I sure as shit know how I feel about her friend, Beau, though. I want to meet him. So I can punch him. That is all. He and Karen’t are very close, it seems, and while he is a MASSIVE fan of himself, he is no great fan of Lea Black. Apparently, Lea snubbed him at a club one night so he insults her, and would be nothing without her husband. And you’d be nothing without “Big Brother,” Bitch, so stop snapping in everyone’s face. Ugh, I hate this guy.
Back to the sisters, Joanna’s just staring hate daggers and drunkenly slurring bullshit about Marysol’s maybe-fur. She just doesn’t understand how Marysol can feel classy wearing “voiceless, defenseless animals.” Opinions on class from the drunken supermodel at the lingerie party. Pay attention, Gasmii! Joanna blathers on about how Marysol’s mother is some sort of “spiritual healer,” but she’s really just “the devil.” Or you in 40 years, Joanna. If you’re lucky.
Joanna resolves to confront Marysol at that moment, and Marta, who, heretofore has barely been able to stay conscious is blasted awake at the prospect of Joanna making an ass of herself AGAIN. Marta, stop fighting it. It’s way more entertaining that way. Find Lea, I’m sure she’s got some popcorn she wants to share.
But Marta doesn’t listen to me, though she does manage to talk Joanna down from the ledge, begging her sister to see that THIS IS NOT THE TIME to confront Marysol about the maybe-fur. Marta just made herself one of the smartest people at this party, a feat I did not think was possible given the amount of weed/qualuudes she’s apparently on.
There’s an intercut of Lisa droning on about the importance of her party and that while she’s not happy that there’s already been an “incident,” she’s focused on raising money. Thanks, Bravo. I’d forgotten for a moment that this party was about breast cancer, and not the punch you’ve been promoting since before the season began.
Speaking of which, Adriana shows up! Also her nipples, which remain blurred out for most of the episode. She interviews that after trying on HUNDREDS of outfits, she settled on looking sexy, not slutty. Her nipples did not get the memo. She greets the kitchen crowd, Lisa, Elaine, Joe Francis, and interviews that she’s known Joe for years, loves him, and that he’s a really nice guy. Know what else doesn’t buy you class, Gasmii? Shitty taste in friends.
Adriana hooks up with Marysol, and they start gabbing in Spanglish about Karen’t and Joanna’s issues with the maybe-fur. Adriana interviews that Joanna might be associated with PETA, but that doesn’t make her a dictator of what people wear.
Over by the pool, Karen’t, Beau and Romain rejoin the sisters. Solidifying his status as honorary Housewife, Romain gets his first interview of the season! Congratulations, Romain! Welcome to the Slippery Slope. He says that he can’t defend Joanna against Joe Francis without “going to jail,” and he can’t be with Joanna if she gets crazy every time she drinks. Romain, I feel ya, but come ON. If some dude is embarrassing the shit out of your girlfriend, and you do exactly jack crap to defend her it’s not because of the alcohol that she’s crazy. At the party, he pulls her into his lap and asks if she’s calmed down. She pouts, “No,” and he voice overs that she’ll find any excuse to go nuts on someone.