Back from that warped display of functionality to our comfort zone – a couple whose days are numbered! Joanna and her sister, Marta sit and giggle on the couch as Romain scrounges around the kitchen for food. They all bicker over how there’s never anything in the fridge – Joanna says why buy stuff when it goes bad – only buy when you know you’re going to use it! That’s 1% Common Sense, Folks. Only stock your fridge on those rare occasions when it’s necessary to cook for yourself. Romain thinks Marta should cook for them if she’s going to squat there for weeks at a time, and Marta agrees, but she just hasn’t had enough time in recent weeks what with all of her auditioning and whatnot. Confusing, since Joanna explains that Marta’s only there when things are slow… Speaking of Marta, she and Romain don’t get along, either because he wants to sleep with her or because he doesn’t. There’s a minor tiff when she walks in on him naked and screams like a 12-year-old. She and Joanna giggle about Romain’s hairy junk and then Joanna interviews that they haven’t been having sex much recently. I don’t get it – I mean Latin men love it when they’re constantly emasculated by their women. What gives?
I’m sure once he sees this episode and listens to Joanna announcing to the nation that he isn’t satisfying her needs their sex life will pick right on up!
We return to Ana in her kitchen cooking with her foulmouthed daughters, Kati and Beba. I’m sure they’re nice girls, but if one of my daughters answered, “On his girlfriend,” when I asked, “Is your father coming,” I’d slap the shit out of her. After vomiting on her. But I don’t have kids, so my opinion only counts here at the Gasm. The girls inquire as to whether or not Mark, Ana’s boyfriend is coming, and to their delight, he is not. Mark’s an attorney that’s pretty serious, according to Ana, but that’s all we really find out about him because the conversation immediately moves back to Robert, the ex. Good luck, Mark!
Ana interviews that Robert and she are moving in very different directions, but it’s still hard to let go. They’ve been separated for two years, but have yet to file their divorce papers. Again – all the best, Mark. The girls giggle about their dad becoming a total party-boy cliché since the divorce, equipped with everything necessary for douchbaggery – motorcycle, twink girlfriend and long hair. Ana laughs, too, but it is painfully obvious she still digs him, douchrocket though he may be.
With that we’re onto Lea! And her shockingly young son! Gasmii, my jaw literally dropped when I saw this kid. I mean, I think Lea’s plenty attractive… for a 60-something who’s had some decent work done. I realize I sound awful right now, but I’m not in full command of my faculties.
I just don’t see it…