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Lebanese Dilbert tells us that Rosie hid her sexuality for a long time. Rosie tells us it was because she was afraid he’d forbid her from seeing his kids. I really wouldn’t worry about Rosie’s influence though, Vic seems to have achieved the slutty high school girl look all on her own, complete with blue eyeliner, down perfectly.
Rosie tells the story of coming out to the family, complete with her father on his deathbed telling her she’d never get married. She gets emotional about it, she tells us completely unnecessarily. I mean, she’s sobbing over a pizza pie, it’s kind of obvious.
She felt guilty, she had built up emotions, she was yelling and she finally came out with it. She went through it by herself in her 20s and 30s, back before being gay was cool, she says. You were just born that way, says Dilbert Jr.
Duh, I already know how it works. Lady Gaga force fed us this shit last year, remember?
Kat, who is definitely a meddler but is growing on me, says that she hates to think that her sister suffered in her coming out process. Funny, cause Caro said the same thing about her brother, but when Kat says it, it sounds authentic.Also, I love her necklace in this interview. It looks like candy.
It’s still hard for her, Rosie concludes, but hey no reason not to make good reality TV out of it, right? And now, for the Q&A portion of the pizza place coming out talk. Dilbert Jr. wants to know if she has “gaydar”. She makes a dumb joke about antennas and then tells us she’s always off. Aww, Rosie.
Over at Jacquee’s she is packing for Jamie’s wedding. She has so many clothes and nothing to wear, she laments. Oh dear, indeed. What will best accentuate her huge gramma boobs? She asks Chris, in a not at all contrived way, how he feels about his brother marrying a dude. Chris just thinks it’s weird, cause they used to pick up girls together.
So do you feel like he wasn’t being honest with you, Jacquee prods, trying to make it only 1 out of 11 siblings attending Jamie’s wedding. Nope, just didn’t expect it, says Chris, handily shutting down his moron wife. Imagine how much courage it took, Jacquee marvels. Chris makes a joke about how he’s been dating a dude. Then I notice he has a wallet chain and I have to minus like a thousand points from Chris, so it’s a good thing we’re changing scenes.
And even better, we’re catching up with our favorite demon seed, Milania. She’s pounding on Brown Smurf’s chest while Ter asks him where his “luggages” are. “Up your ass,” he cracks back, laughing at his own clever, articulate joke. Oh, and the Brown Smurf is on a roll! How about I go to the gay wedding with no shirt, he asks. How about with no pants, lil’ demon seed retorts. Oh. No. Nooooooo. Just thought is too much to take.
Ter pipes in to inform us that despite what people say, Brown Smurf is not anti-gay. And also, she is on the case as far as getting him to not say offensive things. Smurfy tells us he’s going to “bust Jamie’s chops” at the wedding, because apparently Smurfy looks just like Jamie’s first boyfriend. He jokes that he’s going to object to the marriage at the wedding.
Oh, then I guess we’re back with Jacquee for the update on Moonface. She’s invited to the wedding, but she can’t go. Turns out, she’s “worse than before” says Jacquee. After a month long vacay in Vegas? How could this be?
But now, it’s Moony’s Dad’s turn to deal with her, and he is not happy. Lots of “how the fuck did she get this way”s and “why did you and Chris give so many chances”’s. Oh, easy to blame the parents who were actually on the clock, now isn’t it, sir. Jacquee says that she’s kind of enjoying this reversal, and I have to say I would be too.
And then, the real issue of the day…Dina is not coming to the wedding. This sparks a lot of “Aunt Dina” talks amongst the kids. Why is isn’t she going? She and Jamie are close. Well, the story is she has to work – listen, those HGTV shows that air at 3 am don’t film themselves, you know.