Meanwhile, about a week before any of this took place, Ana gives Joanna a cooking lesson! Remember they talked about that last week – come on, Guys. Continuity, please? Joanna has no great love of cooking (“No shit,” said the onion), but she wants to try to do something nice and romantic for Romain. By cooking him bad food? You know the man’s French, right? Anywho, Ana has decided a good starter dish for Joanna is risotto. Which she posits one can’t screw up. What? Ana, have you met risotto? Have you met Undercooked Risotto? Have you met Overcooked Risotto? Because I and many fine, fine Top Chefs have met both of those risottos, but have very rarely had the pleasure of hanging with the delicately balanced Perfectly Cooked Risotto.
“I’ve met them all, I just like sabotaging pretty girls.”
Once the pretense of cooking is underway, the gossip begins. The usual suspects are there – Rodolpho has Facebooked Joanna, which warrents another retelling of Ana’s infamous “in the mood for Cuban” Facebook attack, and the subsequent texting that may or may not have happened. Once again, Ana says Karent and Rodolpho’s relationship isn’t real. Joanna doesn’t know who to believe and I still don’t care. The subject changes to the women’s own less than successful romantic lives (mmmmHMM) and Joanna asks about Ana’s marriage, and Ana explains that while trying to maintain like, eight careers, she and Robert let their marriage slide. Joanna knows how that goes, what with all her hosting and dancing and smiling, she hasn’t been giving Romain the attention he needs. Ana advises her to stop that shit right in its tracks or she’ll be on Romain as soon as she can bleach her hair.
Speaking of discomfort, let’s check in on Karent and Rodolpho. Rodo’s just in from Mexico, and all he wants to do is make sweet, sweet – I can’t finish that sentence without barfing. Just imagine and barf on your own. But instead of that business, Karent wants to talk about the girls! Like, she physically pushes Rodolpho away in order to talk about Adriana. Rodo pouts in his chair and half-heartedly responds that if the women are going to be bitchy to Karent, Karent should be a bitch back. I don’t think Karent is smart enough to be a bitch back.
OMG! Where’d all her teeth go?!!
Rodo looks more and more pained the longer Karent drones on, and I think I believe their a real couple now. I mean, she’s withholding sex and he’s miserable. Either that or it’s all a front and he’s gay. Oh m, God. Gasmii… I think I may have hit on something… Could all this bullshit about him and other women just be overcompensation for you know what?