Previously: some stuff happened, some other stuff happened, Joe Francis appeared and then girls started behaving like assholes. Coincidence?
It’s the day after Lisa’s party and everyone is still spinning from the drama of last night. Everyone except Lea, that is. Lea’s busy prepping for the Black’s Annual Gala, and she looks way more believable in the charity maven role than Lisa did. Don’t worry, Lisa, you’ll get there.
Lea’s at the Fountainbleu overseeing the setup, VOing about how difficult it is to keep 800 people happy in a ballroom, so she finds Norman Baker, an energy/color reader she’s hired to balance the energy of the party so there’s no drama. I kind of get the sense that Lea’s gala is the only part of her life she’s a little on the fence about having on the show. More than once this episode she references the fact that there are people attending this party who would not… embrace, shall we say, the type of drama that was present at Lisa’s party and is so prevalent at Real Housewives events. I like to call these people, “legitimate people,” or “smart people,” or “old money.”
Then again, Lea does have this guy there, so maybe my read on her is totally off base.
Gasmii, meet Norman Baker. He’s an energy/color reader and Roy has risen in my estimation by considering him looney tunes. Norman’s job is essentially to rub bowls with a stick and openmouthed hum a lot. To quote Ana, “You can’t write this shit.” Well, you can, it’s just called “bad writing.” Norman is the happiest elf who ever did live, and I would be, too, if I’d managed to run a long con as successfully as he has. Lea walks him around the Foutainbleu where he blesses a bunch of things by just pretending he doesn’t’ have a tongue. I’d make a joke about him not knowing how to read, but he clearly knows his vowels.
They bless the auction items, which include a ticket to the Playboy Mansion Halloween Party, a bunch of nice cars and other stuff that now has Norman’s spittle on it. According to Lea, they’re sitting pretty with the preparations, and I believe her if she has time to lead around a magical elf.
Elsewhere, Adriana visits the DSW that resides in Alexia’s house and proceeds to give Alexia the lowdown on what happened the night before. Of course Adriana is the victim of a coward (Karen’t) and a psycho (Joanna) and Romain. The way she tells it, she pulled Karen’t aside to have a talk away from everybody else, but Karen’t didn’t want to move the conversation out of the kitchen. Alexia rolls her eyes and snits that Karen’t knew she was in the doghouse and didn’t want to move away from the safety zone. No shit, can you blame her? Adriana relays Karen’t’s insistence that the article was largely fabricated and then describes Joanna as a crazed blond Amazon who insinuated herself into the conversation uninvited, followed closely by Romain. Okay, that part’s totally accurate. Adriana accuses Joanna of namecalling, finger-giving and shoulder grabbing, all of which culminated in Adriana being forced to slappunch the model in the face.