In the Bravo fake-out segment, Brown Smurf compares Lauren to the unsinkable Molly Brown, of Titanic fame. In other words, he calls her fat and loud. Well, not untrue but not exactly a compliment either.
And in back at the wedding, Brown Smurf is piling up his plate with tons of food. Chris Laurita makes sure to make note of it. Gay Sidekick fetches everyone drinks, lemonades with a splash of vodka. Then Ter announces that she just received a text that her book is on the NY Times bestseller list, and thanks her “family”for their support.
“Can anyone have anything?” Caro moans. Ter paws the Brown Smurf who tells her “you know I can’t make love when I’m full.” Jamie makes another sappy speech, and everyone boogies down.
At the Gorgas,it’s lots of drunk people in the pool while their kids watch. Mel informs us that she and Midge are the masters of keeping things “sexy but classy”. Let’s review the evidence.
Note small child cowering in fear.
Another child scarred for life. But in a sexy / classy way. And what’s more sanitary than whipped cream in the pool?
Yup, nothing says sexy, classy party like individual whipped cream cans.
I can’t believe the storyline’s down to me talking these jackasses into therapy.
And speaking of therapy, well let’s speak about it. Ter drags Jacquee over to some buddha to have the big conversation.
Ter is insistent on not going to therapy. Jacquee is sick and tired of hearing about it. Jacquee conveniently forgets all the time we were stuck listening to her Moonface drama, but she’s right. We are all tired of this circle and I vow to you if it lands in a therapist’s office all hell will break loose. In the recap.
Then they let some heat lamp balloons loose into the atmosphere which will surely set global warming like 15 years ahead.
Destroying the environment with our love!
And then it’s picture time, and time for Jamie to remind Brown Smurf that he looks like his first boyfriend. Everyone gives high and mighty speeches about accepting people for who they are. There are fireworks. And then we see previews for next week, when there is finally a showdown. Looks like it all goes down in someone’s backyard.
I mean, finally! Until then…Kisses, CB