RHOM Recap: Parent/Housewife Conferences


At Lisa’s, Lenny’s parents, Marina and Anatoly, arrive to spend some quality time with their son while Lisa’s away in Biminy.  Lisa and Marina – they are not the best of friends.  Given Marina’s commitment to showering affection on Lisa’s dogs, Lisa’s housekeeper, Lisa’s fireplace, Lisa’s fridge, but not Lisa, I have a feeling she and Anatoly might be in town to talk Lenny into a fabulous mail order bride with good birthing hips.  Catch my drift?

 Oh, I just love your sconces.  They will remain when you leave, yes?

Speaking of unwelcome guests, Marysol’s invited Elaine to the office (witnesses) to work out their differences.  There is no way this ends well.  Marysol literally warns her staff of Elaine’s imminent arrival like he’s a wrestler on PCP, and I can’t blame her.  He’s certainly dressed like one.

And in case you didn’t know he was a big ‘ol queen, his first priorities are to display his Gucci tablet and clean lipstick off his teeth for like, ten minutes.  Oh, and when I said “tablet,” I meant one made of paper.  It probably costs more than an iPad, though, what with the “Gucci” on the front.  The conversation that ensues is basically a calmer version of one the two have had before, but this time with Marysol coming in from an apologetic place right off the bat.  As I’ve learned in my 20+ years of existence, that rarely gets one anywhere, and it doesn’t get Marysol very far.  She apologizes for letting their issues get to such a boiling point, and Elaine accepts.  Then it’s back to frigging Lisa Pliner.  Elaine wants Marysol to admit she tried to coerce Lisa into using Lauren for the event as a way to screw with him.  Marysol, and I’m inclined to believe her, says that Lisa mentioned that she wanted to use Elaine, but she didn’t want to spend a lot of money, and over the course of a few conversations, Marysol suggested Lisa use Lauren free of charge.  Oy, this women and their drag dolls.  The Elaine Doll has better hair, but the Lauren Doll has better clothes – which one do YOU want?

Elaine keeps insisting that Marysol suggested Lauren to dick him out of work, and Marysol keeps trying to convey that it wasn’t nearly as calculated.  Elaine starts spouting off nonsense about truth setting people free and only when Marysol admits what she’s done can they move forward, and I cannot think of a time when I’ve heard someone beg MORE for insults.  At that point, I would’ve thrown up my hands and shouted, “Yes!  I hate you!  I’ve been trying to destroy you for months, but, like the human cold sore you are, you keep coming back!  Wanna move the fuck forward, now?” #goodwaystogetpeopletoleave

Marysol doesn’t do that, she just keeps apologizing until Elaine loses interest.  It looks like things might be calmer between them for the foreseeable future, but who knows what Biminy will bring?  Commercial!

About

Alejandra lives in Los Angeles and is an actor/writer/producer of opinions.  She loves the beach, but never goes, and hates reality stars, but follows them religiously.  In addition to TVGasm, you can read her writing at the online magazine DigN2It, or various fanfiction websites if you're industrious enough to find her.  If you're not industrious at all, a bottle of fine wine will always be an acceptable bribe.

8 Comments

  1. 1
    Polk8dot
    Posted December 2, 2012 at 7:43 am

    - Adriana gets more grating with each episode. Her constant moaning about ‘lack of trust’ etc. is seriously making me gag by now. It seems to be the ONLY thing she has going for a storyline, and I think she’s milked that cow dry!
    - I want to be as awesome as Ana in my next life. I’ll do without her nasty, spoiled daughters, though.
    - Joanna is just simply useless. I do not buy for a minute the explanation her mom gave as a root of her issues. I spent my younger years (12-24) raising my brother and sister (6 and 8 years younger, respectively), after my father died suddenly and my mom checked-out physically and emotionally for the next decade. I ran the household, cooked, shopped, cleaned, keept the whole thing from falling apart and the kids from sliding into ‘bad society’. All while making sure they finished their education as I pressed on with mine. All 3 of us grew up to be proud, productive members of society, hard working and dedicated to our families. The life’s trials were many, for all of us, yet none have turned to alcoholism, dushbaggery and asshole-ry. I totally sympathize with Joanna, but she was given sooooo much more than an average person in her situation, by being beautiful and able to build her future on that. I think there is a serious kink in her personality, which also resonates in Marta’s, that momma Jola does not want to see and acknowledge. They might have had a hard childhood, but the problems they face now, being spoiled, lazy and entitled, make me think that they are well versed in guilting mom (and everyone else who falls for it) into getting their way. But since life does not work that way, at least not all the time, their true selves get the spotlight a lot. Sometimes there is just no explanation for being a self-absorbed, drunkard asshole.
    - Lea – ‘I can deal with a lot but I CAN’T deal with a pompous ass’. This woman is SOOOOO FAKE it amazes me she has any true friends (wonder how quick they’d run for the hills had she lost the husband and his money).
    - Lisa – there is just something so WRONG about her marriage, and her inlaws’ treatment of her. It kind of reinforces my suspicion of the marriage being one of convenience. As in, Lenny needed to get his parents of his back without compromising the secrets of his private life (I can’t be the only one whose gay-dar rings high on him), so he made an agreement with Lisa for an equal exchange – my money, house, etc. for a baby or two, and no eye on my indescretions. That’s the ONLY reason I can imagine for his being ‘insensitive and hurtful’ to her over lack of kids. (It is also possible that the whole arrangement was only in Lenny’s head, and she was never made aware ot if – though I doubt it – in which case I’d really feel sorry for her).
    - Karen’t – BWAHAHAHAHAHA! The level of denial and delusion on that one is just mind blowing!

  2. 2
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted December 2, 2012 at 8:54 am

    Frederic’s got the world’s awesomest TV parents. Unless they were actors he hired to get Adriana to change her mind about marriage.

    I wonder if we’re being set up for a season finale where she either finally decides to quit letting that scumbag piece of trash sperm donor run her life. And tells Frederic he can go ahead and propose. So Bravo he rents 1 of Lea’s extra private islands and the set design dept gets a mess of art school kids that’ll work for portfolio points chops off around the edges to make it shaped like a heart and covers the whole thing with like a foot petals pulled off of whatever her favorite rose is.

    So he finishes fixing up the boat and rides her out there in it. And she thinks is the most amazing boat she ever saw. Then they have the cheesiest proposal scene in reality tv history.

    Where it turns out Frederic secretly bought the President Vargas diamond when he met Adriana. (Which is also how come they’re going to have to live on a boat) And has been carrying it around in his pocket. Just waiting for her to at least agree to get engaged.

    So they start back for Miami to tell the rest of the Real Housewives. With Adriana all happy for once. But then like 20 min later she realizes it’s really a boat. And isn’t going to turn into a house just because she’s putting mascara on.

    So she ends up getting mad and dumping his ass.

  3. 3
    labowner
    Posted December 3, 2012 at 10:35 am

    Polk8dot I thought there was something fishy about Lenny/Lisa. (Anyone watch Shameless?)
    Maybe Lisa cries a little too much whoa is me because she doesn’t have anything to do. Maybe Lenny is a little tired of her whining when she has nothing to complain about. Have we been told they both their systems work? Maybe Lisa’s body is secretly rejecting Lenny? The mind is a powerful thing. Oh and why are they selling the house? Might there be trouble in paradise?

    Anyone notice Lenny’s mom (russian) was complaining about O’Bama wanting to share everything? So rich.

    Frederic’s parents were amazing and way too good for this show.

    Lea was being inappropriate all over the show. Don’t want to talk about Marysol behind her back, but no problems talking about Ana? Ana you are too good for this show, but please don’t go until after Bimini.

    Marysol – why not show the texts you keep claiming you have and get this over with?

  4. 4
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted December 3, 2012 at 5:34 pm

    Damn, you guys make such good points there’s not much else to say!

    I, too, am soooo over Adriana. And Lea’s a giant two faced FAKE. And James/Elaine needs to STFU and leave Marysol alone, but Marysol needs to quit being a coward. And Ana is waaaay too good for this show. And there really is something *off* about Lenny (and if he’s truly being anything but kind and sympathetic to Lisa someone needs to tear his balls off and feed them to him). And Karen’t is so delusional it’s almost [almost] sad. And Joanna and Marta need to grow the eff up and take some responsibility for their actions.

    Yup.

  5. 5
    Tiger
    Posted December 4, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    It’s easy to be hard on James /Elaine but most people get pretty perturbed when someone starts fricking with there income.

  6. 6
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted December 5, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    @Tiger: Excellent point, except that I don’t believe for one nanosecond that Marysol actually committed as heinous a “crime” as James/Elaine believes lol. I instead believe the awesome and most fabulous I-Can-Not-Recall-Her-Name who identified Elaine as a big fat liar with the propensity to exaggerate :-)

    BTW Alejandra I totally forgot to compliment your “Family Tradition”! That rocks. Ours is a very loud and annoying stuffed Santa that booms out “Ho ho ho” and then Christmas music when you walk in front of him, scaring the shit out of passersby.

  7. 7
    labowner
    Posted December 5, 2012 at 2:58 pm

    Sorry Tiger, who in their right mind is mad about something that happened over 2 years ago? Oh a drama queen that is trying to get a spot on a lucrative franchise. Unless James has concrete proof, he is damaging Marysol’s reputation as much as he is claiming she is ruining hers, if not more as she has a real company.

  8. 8
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted December 6, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    labowner: Hear, hear! Excellent point about James/Elaine wanting a more permanent position.

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