RHOM Recap: Season Two Finale!

Recaps

By Alejandra | Saturday, December 22, 2012 | 10:00 am | 8 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Real Housewives of Miami, Recaps

And holy shit… it’s not just Alex’s recital.  It’s a duet.

This whole thing just got a helluva lot creepier. 

I can’t decide what’s worse – the amount of décolletage or the fact that it’s sitting next to something that used to suck on it.

Adriana interviews that really, all she wants is someone to love.  After the recital, Frederic and Adriana tell Alex that they’re finally going to get married and move onto the boat – yay!  And Alex gets to live in the basement or “hold” of said boat!  Alex, if possible, looks both nonchalant and annoyed at his impending future that includes a new father with a shaved chest and a new home with a motor.

Simultaneously, Joanna and Romain engage in one of the most over-produced, staged moments I’ve seen on a Housewives franchise, yet.  She comes home to rose petals everywhere, and Romain all dressed up and French, looking smoldering as only ze French men can…  He re-proposes to her, this time not with one diamond, but a whole strand of them!  Smart man.  The proposal (and yet another apology for the ancient e-mails of betrayal) is exactly the move Joanna’s been waiting for from Romain.  She says yes yes yes and they set a date for next spring.  I guess you kinda had to be there, but for a Polish supermodel and a French nightclub owner, they pulled off Mexican Soap Opera really well.

In less happy-go-lucky pastures, Ana and Robert finally sign their divorce papers.  This shit looks waaaay more genuine than the respective marriage announcements we just saw.  Either I’m a little cynical about the survival rate of love on reality television, or I’ve just been on a plane all day and happiness now offends me.  In any case, Ana breaks down like she did in Biminy, and all Robert does is make fun of her and rolls his eyes about how she can be sad about something that’s been coming for two years.  He finally badgers her into signing and initialing, and once that’s done (SIGH), Shitface and Urinetown pop in and the older one starts making fun of her mother for crying at the end of her 23 year marriage.  Kati actually earned her name back by showing concern for her mother, sweetly telling Robert and Urinetown to leave their mother alone.  Ana interviews that Robert makes light of things in an effort to make HER feel less emotional.  Absolutely. 

  It is not because THIS MAN is an asshole. 

In other asshole breakups, Marysol decides it’s time to have yet MORE drinks and yet MORE discussions about their failed marriage.  I wish I could go into more detail about the whole thing, but I couldn’t stop paying attention to the fact that Phillippe’s face looks like a penis with uneven facial hair.  Whatever, it seems like they’re in a good place.  And by good place, I mean fuckbuddies.   The grossest fuckbuddies ever to have buddyfucked.

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About

Alejandra lives in Los Angeles and is an actor/writer/producer of opinions.  She loves the beach, but never goes, and hates reality stars, but follows them religiously.  In addition to TVGasm, you can read her writing at the online magazine DigN2It, or various fanfiction websites if you're industrious enough to find her.  If you're not industrious at all, a bottle of fine wine will always be an acceptable bribe.

8 Comments

  1. 1
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted December 22, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    @Alejandra You get major props for doing so good on this! Specially since you’ve had to carry a lot of the load by yourself. Without much help from all those extra cast members that aren’t even Mama Elsa.

    This show’s going to win the Guinness world record for being the 1st time nobody’s said they can’t wait for the reunion in Real Housewives history.

    I don’t think it’s creepy for people to play a duet with their mom. What was creepy was how random it was. You’re right it looked like somebody else was directing. Did Alex win a prize? Lose a bet? Did we even know he played the piano? You’d think Adriana’d build it up more than Gretchen singing with the Pussy Cat Dolls. But unless I dozed off more than I think I did they never explained WTF was going on. It didn’t look like a regular kid’s recital. Which is supposed to be in some old lady’s living room. Not a fancy hired hall with a bright colored evening dress on.

    I thought the Joanna proposal scene with her dress matching the flowers was 100% telenovela fan produced too. Down to the stylists.

    I ended up feeling the sorriest of all for Lisa. When she said she might lose her husband if she couldn’t have a baby. There’s no way that can have a good outcome. For obvious reasons if it’s true. But what if he really loves her? How’s he going to feel hearing that?

    But I’m disappointed in Adriana. What about Fredric? What’d Fredric do to deserve a life sentence with somebody that settled for him?

    LOL I just noticed that I sound like I’ve got more sympathy for the boys in the cast. Which is another 1st ever time in Real Housewives history event.

    Just those 2 though. Like most people I knew Rodolfo was Karent’s Walter. Even before this season of RHOA started and it got to be a generic term. And Karent’s just the Miami version of Kenya. I’m suspicious Miss Andy made a new rule. And now every Real Housewives has to have somebody that won a beauty contest. To ca$h in on the pageant craze.

    I was suspcious of Marysol and Philipe in season 1. It didn’t seem like to me she was that into him. Remember how the main thing she wanted for her wedding was a photo shoot in the snow? So I think it was more of a business situation than a love marriage to begin with.

    That got me to wondering if Lea making that green card crack twice was producer driven. And all the drama about past galas too. To give Marysol a story line. As an excuse to keep Mama Elsa.

    It’d be way easier to just make Mama Elsa the Housewife. So my guess is they tried. But she’s didn’t want to have to shoot that many hrs. And isn’t that desperate for $. I bet she gets close to what she’d get anyway. Since she’s the reason people watch it.

  2. 2
    Jane and Blanche Jane and Blanche
    Posted December 22, 2012 at 2:37 pm

    I have NEVER been left feeling more confused from a housewives finale leading to the reunion show before! WTF? It’s like the commercials for the reunion are from a totally different show than we’ve been watching.

  3. 3
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted December 23, 2012 at 2:53 pm

    Holy anticlimactic, Batman!

    About the only interesting thing this episode brought was the producers’ lame attempts at humor in the ending “story board” thing-a-ma-bobs and this recap. Love!

  4. 4
    realhousewivesfan
    Posted December 24, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    I Hope they drop Ana i just can’t stand her. Karent is nice to look at in full make up but she’s a non personality with a fake storyline who only wants FAME. get Rid of Her!! Alexia’s storyline should have been about her child as a full housewife since she was at every event anyhow. Did not find Elaine cool in anyway not even for drama purposes, but i don’t blame producers for that loose train, he/she should have been FUN and friendly, I’v seen him perform with Leah and they’re cute! He needed to be the fun gay drag queen sidekick, not the bully. I liked Joanna and her fiance, too bad they couldn’t make it work. But i think If Joanne want’s to continue next season she’ll have to Rent/Purchase a place. She is still good t.v. So my MAIN come backs need to be Joanna, Adriana, Leah, Lisa.

  5. 5
    labowner
    Posted December 26, 2012 at 9:50 am

    No mention of how James/Elaine just shows up to the party to perform? This whole season was about drama between Marysol and James and in one fell swoop Bravo sweeps it together as if we are too stupid to remember.

    And what in the hell is going on at the reunion? I thought Adriana and Joanna were okay with each other.

    I loved Ana for being the normal voice of reason with some great one-liners.

    Can ‘t wait for the dueling spring weddings. Who has more clout in Miami and which side will Lea be on?

    Lisa what is wrong with you that you feel the need to construct another monstrosity of a house? The one you live in is hideous, please don’t add more garbage to the skyline.

  6. 6
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted December 26, 2012 at 11:38 am

    I feel awful that Karen’t seemed to believe that story from Rodolfo. Like really so he’s pulled this publicity stunt bit more than once and you believed it?!!?!? I don’t really care for her but I hope that she finds love.

    @Labowner remember on WWHL when Adriana called in and her and Joanna had a screaming match, so they are definitely not friendly.

    While Adriana’s dress was very pretty it was NOT appropriate for a child’s recital…unless that child was practicing it’s pole dancing.

    The season started out with promise but seemed to fall flat in the end.

    The dress Lisa has on at the party is the same dress Marysol has on in her bobble head interviews.

  7. 7
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted December 27, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    @Classy Drunk I know right? If you do a duet with a little kid it’s supposed to show them off. Not you. They even had her sitting on the side facing the audience. I still can’t figure out what event it was supposed to be. Usually if any of them are going to be onstage or something they talk about it for wks.

  8. 8
    Cherie Cherie
    Posted December 30, 2012 at 10:04 am

    Could someone please put a muzzle on Adrianna? That bitch has rabies. Even when she has a point about something you can’t make it out because she’s too busy frothing at the mouth and repeating herself over and over. Shut the bitch up and get her a spit shield!

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