Joanna interviews that she’s done everything Romain’s asked when it comes to fixing their relationship, so she doesn’t understand why he hasn’t set a date. Because it’s probably been less than a week since an incident. Let him get used to some damn peace and quiet.
Someone who knows how to be a good trophy wife? Lisa. She’s invited a bunch of people over to meet Lenny’s parents and to partake in a “seder,” a “Jewish feast that marks the beginning of Passover.” Very good, Lisa. See? She can read, Marina.
All the mamas are in attendance, and watching them talk politics is like what I imagine the UN would be like if Andy Cohen executive produced. Elsa calls Obama an animal, Marina poo-poos all this “sharing” he wants to do, and Yolanta respectfully declines to participate. Elsa drinks some wine, pronounces the world to be “falling apart,” and then it’s time for dinner! THESE women need their own show.
At dinner, Lisa amuses Marina by standing up and toasting America, the country in general. She explains that everyone at the table is an immigrant, and America made it possible for them to succeed. What do she and Lenny talk about? Ever? What’s gonna happen when everything sags and her implants are holding on for dear life? I’m starting to see why she’s desperate to have a kid…
And it’s not pretty.
Commercial!
We get back and it’s time for Jean-Pierre and Suzanne’s anniversary party. Suzanne is wearing vintage Dior, you know, because he was a close, personal friend of hers. Would you like to know the difference between France and America, Gasmii? Here you go!
This is what they revere.
And this is us.
On a quick side trip to Ana’s, Robert shows up to get his laundry, and Ana insults his hair, so pretty much business as usual. I do give them credit for seeming to pull off a very amicable, albeit extended divorce. They seem to genuinely get along. I can’t tell if it’s because Ana’s a million times smarter than Robert, so he doesn’t notice when her insults fly over his head, or if it’s because they are, as Ana says they are, best friends. Not best friends enough for Robert to bring his girlfriend over to visit, though. That’s more on his end, though. He’s genuinely and rightly terrified that Ana would eat this chick for lunch, and now that’s the only thing I want to see more than Biminy – make it happen, Bravo!!
Back at Adriana’s party, everything is love and light and good behavior, and it actually looks like a party I’d want to tell people I attended. Not invited? Lisa, Joanna, and Karen’t. That Adriana’s no rumdum. Lea, Alexia and Frederic all gush over the couple and wonder aloud when it’ll be Adriana and Frederic’s turn. Adriana blathers on about her trust issues some more, but finally shuts up long enough to dress like a Brazilian dancer and shake various parts of her body… in celebration of someone else’s marriage. Well, no evening is perfect.
If you like it, spread it!:
8 Comments
- Adriana gets more grating with each episode. Her constant moaning about ‘lack of trust’ etc. is seriously making me gag by now. It seems to be the ONLY thing she has going for a storyline, and I think she’s milked that cow dry!
- I want to be as awesome as Ana in my next life. I’ll do without her nasty, spoiled daughters, though.
- Joanna is just simply useless. I do not buy for a minute the explanation her mom gave as a root of her issues. I spent my younger years (12-24) raising my brother and sister (6 and 8 years younger, respectively), after my father died suddenly and my mom checked-out physically and emotionally for the next decade. I ran the household, cooked, shopped, cleaned, keept the whole thing from falling apart and the kids from sliding into ‘bad society’. All while making sure they finished their education as I pressed on with mine. All 3 of us grew up to be proud, productive members of society, hard working and dedicated to our families. The life’s trials were many, for all of us, yet none have turned to alcoholism, dushbaggery and asshole-ry. I totally sympathize with Joanna, but she was given sooooo much more than an average person in her situation, by being beautiful and able to build her future on that. I think there is a serious kink in her personality, which also resonates in Marta’s, that momma Jola does not want to see and acknowledge. They might have had a hard childhood, but the problems they face now, being spoiled, lazy and entitled, make me think that they are well versed in guilting mom (and everyone else who falls for it) into getting their way. But since life does not work that way, at least not all the time, their true selves get the spotlight a lot. Sometimes there is just no explanation for being a self-absorbed, drunkard asshole.
- Lea – ‘I can deal with a lot but I CAN’T deal with a pompous ass’. This woman is SOOOOO FAKE it amazes me she has any true friends (wonder how quick they’d run for the hills had she lost the husband and his money).
- Lisa – there is just something so WRONG about her marriage, and her inlaws’ treatment of her. It kind of reinforces my suspicion of the marriage being one of convenience. As in, Lenny needed to get his parents of his back without compromising the secrets of his private life (I can’t be the only one whose gay-dar rings high on him), so he made an agreement with Lisa for an equal exchange – my money, house, etc. for a baby or two, and no eye on my indescretions. That’s the ONLY reason I can imagine for his being ‘insensitive and hurtful’ to her over lack of kids. (It is also possible that the whole arrangement was only in Lenny’s head, and she was never made aware ot if – though I doubt it – in which case I’d really feel sorry for her).
- Karen’t – BWAHAHAHAHAHA! The level of denial and delusion on that one is just mind blowing!
Frederic’s got the world’s awesomest TV parents. Unless they were actors he hired to get Adriana to change her mind about marriage.
I wonder if we’re being set up for a season finale where she either finally decides to quit letting that scumbag piece of trash sperm donor run her life. And tells Frederic he can go ahead and propose. So
Bravohe rents 1 of Lea’s extra private islands andthe set design dept gets a mess of art school kids that’ll work for portfolio pointschops off around the edges to make it shaped like a heart and covers the whole thing with like a foot petals pulled off of whatever her favorite rose is.So he finishes fixing up the boat and rides her out there in it. And she thinks is the most amazing boat she ever saw. Then they have the cheesiest proposal scene in reality tv history.
Where it turns out Frederic secretly bought the President Vargas diamond when he met Adriana. (Which is also how come they’re going to have to live on a boat) And has been carrying it around in his pocket. Just waiting for her to at least agree to get engaged.
So they start back for Miami to tell the rest of the Real Housewives. With Adriana all happy for once. But then like 20 min later she realizes it’s really a boat. And isn’t going to turn into a house just because she’s putting mascara on.
So she ends up getting mad and dumping his ass.
Polk8dot I thought there was something fishy about Lenny/Lisa. (Anyone watch Shameless?)
Maybe Lisa cries a little too much whoa is me because she doesn’t have anything to do. Maybe Lenny is a little tired of her whining when she has nothing to complain about. Have we been told they both their systems work? Maybe Lisa’s body is secretly rejecting Lenny? The mind is a powerful thing. Oh and why are they selling the house? Might there be trouble in paradise?
Anyone notice Lenny’s mom (russian) was complaining about O’Bama wanting to share everything? So rich.
Frederic’s parents were amazing and way too good for this show.
Lea was being inappropriate all over the show. Don’t want to talk about Marysol behind her back, but no problems talking about Ana? Ana you are too good for this show, but please don’t go until after Bimini.
Marysol – why not show the texts you keep claiming you have and get this over with?
Damn, you guys make such good points there’s not much else to say!
I, too, am soooo over Adriana. And Lea’s a giant two faced FAKE. And James/Elaine needs to STFU and leave Marysol alone, but Marysol needs to quit being a coward. And Ana is waaaay too good for this show. And there really is something *off* about Lenny (and if he’s truly being anything but kind and sympathetic to Lisa someone needs to tear his balls off and feed them to him). And Karen’t is so delusional it’s almost [almost] sad. And Joanna and Marta need to grow the eff up and take some responsibility for their actions.
Yup.
It’s easy to be hard on James /Elaine but most people get pretty perturbed when someone starts fricking with there income.
@Tiger: Excellent point, except that I don’t believe for one nanosecond that Marysol actually committed as heinous a “crime” as James/Elaine believes lol. I instead believe the awesome and most fabulous I-Can-Not-Recall-Her-Name who identified Elaine as a big fat liar with the propensity to exaggerate
BTW Alejandra I totally forgot to compliment your “Family Tradition”! That rocks. Ours is a very loud and annoying stuffed Santa that booms out “Ho ho ho” and then Christmas music when you walk in front of him, scaring the shit out of passersby.
Sorry Tiger, who in their right mind is mad about something that happened over 2 years ago? Oh a drama queen that is trying to get a spot on a lucrative franchise. Unless James has concrete proof, he is damaging Marysol’s reputation as much as he is claiming she is ruining hers, if not more as she has a real company.
labowner: Hear, hear! Excellent point about James/Elaine wanting a more permanent position.