey Shore. For their conjugal visits. And random hookups.