LEA: Seriously? (inner monologue) Okay, bullshit excuse for the bullshit person, what do I got, what do I got? Aaaaand activate. (end inner monologue) If I don’t have my glasses on, I can’t see ten feet in front of me.
BEAU: Oh, okay, friends for life!
Lea interviews in fine, FINE Lea fashion, “What’d I do? Everyone’s so sensitive – people just need to chill out.” Man, I will say some shit about Lea, but she clearly has more fun than everyone around her, so people need to heed the order to chill the fuck out. But, if someone’s hopped up on the snow, ain’t much reasoning with them. How can you tell? Beau keeps talking. They hug, they make up, he tells everyone they’ve made up, he DEIGNS to come her event, which I highly doubt he was even invited to, and when Lea LOOKS AT HER PHONE, he flips out again. I think I’ve found a queen I like less than Elaine, and that is sayin’ something. Lea explains that she has a son, and she always checks her phone in case it’s him. James jumps in, and I’m with him, telling Lea to stop defending herself. Then he and Beau get into it, because if Beau doesn’t have someplace to PUT ALL THE ENERGY ALL THE ENERGY WILL SPIN AND SPIN AND SPIN AND SPIN UNTIL EXPLODE!!!!!!
Don’t do drugs, Kids.
James and Beau get into an, “Uh-uh!” “No you DIDN’T!” finger pointing Ladyboy fight that climaxes (hee!) when James pushes Beau into the pool. Oh for pity’s sake. Lisa! Someone’s fighting again! Lisa runs over with some security and starts screaming that there is “NO FIGHTING IN MY HOUSE!” Lisa interviews that there’s no sign of Lenny, so she has to deal with it. Shit hits the fan in a MIGHTY way at that point. James and Beau keep yelling despite Lea trying to separate them, Beau maybe accidentally hits Lisa and gets her phone wet, Adriana lets Joe Francis wipe off her purse with his robe, and now her purse probably has Hep C. Then the music turns off. Shit just got real, yo!
Lisa’s nipple comes out while she’s yelling about the music, and it appears the water splashed the DJ booth. Lisa goes on a damn rampage that makes me thinks she looks like an eight-year old, but somehow she manages to finally gain Lea’s respect. Are we in Underland or some shit? YEESH. Lea interviews that when Lisa started going off about how Lea and her friends were ruining the party, there was truth to that. Seeing Lisa
yell a lot really fight for something was a side to the young housewife that Lea hadn’t seen before. Aw, more hugs!
Karen’t’s in the kitchen attending to the truly important damage, Lisa’s phone, and tries to calm Lisa down by agreeing with everything Lisa says, except the part about the fact that Beau was Karen’t’s guest. Karen’t is careful to establish that she is not a person who brings trouble with her. She is the trouble other people bring.
It’s an important distinction.