RHOM Recap: Keep Tellin’ Yourself That

Recaps

By Alejandra | Saturday, September 22, 2012 | 8:24 pm | 24 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Real Housewives of Miami, Recaps

And now for Marysol’s story this week.  Elsa visits her daughter’s office and throws rice and perfume on everyone to rid the place of bad energy.  That is all.  Commercial!

Back in Joanna’s high-rise neck of the woods, it’s time for her and Romain to have a serious talk about their ill-fated romance.  It’s kinda sad, actually.  There are moments where they do seem to really enjoy each other, like when Romain lists off the anniversaries of their first date and first kiss, but then he starts talking about the wedding they never had and it goes downhill from there.  Basically, they’ve been together five years, and up until now, Joanna hasn’t been ready to get married.  She is NOW, but Romain… appears to have lost interest.  That’s the best way I can describe it.  He gives her all the “Why should we put a contract on our love,” bullshit, and then when she pushes the issue further, he blames her for the fact that they haven’t gotten married already.  Joanna, to her credit, takes responsibility for putting her career first for the past few years (because that’s a huge fucking crime), and I think her a little less of an asshole for the time being.  She interviews that they’ve been having a rough time of it lately, so that’s the reason talk of marriage isn’t well-received by Romain. 

I don’t know, the whole thing kind of makes me sad. They seem like they were probably really happy once, but he probably didn’t understand why she didn’t want to get married, got hurt, and Joanna probably doesn’t understand why it feels like she has to choose between her career and her relationship.  Eh, just spinning…   And if you think that’s a lot of analysis of a couple I’ve never met and only have about 10 minutes of exposure to, I could write a fucking book on Brad and Jen, so consider yourselves lucky.

Beautiful people make for tragic love stories. 

And if that weren’t enough uncomfortable relationship time, now we get to have dinner with Adriana and Frederic.  He is impossibly romantic, making her dinner after she’s had a long day of work, telling her he’s always courting her even though they’re engaged.  And Hey, speaking of engagements…  Adriana interviews that she and Frederic are perfect together, but she’s really, REALLY not ready to get married.  She tries a few kinds of BS in order to veer him off the aisle – she pulls the, “I’m actually really happy with what we have now, surprisingly.  I don’t think I need to get married anytime soon.”  To which Frederic responds, “I’m ready to get married right now.  Like, right now.  Immediately.  Tonight.  Is that clear?”  Not to be deterred, Ad mentions that they should really wait until the boat is finished before they even think about a wedding.  Also not to be deterred, Frederic is all, “Right, so you can have some time to talk yourself out of it.  Got it.”  Eventually, Adriana succeeds in pushing back the wedding until after the boat is done, and breathlessly interviews that she’s bought herself some more time.  She and Karent need to switch partners like, yesterday. 

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About

Alejandra lives in Los Angeles and is an actor/writer/producer of opinions.  She loves the beach, but never goes, and hates reality stars, but follows them religiously.  In addition to TVGasm, you can read her writing at the online magazine DigN2It, or various fanfiction websites if you're industrious enough to find her.  If you're not industrious at all, a bottle of fine wine will always be an acceptable bribe.

24 Comments

  1. 1
    gretchenbarney
    Posted September 23, 2012 at 6:00 am

    Leah was a juror in the William Kennedy Smith rape trial. The one where her husband leaked every detail of the woman’s sexual history to the media (the rape shield laws only protect her in the courtroom). Last season, she and her husband had a party for Joe Francis – the convicted rapist of Girls Gone Wild fame – when he got out of jail. I just can’t find Leah to be entertaining because that’s all I can think of.

  2. 2
    Polk8dot
    Posted September 23, 2012 at 6:56 am

    I think Lea is the kind of person that would and did sell her soul for a better situation in life (let’s face it, her current one is fantastic, if you’re after that sort of reward), and now will DO ANYTHING to keep the pretense going. I totally believe that her conversation with her son was only for OUR benefit; that she’s trying very hard to convince us – but maybe, actually, herself – that she is an equal pertner in the marriage, that she is as smart /educated /powerful as her husband. Her arguments in defense of that lying drunk murderer a-hole were pathetic and assinine, and there is no way she honestly believed what she was spewing. And that husband of hers – urrrghhh. I don’t understand what she even saw in him – but then again, I remind myself of his wallet, and I understand perfectly.
    Lea is now as disgusting as he is, and after just this one episode I lost almost ALL respect for her that she earned last season. I like people who “can’t deal with stupid” as I’m the same way, but I also can’t deal with people who willfully and consciously spread bullshit around just because they excuse it as NECESSARY to maintain their position /lifestyle. I can actually completely buy into the theory that she’d spread similar rumors herself about anybody she had beef with, and would show zero remorse since SHE HAD TO TAKE CARE of No. 1.

  3. 3
    Katie
    Posted September 23, 2012 at 7:25 am

    Lea Black is an insufferable “snob”. Would love to know exactly where she came from that makes her the “voice” of these equally insufferable stuffed, Botoxed, weaved, women who come across more like “kept” trophies.

    The courtcase she was referring to featured a billionaire who walked away from a car crash after having spent the evening drinking himself into a stupor and leaving the victim to drown. Then facing a long prison term and possibly losing a lot of money in the meantime, he “adopted” his live-in girlfriend as one of his “children”. I guess you can’t get much more callous than this guy she chooses to defend. But money defends money no matter how egregious the behavior.

    As much as these other Miami mistresses are pretty much a boring lot to begin with, it’s Lea and her snotty ways that are most annoying. Can’t stand her!

    The most “idiotic” is the one whose boy toy is cheating on her. The smell of desperation is in the air. The model is a moron and Adriana better cling to that older “benefactor” as her looks seem to be fast fading from this angle.

    Mama Elsa is merely a much older version of what these women represent: golddiggers who have found themselves a “money pit” in the men who act out their fantasies.

  4. 4
    Polk8dot
    Posted September 23, 2012 at 7:31 am

    Also:
    1. Joanna – still an asshole; and Marta just as big one. They really are 2 peaches, aren’t they?
    2. Karen(T) – first I thought she was just turning a blind eye to the whole Rodolpho situation, but now I’m convinced she is just simply DELUSIONAL!
    3. Adriana – can’t even imagine what her beef is, but she definitely seems to be seriously f-ed up. Her whole relationship with Frederic is a head scratcher.
    4. Lisa – no way she’s “trying to get pregnant for 3 years”. The husband probably thinks they are, but I bet she is still secretly on the pill, pretending not to be able to conceive. She is SOOOOOO F-ing VAIN that there is no way she’d ever let her figure get messed up for 9! months (hello, shades of Shlemille). I bet by the end of the season we will be hearing of the surrogate search. Also, their whole marriage is hilarious since I’d bet my left hand he is gay; SMH.
    Finally, I read that she’s supposed to be only 27 years old! That’s impossible, right? With the amount of work she’s already had done she looks at least like a well maintained late 30′s /early 40′s to me.
    5. Marysol – Oy. I DO like her, but she’s such a train wreck it breaks my heart how unhappy she seems.
    6. Ana – like her a lot; she just needs to grow into her part on this show. I bet in real life she it tough, thoughtful and independent, but here she comes across as insecure, completely co-dependent on her ex, and a pushover. Can’t wait for her to blossom, and mete out some much needed reality checks (looking at you Karen(T)).

    It is SUCH A PLEASURE to finally watch some women who have had an education, are truly successful in life and business, are seriously financially the 1%-ers, and still KNOW HOW TO ENJOY IT ALL. After the bred-in stupidity; complete lack of any intellectual curiosity; empty faux-facades of financial success; and moral and fiscal bancruptcy on RHONJ and RHOC, I love to be able to listen to their conversations without my ears bleeding.

  5. 5
    bubblesballentine
    Posted September 23, 2012 at 8:35 am

    As much as I hate to, I guess we have to thank the Real Housewives franchise for at least one thing – Proof that the best plastic surgeons can be found in NYC.

  6. 6
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted September 23, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    As a Florida resident, I/we were bombarded with the Goodman trial coverage. Then after the guilty verdict a DUMBASS juror was found to have done some not-so-exactly-sorta-maybe ok-legal “experimenting” whilst in deliberations. Ugh.

    Lea definitely needs to open her eyes to what really happened, and what could so easily have been avoided if this rich asshat had not been driving, but I think she has purposely put on rose-tinted glasses. Being the wife of a defense attorney can’t be easy…she likely has to convince herself these people aren’t all that bad (and all of them AREN’T – just many/most), in order to be able to look at herself in the mirror everyday.

    QUESTION: Lea mentions in her blog that she was ‘red eyed a lot in this episode because five months and twenty one days ago some sort of romantic tragedy occurred?!? Am I woefully ignorant that I don’t know what she’s talking about? Help, please!

    Oh, and I totes agree this is going to a good season :-)

  7. 7
    realhousewivesfan
    Posted September 23, 2012 at 8:50 pm

    my favorites are Leah, her rudeness IS rude but it’s hilarious to me, plus she sports some major jewls, love em. Then its Audriana cause she’s pretty hard core and looks like Sophia Vegara. So far my next fav is Daisy, cause she’s actually very light comic relief and a REAL housewife of miami. with lots of money, lol.

  8. 8
    Jason
    Posted September 23, 2012 at 11:31 pm

    I just wanna see more of Romain – clothed, semi-naked, or completely naked, hairy junk and all. The rest of the botox’d, delusional airheads, not so much.

  9. 9
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 4:43 am

    I like these ladies. They are completely entertaining and rich.

    Right now Ana and Joanna are my favorites. Now of course that will change during the season but that’s how I feel so far.

    Lea should have used that moment as a teaching moment with her son. Even one drink can impair your facilities and this can be the result.

  10. 10
    eyediosmio Eyediosmio
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 7:00 am

    I will never understand how the wealthy drink and drive. He was wealthy enough he could have gotten a driver or even called a cab, yet he chose to drive an dleft that poor kid to drown. Such a tragedy and that guy was such a sleezebag. Only in Florida – yeesh.

    I love these women, they are all cray cray and on a razor’s edge. Cant wait to see what the rest of the season brings!

  11. 11
    Calibeach
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 9:04 am

    I was shocked that Lea didn’t use this conversation as a teaching moment. Alcohol is never okay before or after an accident. We all know the case and I can’t believe for one moment she wanted to put it out there. I really believe she is disgusting and how would she feel if it was her son who was left out there to drown. I think the young man was 16 or 18? Where is the compassion? Really Bravo? Come on Andy, you can do better than that. She could have told her son, no matter what whether it was Goodman’s fault or not…you always call 911. I don’t care what stupid jewels or cars or house she owns, she is one disgusting woman and so is his her husband. I hope her son doesn’t suffer repercussions from this idiot couple.

  12. 12
    jp
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 9:10 am

    I get how the model wants to be around her sister but it so clearly affects her relationship with her man. He is just so obviously annoyed by them sitting around on the couch all day acting silly. By the way he is seriously attractive, which is hard to say for any of the men in the housewives series. Just replace everyone’s men with dudes that look like him and I would never stop watching the series.

    Leah, good she supports her husband but ehhhhh yeahhhhh to the rest of that whole situation.

    I don’t mind Marysol but I really can’t stand her mom’s face. Like I was watching this during a meal and I had to stop eating everytime the face came on because I was so grossed out.

    I feel like not too many people watched Miami the first season but it is going to pick up this season for some reason. But thats just coming from me who did not watch the first season!

  13. 13
    labowner
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 9:52 am

    Karent get over it, he is just using you and I don’t know how old you are, but you look older than Ana.

    Joanna it’s over hun. You missed that train. Not saying putting your career first is wrong, especially when your career is based on you being young and looking good. As you have shown, you went from cover girl to editorial girl. That is a step down the old ladder.

    Glad to see Alexia. Hope all goes well for her and her son and the family.

    Lea all sorts of wrong with you lately. Putting you on ignore for now.

    Have zero interest in seeing Marysol’s marriage fall apart on screen. We know they are divorced. Why do we have to watch? Is this her only story line, besides her mom?

    After showing Russell’s suicide, expect nothing but the lowest common denominator from Bravo.

    Hello Alejandra and thanks for recapping.

  14. 14
    Lisa
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 10:59 am

    I have searched high and low (well on the interwebs, that is) and CANNOT find Lea’s age, which I want to know so, so bad. It is my new reality show holy grail.

    The most hilarious thing ever was after the first episode Lea and Joanna were on “Watch what happens live” and one of the first viewer questions was something like “If this was Gilligan’s Island Lea would be Mrs. Howell – would Joanna be Ginger or Maryann?”. The look on Lea’s face was priceless. You know in her mind that woman thinks she is Ginger, lol.

  15. 15
    labowner
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 11:21 am

    “We are chatting with the ladies one by one, and on a recent conference call, we caught up with 56-year-old philanthropist Black, who met her husband, famed defense attorney Roy Black, when she was a juror on the William Kennedy Smith trial in 1991.”

  16. 16
    Sunshine
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 12:41 pm

    Even though it was so junior high, I have to say I would rather watch the women talking about who’s man is texting who instead of seeing families being destroyed and total fake and scripted b.s. like they have shown us this year on NJ.

    I think this group is just nutty enough to keep us entertained. I liked Lea a lot last year but I can’t decide this year if she will remain one of my faves… I like her honesty….I used to like laughing at her outfits (I think she got a stylist) but when she was explaining the trial to her son I was very very turned off.

    To me, Karent seems the most desperate…but it’s early in the season! Let the games begin!

  17. 17
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 2:32 pm

    QUESTION: Lea mentions in her blog that she was ‘red eyed a lot in this episode because five months and twenty one days ago some sort of romantic tragedy occurred?!? Am I woefully ignorant that I don’t know what she’s talking about? Help, please!

    I repeat my question lol. Anyone know? Lisa got to hear an idea of how old Lea is…I need an answer :-)

  18. 18
    labowner
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 3:03 pm

    Amy I posted Lea’s age and I am assuming she is upset about Marysol’s relationship falling apart.

  19. 19
    fancyface
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 7:29 pm

    Interesting Labowner…I assumed she was talking about Adriana’s relationship that she was so protective over coming to an end. I think she kind of hates Marysol this season, so I can’t see her giving a crap that her fake marriage that she predicted was fake is over.

  20. 20
    labowner
    Posted September 25, 2012 at 9:46 am

    Fancy the only reason I say that is she claims in her blog we will see it play out over the season and Marysol has said her breakup plays out over the season. Marysol’s husband was just moving out about the time of the Swine and Wine event when Lea had her “red” eyes. Her and Marysol were friends before the Larissa fiasco.

  21. 21
    labowner
    Posted September 25, 2012 at 9:58 am

    Fancy it’s either Marysol or she is has her time line messed up – her dog passed away in April. Maybe the dog was starting to get sick at the time of the Swine and Wine fest.

  22. 22
    labowner
    Posted September 25, 2012 at 10:06 am

    Oh geez it is her dog. Her dog was at the vet during the swine and wine event according to her twitter account.

  23. 23
    Zo Impressive
    Posted September 28, 2012 at 10:00 am

    Lea needs a reality check big time. She’s got to be close to 60 and denies a face lift? Girl, we all saw that face last season. As far as her husband’s clientele?? What happened to confidentiality? I wouldn’t hire Roy Black if I could afford him. And yes, that rich white guy was drunk and convicted of DUI manslaughter bc he’s a drunk. Lose the drag queen. S(he) does nothing for your image!!?!
    Joanna, just get a grip. Roman is going bye, so should Marta. Adriana, blondes do have more fun and you are engaged. Ana, Lisa, Karent, later. Alexis, best to you and your son.

  24. 24
    sarahcolon
    Posted October 18, 2012 at 9:04 am

    AFTER 3 episodes, now, I believe Lisa is my favorite. Initially, it was Alexia and Joanna, they just seemed the MOST relevant, however, Lisa seems very honest and straight forward, SO they are all tied for my MOST fave!! I also didn’t like Ana at first, BUT she’s really starting to grow on me: her intelligence AND motherly nurturing (exceptional cook) is extremely commendable AND her beginning this NEW chapter in life!
    Now, Adriana AND Lea are just these butt buddy, mean girl, trainwrecks, that I find comic relief in weekly! Lea is just a bitch, she NEVER thinks before she speaks, so her dumbass comes off like a malicious, bully!! Shes the oldest (56? That seems like an estimate ON the young side), I MEAN OBV she looks the part, YET She acts the MOST childish of them all!! AND Adriana is THEE trainwreck of this series AS She was in the first season. I mean she’s so low class, flirting with Romain and later in the season clocking Joanna, LIKE WTF?
    AND What does all this mean? Ana, Marysol, and Elsa are tied for my second faves! AND I’m not even going to comment on MISS Fake ass, beauty queen from 1975!?! AND Yeah that comment, “I know it’s not true; Rudolfo doesn’t like older women!” BITCH You’re older then him OBV AND She even looks OLDER then Ana! Like that bitch is straight delusional LIKE She really makes a point to learn these lies she instills in herself ON a regular basis, to a point at which, She even believes the shit she spews! She’s a sociopath!! PATHETIC!!!

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