RHONJ Recap: Solstice Showdown

Recaps

By ChickBomb | Wednesday, May 9, 2012 | 5:41 pm | 51 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Real Housewives of New Jersey, Recaps

But there’s a flaw in the argument – according to Mel, when he first heard the comment he came home and cried. Well, if he’s so secure why would he cry, asks Ter. And there’s another flaw, cause we all saw the genesis of THE GOLDDIGGER COMMENT in the Gorga’s favorite place, the closet.  Unless that was…staged? 

Back at the party, Caroline sighs that Teresa will step on anyone’s head. But she’s totally staying out of it. In the parking lot, Mel is desperately trying to convince Ter that she could never get better than Midge, so why would she do anything to ruin it? “You’re right, you are lucky to have my brother!” yells Teresa, focusing only on Mel not being good enough for Midge and ignoring the fact that Mel is basically agreeing with her. They go back and forth about ten times, each time proclaiming the same thing, that Mel couldn’t do better than Midge.

That’s right. The next five minutes of this argument consists of them seeing who can agree the loudest.

What’s really standing out to me, is that for all the nonsense Ter puts Mel through – and you know I love Ter’s baby hamster brain, but she’s out of control with her sister-in-law – Mel has never really engaged. Of course there was plenty of off-camera engaging, but we haven’t seen her fight back, until now. Clearly, we are not to mess with Mel’s marriage and I really like that.

She flat out asks Teresa if she’s trying to make them get a divorce. This is your brother and your nieces and nephews, she reminds Ter. Does she want it all to fall apart? Well, yeah, of course she does. Ter is miserable and your beautiful life is doing nothing to help matters. They talk about bringing the family together, and Mel, disgusted tells Teresa to do it. “I’m trying!” yells Ter. Of course, that’s what all the jokes in THE COOKBOOK were about.

Mel says that Ter wants to pinch people and then pretend she didn’t’ do anything. “Be the tough girl you came to be and apologize,” she demands of Ter. Ter stares at her defiantly. “Apologize!” shouts Mel, “That’s my husband!” I actually feel sorry for her. I think it’s pretty clear how much she loves Midge and I think it sucks that she has to defend to Teresa what she shows in all her actions.

“So what?” Ter sneers. And now it’s time to argue about the apology. Mel says that she’s trying to find logic in anything Ter is saying and she can’t. So she tells her to just stay out of her marriage. “Well, tell your husband,” Ter snaps back. “Tell your brother yourself!” screams Mel. Wait, tell him what? I am so confused but in a totally awesome way.

And now it’s time to bring the kids into things! Why not? We’re already having a smackdown in the parking lot, why not take it all the way down to the gutter. Mel accuses Ter of not giving little Joey a 1st birthday present. Man, this kid’s always in the thick of it. First, THE CHRISTENING, now this.

Well, we weren’t speaking then, says Teresa. Okay, well I see why the one year old should suffer for that. And Ter immediately turns it around to ask Mel why she’s always so worried about gifts. And then we learn that because of all the ickiness, Mel has been dropping off gifts for the Guidice kids at their pre-school, which according to Ter, Brown Smurf throws directly in the trash. How stupid. You could at least have re-gifted for little Joey, then maybe we wouldn’t be having this part of the fight.

Is everyone ready for the holy grail of stupidity? Cause now Ter tells Mel that she technically didn’t owe little Joey a birthday present because she never had a party or invited her for cake, so to blame Ter now just shows what kind of person Mel is.  Cool! So if I don’t have cake next year, I get to stay this age forever?

And after this sparkling gem, Ter decides it’s time to leave. But Mel is fully heated. “Run away coward, like you always do,” she taunts. Of course, Teresa bites. They shout a few “excuse me?”s and “excuse me!”s at each other, and then then, Ter gets in Mel’s face!

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51 Comments

  1. 1
    NatPatBen
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 8:29 pm

    Stellar recap!

    I do agree with Teresa’s main point, which she didn’t do a good job of articulating in the heat of the moment(s): if she gives her brother a sincere sister-to-brother warning about something, he shouldn’t share it with others.

  2. 2
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 12:00 am

    Oh Lord @ChickBomb! That was so funny I had to put Kleenex on my eyes! Before I even got to “raising the anti-Christ”!

    I can’t wait for the reunion! When Teresa finds out about Audriana Left Unattended in the middle of the street till Rosie went and got her!

    Not sure which Kim that was either. But if I remember my Kims correctly, they all look like a duck.

  3. 3
    mmkate
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 4:42 am

    @NatPatBen: I would never tell my brothers something like that unless I could say it to my SILs too. In fact, I would want my SIL to know I heard that stupid rumor, give her a fair shake in public, because I love and like my sisters in law. Tre doesn’t, that is why she told Midge to be mean. And it bit her. Most couples tell eachother shit like that, even if the original source is a sibling. Or in my case, a mother in law! Lol!

  4. 4
    Wasabipeas wasabipeas
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 5:37 am

    I agree MMKate!

  5. 5
    Poopsicle
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 5:57 am

    When it comes to Tre vs. Melissa, I agree with Melissa. I want to give Teresa a pass for being such a moron, but Melissa had alot of good points. I don’t see anything wrong with Joe telling Melissa what Teresa said, but he never should of told EVERYBODY, but in the land of reality tv…
    Now Teresa vs. Cuntaline, Im team Teresa all the way. I despise Caroline,I can’t stomach that smarmy fuck anymore. Whenever theres a gang up thing going on, Caroline’s always in it. She got everybody against Danielle, now Teresa, hell even her own fat daughter! That saggy faced bitch is so bitter because she was supposed to be the star of the show. But watching a rich, boring ,ugly fambly just isn’t good tv. Those sons of hers have nothing going on, except being on a hit show. Albie is average at best, he’s balding, boring and his face always looks like he’s suffering from allergies. Chris-barf. As for Lauren, cry me a fat lazy fucking river. I’m so sick of people that gain weight then do nothing but cry about it and try to find quick fixes instead of working out. She has an awesome gym in her basement and she can’t walk down those steps 3x a week and use it? I don’t feel sorry for her at all with her weight problems, I only feel sorry for her because she has a cunt for a mother.
    While I do feel kind of bad for Teresa with everybody turning on her, I have to remember, this is exactly what Teresa wanted to happen to Melissa. So I guess she got some karma there.

  6. 6
    PlathAddict PlathAddict
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 6:15 am

    I don’t get why Teresa would expect Joe to keep something like that to himself. I mean it makes sense that he would tell his wife what Teresa said. I do think he was shit stirring by bringing it up on camera though.
    If Teresa told him that and expected him to keep it from his wife, it means that she would want him to stew silently and always wonder which would get him to start second guessing his marriage. And she knows that he is insecure enough to do just that. So, either way, her telling him that was definitely an intentional way of screwing with their marriage and all because she doesn’t like Melissa.

  7. 7
    hot cawfee
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 6:44 am

    Brown Smurf is using the greeting he learned when he “went to jail” no–”went away”-NO (yikes!!!) when he was “unattended”.

  8. 8
    Closet Fan
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 6:50 am

    Bravo Chick Bomb (lots of clapping) Bravo (more clapping) you ARE the BOMB! Awesome recap!

    1. In a million years and not for a million dollars will Teresa EVER admit that the GOLDIGGER COMMENT was wrong. There are certain truths that she is unable to process. Case in point… Audriana Left Unattended at THE CHRISTENING! We all saw it because Bravo filmed it, Audriana was very much left alone for a short time when all hell broke loose. I supposse it is possible that everytime Teresa has watched that episode she has to walk away from the TV at that exact moment to save one of the other A’s or the neighbors cat from Miliania.
    2. She truly believes that she can say anything to her brother about anyone or anything and because it was a “private” conversation it makes it okay. That brick wall she pointed to has a better chance of turning into a Bindi than Teresa admitting she said/did anything wrong.
    3. Either the comment to Jaq’s was the best editing ever as in editing gold (“that is just the kind of girl she is” where it APPEARS she is answering Jaq’s question about WHY she would say such a thing about her brother’s wife) or she really does think that and actualyl said it. If that is the case then so much for her the brotherly love she has for Joey.
    4. Yes Chick Bomb I too would love to know when the GOLDIGGER COMMENT was originally made because unless they cut it out I did NOT see Joey crying that night when he first told Melissa what he sister said. Is it possible that they staged that scene? On reality TV? It appears that is what happened so even though Teresa is 100% wrong for saying it, Melissa and Joey are then 200% wrong (100% for each of them equals 200%) for staging it for ratings.
    5. Did the rest of you notice the minigorgasim that Teresa had when Melissa answered that she did not know if Joey was home? I swear I thought Tre was going to light up a cigarette after that one.
    6. I love all of these woman on all of these reality shows that claim that they do not want any drama. Bitches, you are being paid to create drama! If you really want to be drama free quit the show like Dina did. Until then STFU!

  9. 9
    hot cawfee
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 6:55 am

    I thought Albie’s girl-friends name is George Glass?? bbwwwahhaahahhhahhhaaa

  10. 10
    cloudsinmycoffee
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 7:01 am

    Chris and Albie are such pampered douche bags. Seriously? Still picking on your sister? And while Lauren can be annoying as hell, I can see where the whininess stems from, ma. When the boys (sorry, my toddler is more a man by his actions) said that Lauren’s kids would look like koala bears with breathing problems, Caroline looked like she wanted to burst into laughter. Which I don’t get, because if someone says something to HURT HER FAMILY she loses her mind, but when her boys say something incredibly cruel, joke or not, to her daughter you give them a look like you want to laugh but you’re hiding it. Catch 22 much? Caroline’s an ass, and she so favors her sons, hell my husband was watching the show and even he was surprised at how obvious where her preferences lie. And of all people Caroline shouldn’t talk shit about weight, because she got herself a tummy band and some lipo (exercise my ass) and lost her extra fat too. And not to mention Al sr. because you’re ass was huge too, so why the hell pick on the girl? Great way to be supportive parents!

    I really want to root for Teresa, but her ignorance is getting annoying. Just come out and be honest about wanting to start shit. Just say it, and stop hiding behind the whole I want my brother to be happy. If he wants to stay with the karaoke singer, let it be! Worry over your own brown poop nugget of a husband. Methinks someone’s projecting about cheating onto her sister in law.

  11. 11
    Karen
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 7:19 am

    I think you nailed it on the head…Teresa wants Melissa to be as miserable as she is. Teresa’s marriage is horrid and she won’t stop until everyone around her shares the same fate. In all honesty Teresa is delusional and we should pity her like Kelly from New York. I think she has suffered a mental break along the way and this is the fall out. I also think she is “in love” with her brother and wants a husband like him. She wants him to keep secrets from his wife, always run to her rescue, and basically leave Melissa. She always talks about how CLOSE they were before Melissa and his kids…HELLO she WANTS HER BROTHER…sick delusional freak.

  12. 12
    hot cawfee
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 7:27 am

    Chicky– this was awesome !!!!! With every recap and comment, an angel gets her wings !!!!!

    To Melissa– you are old school– I like that too– “Stay out of my marriage”-(One of Mr Cawfee’s bitchy cousins tried to insert herself inside my marriage- I handled it.) And I know that mentality of “no cake, no gift” sigh…
    Just who is this Jolene person who got snotty with Rosie and skulked around the parking lot with Kim D??? Does she work at Posche?? or maybe the parking lot of Posche??
    Fast question– in Ter’s kitchen what the heck is that over the burners on her stove??? Is it a water spigot? Over the gas burners?? am confused.

    Open Letter to Lauren Manzo– Hon, Cawfee is on your side. Your mom is a bully-(yeah Caro I am saying it) and your brothers are losers who could not get laid in a geriatric whore house with a $50 bill. Now that being said–I love you standing up for yourself but watch the foul mouth–the remark about sucking ter’s a%$hole??? Unbecoming. You have a real issue with Teresa–it goes deeper than the Olive Garden comment—work on it.
    And Lauren–no more short cuts–no more. You worked so hard to get your make-up line going and then what?? You felt a “lack of respect” after one day and took everything and went home?? And what have you been doing since then?? Whining.
    Oh and lastly– Vito likes tall, athletic, older women?? Please– and just where is he meeting/having any sort of human contact with these women?? Don’t believe the hype doll– you are being sold a bill of goods (as my Great-Aunt would say).
    And Jaxx– wow–good drugs–she looks…blurry.

  13. 13
    hot cawfee
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 7:33 am

    @Closet– re-comment 5– bbwwwahhhaahhaaa–light a cig

  14. 14
    Closet Fan
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 7:52 am

    @hot cawfee How dare you!?! George and I have been together for years, even since he left that slut Jan for me.

  15. 15
    featherhead
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 7:56 am

    @hot cawfee – that’s a pot filler over her stove. It’s easier to fill a big pot with water at the stove instead of lugging it back and forth between the sink and the stove. It’s handy!!

    Lauren is really getting delusional. I want to be skinny and I want to be rich. I don’t want to work or anything, I just want to be rich. What an idiot!!

  16. 16
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 8:04 am

    I think that Teresa could have a confidential conversation like that with her brother if they were close and it was the beginning of the relationship. Now that she and her brother can barely be civil with each other and Melissa and Joe have been married for 7 years, of course Joe is going to tell his wife what Teresa said.

    Some how Teresa could not make sense of that and wants to believe that she and her brother are still as close as they once were.

    On to the baby sitting, I would have just turned that whole jug of wine to my face. Those children were all over the place.

    Caroline needs to be more supportive of her daughter. Walk with her, work out with her, help her lose the weight. Do not help her get on a juice diet. Losing the amount of weight she wants to is a life style change.

  17. 17
    fancyface
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 8:17 am

    Ummm….a few things. I don’t know if the way you recapped the beginning of the arguments and how they started was an oversight on your part or if you purposefully blamed them on Melissa while ignoring what really happened, but you missed what was actually said.

    1. The table ‘talk’….Teresa asked Jackie if Mel told her & when Jac didn’t come right out and answer her, she threw in the ‘how long have we been friends’ nonsense which prompted Jac to answer the question. THEN Ter started questioning her about HOW Mel told her & THAT’S when Jac went to get Mel so Ter can ask her for herself.
    2. Melissa didn’t come right out and mention jail or bankruptcy, TERESA did. She started the convo trying to justify her mag quote by saying it was true because Joey WASN’T there when Joe ‘went away’, at which time Melissa defended her husband by saying when Joey called to check on her after the bankruptcy story came out she shut him down which was the reason why he didn’t call when Joe went TO JAIL. THAT’S why Teresa lost her shit and stormed out because Mel said jail instead of ‘going away’. Melissa had every right to be confused because Ter is the one who brought it up first. She didn’t just sit down and drop the hammer like you described.
    3. That dumb ass fight in the parking lot had my head spinning because Ter wouldn’t stay on topic and she was just throwing out one thing after another to try to justify what she said. That’s why the fight jumped from bankruptcy, to jail, to presents, to reading messages, and back to the gold digger comment. She was trying to make something stick, and when it didn’t she tried something else.
    4. The gold digger comment was 1st brought up in the 1st epi when Joey & Teresa were talking @ the beach. Joey sat down to have a convo about the ‘not being there’ thing and once again, Teresa started throwing out random shit to make him look bad. In defense to something she accused him of, he did what they do best, play tit for tat, and brought up the comment she made to him about Mel leaving him as proof that Ter has said some jacked up shit to him about his wife too. He never said anything to Mel when it happened (which he should’ve imo). He only told Mel about it when he was telling her how the convo with Ter went @ the beach. So that’s where that came from. Teresa didn’t tell her brother that out of concern for his marriage, she said that shit in retaliation of Joey talking about Joe. So there goes that ‘brotherly concern’ bullshit she keeps sprouting. That shit was a dig. PERIOD.
    5. Now, the present thing. You said Melissa brought up Teresa not buying the baby a present 1st and once again, that’s not true. In response to Melissa saying she thought they were trying to fix this for the kids, Teresa, yet again, brought up something else to try to make her look bad. She said something like ‘oh really? but you buy my kids presents and take them to daycare instead of dropping them by the house’ or some shit like that. Mel then said she did that because she didn’t want the tension between them to stop her from being able to buy gifts for her nieces & at least she buys them present because Ter didn’t even buy her son a 1st birthday gift nor even acknowledge that it was his birthday. So, once again, Teresa threw out that petty shit 1st and then immediately accused Melissa of bringing it up.

    That bitch is nuts! Everything she was accusing Melissa of doing was what she was doing right before our eyes. You can’t say ‘see how that bitch brought up jail’ when you’re the one who started the convo off with it. You also can’t accuse her of bring up gifts and being materialistic when you brought that shit up 1st to try to make her look bad for taking gifts to daycare. WE WERE WATCHING YOU SAY THAT SHIT FIRST! Seriously, Teresa is bordering on Kelly crazy! She’s just making shit up for the hell of it. She’s completely delusional & I think she needs to remove herself from the spotlight before she really goes insane.

  18. 18
    TWhit
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 9:03 am

    A GUIDE TO KEEP THE KIMESES STRAIGHT:
    By TWhit

    Kim D – Could be for DePaola, or David Lee Roth.

    Kim G- Could be for Granatell, or Granny.

    After researching the upcoming Van Halen tour, I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt, that’s Kim D.

  19. 19
    Closet Fan
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 9:16 am

    @fancyface You are correct in saying that Teresa was the one that first brought up the buzz words/phrases going away (jail) and gifts. Melissa only followed her lead. Talk about trainwrecks and a complete lack of short term memory (not unlike another delusional mother from another show who has a Squid for a daughter), Teresa is certifiable. I am not a doctor but I think it is safe to assume that one completely loses their ability to remember what they just said while their mind is in the middle of a breakdown. Do you think that when she watches the show she has an Aha moment of clarity? Probably not huh. She was absolutely throwing shit out there hoping that something sticks. She jumped Melissa’s shit when Melissa continued the gift conversation that Teresa started. And what about the fact that Teresa said that Juicey THROWS the gifts out? Who does that? If I was Melissa I would have slapped the shit out of Tre after that comment. And Teresa who suppossedly loves her brother so much and wants them all to be close again allows Juicey to toss the gifts. That one comment above all others in this entire episode pissed the f off the most. If I was Melissa I would have walked away, called her husband and together end their relationship with Teresa and Juicey. I would get rid of THAT posion ASAP.

  20. 20
    Closet Fan
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 9:20 am

    @TWhit Also, Kim “D” for duck lips. Did you see those things? Does she get those things filled weekly? Does she not own a mirror? She must not have one real friend because a real friend would tell her to lay of the juice.

  21. 21
    Sugarbush Joy_Subtraction
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 9:21 am

    I have three sisters-in-law and I only like/love one of them. The other two are horrible c-words and have awful relationships with their husbands. I’ve had one single chat with my brother about how I truly feel about his “wife”. I took my one shot and did it. It didn’t feel good, but I got to tell him because she treats him like a giant piece of crap. She’s a psychopath. I know my brother didn’t go tell her, but if he had I wouldn’t care. She’s lucky I haven’t knocked her out already. Here’s my thing, though. I tell my husband everything and he tells me everything. Anything my brothers would say to me about my husband, I would tell him. But, my brothers love my husband because he’s awesome. If my brother-in-law said anything to my husband about me, he would tell me. My husband and I have a really great relationship. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law do not and that SIL does her best to try to make me look like shit. She’s sort of like Theresa, but isn’t quite yet in bankruptcy – just repos. My point is starting to seem like the argument between Tree and Mel…yikes. Anyway, my point is that if you have a good relationship with your spouse, you ought to be able to tell them anything and everything. That should be expected. If Tree didn’t want Joey saying anything to Mel, then she shouldn’t have said it at all.

    I hope Rosie doesn’t become one of the hens. I love her as a regular character, but I love her as she is. I like her quips – not her putting her nose where it doesn’t belong.

    Mel most certainly isn’t innocent, but I can tell that she loves her husband very much. All of these women on this show love their husbands very much and I really appreciate that since it’s so different from RHOC. Mel has bit her tongue with Tree and having a sister-in-law like Tree, I have to hand it to Mel. It’s REALLY HARD not saying anything. Really, really hard. Especially when the SIL is a total shit stirrer and likes to do little digs around the rest of the family trying to get you to react so you wind up looking like the asshole. I’m happy Mel finally stood up for herself. Maybe one day I’ll put my SIL in her place… Maybe if they’ll do Real Housewives of Lower-Middle Class Suburbia, I will.

  22. 22
    TWhit
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 9:23 am

    AND..KILLER…RECAP!!!

    That fight was epic. The stupid was just FLYING out of Teresa. I love how in the off camera interview she’s all “Who started this? MY BROTHER!” Couldn’t POSSIBLY have been Teresa running her mouth that did it. Oh no.

    I’m personally waiting for an UNATTENDED COOKBOOK WITH A GOLDDIGGER COMMMENT that will put the kabosh on this franchise.

  23. 23
    TWhit
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 9:25 am

    @closetfan – I will make that note in my next synopsis, in which I will focus on the Joes.

    I’ma call somebody Jose just ’cause.

  24. 24
    Mimo
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 9:46 am

    @hot cawfee Unattended. Bwahahahahahah LOVES IT.

    @ fancy face Great job on the timeline – but I thought Joe told Melissa about the “leave you for a richer man” comment in their closet before leaving for the shore? Maybe I’m confusing that with the golddigger comment (which I believe was right after Melissa joined the show).

    @everyone Lordy, but I do enjoy reading all your comments.

  25. 25
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 9:48 am

    In Atlanta they have a segment on a radio station called “Am I weird”.

    So I want to know, am I weird because when I see these girls with the duck lips on the show I instinctively pucker my lips out like a duck?

    My brother noticed I did it while watching Tamara and Alexis on RHOC and then I noticed I did it while watching Kim D (G, K, whatever the hell it is)

  26. 26
    TWhit
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 9:53 am

    I’m total comment hogging but JOY I LOVED YOURS! I’ve kinda had that problem myself – my brother, who I adored (not like Tre does Joe though..) married a bitch from hayell. Pretty much all we saw from them is when they had their hands out, and after the first “no”, they had nothing to do with us. Periodically they’d split, he’d come back, telling us how miserable he was, we’d do the old “maybe it’s time for you to move on, you’re better off without her if you’re that sad” spiel, and he’d run back to her and tell her how we said we hated her, and tell us how we didn’t understand and were mean to him. The divorce finally came and when it did, it was all OUR fault.

    He’s now living in a hotel and is in bankruptcy, and I’d rather swallow Drano than speak to him. However, I’m saying it ABOUT him, not TO him, so according to Teresa rules, I owe him no apology.

  27. 27
    hot cawfee
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 9:58 am

    @Feather—thanks– was wondering (whispering now) uumm…but isnt Brown Smurf too short to reach it??? I thought he was doing all the cooking now with the pink utensils.

    @Closet–never fear baby—that whack Jolene I am sure is available. I will begin trolling about for George Glass–bastard’s gotta be somewhere–maybe working at the Brownstone??

    @Joy– you are invited to my house for Thanksgiving– The in-law thing is so hard to navigate at times. I am so lucky that Mr Cawfee is an only child–its only my crazy family to be dealt with.

  28. 28
    hot cawfee
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 10:00 am

    Does any think Chris Laurita is going to pull Jaxx and sons off the show??? He looks like he is DONE.

  29. 29
    Toad
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 10:20 am

    First of all- hilarious recap!! I waited all week for it and it was so worth it!

    Second- did anyone else notice how Teresa’s voice kinda cracked and her eyes looked a LITTLE watery/crazy when she screamed at Mel “maybe my husband IS cheating on me!” Maybe I just imagined it. The whole scene may have made me start hallucinating.

    Shes totally projecting her fears of Brown Smurf cheating on her, IMO

    Agree with the sentiment that Lauren need to quit whining and work for something…whether it be money or weight loss or w/e. Her family needs to lay off, but I do wonder why she subjects herself to that over and over again. I’d just peace out…but then again I’m not dependant on my parents for money so maybe that has something to do with it. I used to like that whole family and now they just annoy me.

    T
    PS- i laughed so hard at the “200 lb lesbian to fight your battles” LMAO
    I love Rosie!

  30. 30
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 10:27 am

    Awwwww shit I am so busy I can’t read this right now! Dammit!

  31. 31
    fancyface
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 10:38 am

    @HotCawfee…YES! I can totes see Chris putting the kabosh on this shit show. I think he threatened to do it after the 2nd season because of Danielle so I can see him putting his foot down. ALTHOUGH, I think with his recent money problems, they probably need the RH income.

  32. 32
    labowner
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 10:51 am

    What happened to being able to reply to posts?

    Why did it say I was logged in as “storm” via my twitter account? That is not me and I don’t have a twitter account.

    Honey great recap.

    It is not a good marriage if you are not communicating. Good things or bad.

  33. 33
    labowner
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 10:51 am

    Shit Chick sorry.

  34. 34
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 10:57 am

    Labowner-Flipit took away the reply button! He is also working onthe twitter thing…That happened to me, as I was “logged in with twitter” but it was not my twitter account. I do have a twitter, but it is not with this name…

  35. 35
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 11:37 am

    Got through page one and think that Brown Smurf now works out on front of the camera in case he has to “go away” for a long time that, the other people that are “away” will think he’s tough and strong and smart (re:God comment) so he doesn’t get butt hurt for reals at sleep “away” camp.

    Also that duck lipped betch was Kim D.

    Whoever said Caroline was jowely, I HEART YOU SO HARD!

  36. 36
    featherhead
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 11:37 am

    @hot cawfee – Bwwhaha – you’re right! Maybe he has Gia do it for him!

  37. 37
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 11:39 am

    @ labowner Clair didn’t like the reply button on the face life thread… it’s probs around comment 2032674115432124 or something like that. I think he delinked Twitter too.

  38. 38
    labowner
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    Thanks for the info everyone.

  39. 39
    mom2redheads
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 1:33 pm

    Disclaimer: I still love Tree although sometimes I feel the need to slap her. I think the whole cheating comment is a little played out. Tree and her brother were in a piss fest about Juicy and Tree got irritated and said what she thought about Melissa. It was an opportunity to try and one up. Joe needs to realize if he talks about Brown Smurf to Tree (even if it is true), he needs to be willing to take the crap she wants to say about his wife. The whole dish it out, but can’t take it deal. Honestly, I think Tree thinks Melissa is a gold digger and an opportunist, and whether it is true or not, time will tell. Tree is loyal and if you talk about Brown Smurf, she is going to come at you guns blazing. I also think Joey needs to grow up a whole lot. Why tell Melissa what Tree said? What is it going to accomplish? More drama, more estrangement, more contention, the kids not seeing each other. Not worth it just to run your mouth to your wife about what your sister said. Keep it to yourself. Just so happy we haven’t had to see much of Melissa’s sisters yet this season.
    Caroline – cannot stand her, even a little bit. She is such a bitter Betty and needs to stay out of the whole Gorga/Guidice conflict. Not her business. Lauren needs to man up a bit and quit whining.

    Oh, final thought, the Gorga’s home is up for sale:
    http://perezhilton.com/2012-05-10-melissa-joe-gorga-sell-montville-jersey-mansion-real-housewives

    They claim to get away from Teresa, but my bet is the construction loan ran out. Mark my words…they will be in some serious financial straits in a few years.

  40. 40
    wow
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 3:26 pm

    The only teeny weeny valid point Theresa had was pointing out that if her brother calls her about his concerns/beliefs about her husband cheating on her that she should be able to call him with her concerns, etc. But what her brother does with that info (in this case sharing it with Melissa) is completely up to him. Just as she is free to share what he tells her with her disgusting, vertically challenged, ogre of a husband. Whether she tells her husband or not, this does not mean that her brother is in the wrong for doing it.

    Also I think its pretty clear that Joe Gorga’s concerns about Joe Guidice’s cheating are probably 1 million times more valid than this supposed “rumor” Theresa is hearing from the masses, even though its really an opinion, hers to be exact. Its obvious as everyone has said, when she’s forced to face a very likely truth, she’ll stoop to making something up just so her brother has to feel the same hurt. She’s beyond stupid and delusional, she’s vindictive, mean spirited and has the nerve to be too dumb to be smooth with it. She has no grace and, at at least for me, no ability to garner sympathy. She is the cause (either directly or indirectly) of all the problems in her life and she’s not willing to accept even an iota of responsibility for it.

  41. 41
    Vegas Chick
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    That was the funniest recap that I’ve ever read… move over Jay Mohr… keep it coming, lol.

  42. 42
    hot cawfee
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 4:58 pm

    @Mom2RedHeads— awesomeness !!! I just KNEW the dining room had fresh paint– I loved the slate blue. AM going to troll for more pix–I need to see the grounds–Oh yeah I have a few mil around that need spending.

  43. 43
    Mimo
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 6:53 am

    @ mom2redheads I really hadn’t ever paid a lot of attention to the Gorgas house. Wow! And it also explains some of Theresa’s decorating choices when she first moved into her house.

  44. 44
    labowner
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 2:12 pm

    You have a choice of converting your construction loan into a conventional mortgage or sell the house/property/building. Not a big issue.

  45. 45
    LAC LAC
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    Chickbomb – huzzahs for your great recap and trying to provide some context for what appeared to be Melissa’s battle with an idiot. I see Teresa’s attempt to CYA her dumb ass for an unnecessary comment to her brother (playing up his insecurities) failed as she is unable to argue her way out of a paper bag. Teresa, you are standing in a foreclosed glass house, with folks outside with rocks. Now is not the time to start throwing rocks. And seriously, if your reality check comes from a drunk who looks like a duck in a blonde wig, you are in serious trouble.

    Caroline is on my hateration list as well. Besides having penises, what have Albie and Christopher accomplished that makes them such ballers and Lauren such a loser? Yes, she needs to take her silly butt downstairs and work out, but she has had a beau throughout the run of this show. The mocking by her brothers and watching Caroline do her patented “that’s my fambliy” head cock is tiring.

    Anyone wants to place odds on which episode will be one where we will see Milania elevated over a pentagram? :)

  46. 46
    sardini
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    Interesting that the Gorgas installed the studio in their house and then they’re moving a year or two later. Kind of makes you think it has something to do with the construction loan, like someone else posted.

  47. 47
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted May 12, 2012 at 5:33 am

    I guess if my sister said something fucked up about Rodel to me I would have addressed it and came to a resolution, then reiderated the resolution to my sister 3 more times before we ended the conversation and left it at hugs.
    I would NEVER say one word about the conversation to Rodel because I wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings. I would never say anything to him to hurt him and I wouldn’t let anyone else.

    Now Melissa stepped to Theresa LIKE A BOSS!

  48. 48
    Tmurda
    Posted May 12, 2012 at 9:12 am

    I think most of us are on the same page. This ep was awesome. All this hatred completely stems from the simple fact that Melissa is the WAY prettier version of Teresa, and it KILLS Tre. Mel has money, Tre doesn’t. Mel has an awesome hubby and reasonably obedient children. Mel at least has enough intelligence to verbalize an arguement. Mel has everything Tre wishes she had. One commenter mentioned she’d had one talk with her bro about her concerns reguarding his wife, but then let it go from then on. That’s a true sister.. Tre had zero concern behind her comment. And when it comes to saying something so ugly about a person one loves, you have to be braindead to expect him/her to not repeat it to the loved one (especially a spouse). If Mel was truely the goldigger that Tre says she is, then that bitch could learn a thing or two from her baby sister-in-law. Tre tried her hardest to be a golddigger, but she sucked at it (like everything else). She picked a sugar daddy who was equally irresponsible w/money, and now she’s stuck spending the rest of her life pretending to love a bloated, unlikeable, embarrassment-of-a-husband. I’d hate Mel, too. I wish I coulda been a fly on the wall when Tre saw the ep where Mel played her love song for Midge. How retarded did she feel, seeing true love between her obviously NOT insecure brother and his adoring GORGEOUS wife? She prob looked over at her ogre husband passed out snoring on the couch beside her and had a mini-daydream/fantasy of drowning milania in the tub.
    Anyway, most people figure out at some point during their development into adullthood that just admitting you’ve fucked up and apologizing for it is a FAR better choice than desperatly grasping at non-existent straws of reason and valid explanation, only to be thrust further into a whirlwind of pathetic nonsense with every word. The sooner you just tap the fuck out, the sooner you can share a giggle with the other person over how stupid your actions/words were and move on. Tre has no concept of this, and is EXACTLY the person I LOOOOVE to argue with. A person who is nowhere NEAR as articulate or analytical as I am, in addition to being the one 100% right in the sitch, is my fave person to fight with cause I look smarter by the second while they get more redic and embarrassed. Mel fuckin TOLD IT ya’ll. Tre’s ignorance finally crossed that line, and the gloves are officially off. Everyone is supposed to keep their mouths shut about everything except Tre, I guess. If your hubby breaks the law in such an embarrassing way, you have to spend some time feeling embarrassed. Life sucks. Hey, I banged the whole city of Nashville in my early 20′s, and I had to accept my horrible reputation that was only overcome by a number of years and a move far away. Your man is a fat drunken dick-wad. Deal with it. When Kim Whoever is the one friend left there to slurr a half-assed pep-talk in support of your efforts, reality should not be far behind.

    Lauren needs to enroll in fat-girl college, and take a crash-course in “confidence is key”. Oy vey. NEWSFLASH: IF YOU PRETEND YOU’RE THE SEXIEST BITCH ON EARTH, PEOPLE WILL FORGET YOU’RE FAT!..to an extent anyway. And she already won half the battle by landing a man who’ll always be fatter than her, so she needs to get a scrip for adderall, do some squats, and act like you’re Angelina Jolie,mmkay? Jesus….just blame your failure in the make-up business on Moon-face’s last-minute t-shirt design sabatoge and call it a day, huh? No one in that family should feel like a failure with that worthless , pumpkin-faced deadbeat to compare oneself to…even if she IS all the way in “Sin City” where she was ironically sent to outgrow her sinful ways……*sigh* And if her BF is in the position to give his opinion on whether a hot chick is hot or not, she needs to act like a grown-up instead of putting even MORE emphasis on how not-as-hot-as-other-females she is. It’s the most classic mistake a girl can make. Forbid your man from thinking of/looking at/wanting something(one), and that’s the one thing he will desire and obsess over till his curiosity is satisfied. …….And people always attack others about the very thing they are insecure about themselves. Human nature, my friends. A concept left undiscovered by these people, but so clear to us who are blessed with the privlege of laughing at every minute of the nonsense.

  49. 49
    featherhead
    Posted May 12, 2012 at 12:56 pm

    Word to everything Tmurda said, the only thing I need to add is that Theresa has let the fame go to her head. She totally believes her own hype and sadly (or not) reality is going to come crashing down on her head. She needs to stop acting like an ass to everyone cause once Joe is in the Slammer she’s going to need her friends and family and they’re not going to be there anymore.

  50. 50
    Tmurda
    Posted May 12, 2012 at 11:06 pm

    @featherhead- WORD!

  51. 51
    Susanl
    Posted May 15, 2012 at 1:32 pm

    Lauren got into a size 8? Where at Lane Bryant? Is 8 the new 14. I’m feel bad she’s having problems losing weight (been there, still am) but don’t pretend you actually got a size 8 anywhere on your body. Both Nene and Kim claim to be size 2′s or something similar they they are far from it. I agree with a previous poster. Lauren, get your butt downstairs and work out and quit whining. Get a job, move out, and quit depending on your douchebag parents!

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