RHOM Recap: Let’s Go to BiminyZzzzzzzzz…

Marysol: Um…  God, I hate confrontation.  But I can’t move my face to stop anyone…

“Stop, don’t, come back…”

That about sums it up!  Time for dinner!

Lisa, Karen’t and Joanna have already been at dinner for over an hour when the rest of the women show up.  The three look so willowy and skinny standing together that all I can think is that they’re not going to be able to withstand the hurricane of bitchy that’s heading their way.  They really don’t stand a chance…

Dinner goes by mostly without a hitch.  The girls force shots down Lea’s throat, and, to quote Marysol, Lea takes them like a pro, despite claiming she’s never been drunk.  Hey, just ‘cause you don’t drink that much don’t mean you can’t swallow with the best of’em.

  How do you think she got those earrings?  That’s her DAY jewelry! 

At dinner, Lea asks Karen’t if she’s made any decisions regarding Rodolpho since the ladies’ convo that afternoon.  Karen’t’s a little taken aback that Lea would mention something they discussed in private at a dinner attended by a bunch of women Karen’t doesn’t trust, and that is because Karen’t doesn’t know Lea that well.  Karen’t, you should ask Marysol about the kind of racist jokes you’ll probably hear when you and Rodolpho inevitably implode.

The other ladies want to confront Karen’t at dinner because… why not?  Marysol shuts them all down, insisting that they’ll look hella bitchy – THAT’S BECAUSE YOU ARE.  Adriana rolls her eyes and interviews that there’s never a good time to tell a woman she’s being dicked around by a Mexican Soap Star.  Eh, kinda true.  But there are better places than IN PUBLIC and ON TV.  Lea, feeling her two shots enough to start lettin’ the Texas out demands that the women start entertaining her with things she doesn’t know.  I feel like this is Joanna and Lisa’s opportunity to start talking about how alcohol makes sex with gross, but necessary dudes SO much easier, but instead Joanna starts talking about where she and Romain are in their relationship.  Guess what?  They still don’t have a wedding date.  Next!

  Can I have more blue stuff?  You guys wanna make out a little bit?

Lisa mentions that she hasn’t “worked” (and even she puts that in quotes – ha!) in four years and she feels like she’s losing her identity.  I would worry about that, too, babe.  If you lose your identity as a Playboy Bunny and gain one as a bisexual housewife that fools around with your housekeeper, Lenny might start to stray…

Marysol’s asked about her love life, and she’s still trying to figure out if she wants to work things out with her ex or if she should just move toward divorce.  She Eeyores about how she doesn’t know if she feels IN love or JUST love or nothing, and Iladksfj;alksjaak;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;.  Oh!  Sorry, I fell asleep for a second.  And I woke up just in time for Lea to get another shot.  “I don’t wan another shhhot!”  Lea’s wasted, y’all!  I love it!