RHONY Recap: Bubbly Baths and Crumby Trays

Recaps

By BelowSeaLevel | Wednesday, June 20, 2012 | 12:14 pm | 25 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Real Housewives of NYC, Recaps

Next, Sonja stops by the Crummie Tummie offices to speak with Heatherie.  Heather is coming up with all sorts of names for people.  Today, Sonja is Sweet Pea.  Sweet Pea calls Heather “the real deal” in her camera interview.  Heather is encouraging of Sonja’s multiple ventures, as opposed to Ramona Grigio, and also offers to help find a graphic artist to help with the logo instead of a notepad to write down a bunch of rambling barked-out suggestions (shouldn’t be too harsh, they were good, practical suggestions).

Heather had such a great time with the ladies that her husband suggested she ask the ladies to meet up after her business plans in London.  Sonja’s instantly all in.  Heather suggests inviting Carole, which she does on conference call.  Heatherie calls Carole what sounds like “Razzy Razzy Razz” and “Mama Boo” and although she has to work on her book, Razzy Razzy Razz Mama Boo calls Heather “Lovie” and will be joining the ladies across the pond.  Heatherie Lovie is so excited she even lets out another “Holla”.  Heather has now officially killed “Holla”  and the “ie” sound.

Did she just say Mama Boo? 

 

Ramona wants Mario and Carole to meet, so the three of them get together for lunch.  Mario’s having a beer, so Carole joins him, along with sharing his reading glasses and wanting to order the same entree.  Mario and Carole had some great chemistry between them that would have intimidated most women, but not Ramona.  Why should she worry when she can obliterate them both with her atomic eye beams.  Mario knows this, too.  Watching Ramona talk with food in her mouth proves nothing can stop Ramona from talking, not even tuna tartare. 

Bonding over beer and bifocals.

 

When Carole is talking about how cute and flirty Mario and Ramona are, even after all of that time, Ramona says that she loves Mario’s fragrance.  His fragrance makes her feel calm and secure.  Ramona should bottle that scent and spray it all over LuAnn and Heather.

Now, honey, put that knife away.  

 

LuAnn and Jacques are in the park with Noel riding his skateboard.  It makes one wonder if Noel broke up with a producer’s daughter because he’s not getting a very good edit this season.  Last week, we learned that he’s on the brink of failing French, while this week we see him take a tumble on his skateboard and a flashback video of him break dancing.  Hoping to convince viewers of her youth, LuAnn takes a ride on the skateboard while being held by Jacques.  Sad to say, it will take more than youthful indiscretion to roll back the years on those ovaries.

Sorry you fell, dahling, but it’s Thursday, so I won’t be able to console you until the weekend.

 

I’m going to give you a big push into this curb.  Ready?!?

 

Aviva has a delusion that Ramona is a jewelry expert, so she brings her along to shop for Reid’s wedding ring that she plans to present to him on their anniversary.  While shopping, Aviva receives a call from Heather inviting her to London, along with Carole and Sonja…no mention of Ramona.  This is very awkward, especially since Aviva took the call on speaker.  Finally, maybe this pot is coming to a boil.  Unlike Sweet Pea and Mama Boo, Aviva needs to talk to her husband since it’s only a girl trip.  More machines and phobias, no doubt.

You’re not invited?  I thought the the theme was drunk and crazy.

 

Ramona can’t help but get a “Heather talks too much” dig in by asking how she can get any work done since she’s always nattering.  Me thinks someone’s feelings are hurt.  Aviva picks up on it and asks Ramona if she was invited.  No, of course she wasn’t.  After picking out the ring, they head out for coffee since Ramona says it’s too early for wine.  Enjoy that.  Note it in your journals and calendars.  You’ll never hear that again.

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Living in New Orleans, it helps to be a good swimmer.  

 

 

 

25 Comments

  1. 1
    LAC LAC
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    (This is the lazy bitch edit from moi. :) )

    Full Cap!!! Practicing my goldfish face too!

    They have upped the glamour of being a NY lady who lunches, I will say that. However, viva la revolucion!! I am taking orders for rusty pitchforks, if anyone needs one. Some of these bitches need chasing and angry yelling at.

    Ramona – First of all – SHUT UP!!!!! Second, Heather is you, a few years back, ok? Ya both got yaps and ya both talk over, under, through, sideways other people! Third – SHUT UP!! Fourth, this Mario accessorizing you are doing – ummm, don’t! Doesn’t he have a home/job to go to? For someone who bitched about Simon, you sure are channeling Alex here. What, are you afraid that if you leave Mario alone, he will trip and fall into someone’s vagina? Just put a dick tracer on him and be done with it already.

    Luann – Jacques has grown on me and I love his frenchiness. Please don’t think that my Simpson’s-like open mouth laughing at the baby talk is due to him. You and I are probably the same age range and my time of the mouth is now on a quarterly basis. Assez on that storyline, ok?

    Heather – keep pissing Ramona off. It’s fun to watch, especially since I am sick of the ring kissing that is going on with crazy eyes. Please get that “holla” out of your tag line. You make me want to slap you.

    Caroline – Am I the only one who gets distracted by her mouth? She reminds me a little of Sarah Jessica Parker.

    Aviva – I like her for now. Tres chic and normal. And it really must be something having some old vaginas going on about her ex and keep calm.

    Speaking of old vaginas…hi, Sonja!! I liked the business segment with her. She is a such a mess with the ideas for costumes, toaster ovens, and party planning. But I thought there was aleady a “Sonja in the City” brand – that usually occurs around June when all the college boys are out looking for a summer job.

  2. 2
    LAC LAC
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    BSL – I love your screenshots, btw! Great recap!!

  3. 3
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 1:36 pm

    Like Aviva, I, too, am afraid of whirling, gnashing gears and teeth that might grab an appendage, tear it off in a spray of blood, and gimp-ify me for life.

    It’s so nice to know I’m not the only one.

  4. 4
    mirabelle gingerbread
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 3:21 pm

    is anyone else disturbed by how similar Carole & Aviva look? if ‘viva weren’t so blonde, they’d look like sisters. with Steven Tyler as an older brother! throw in Cindy from last season & we’d have a whole gaggle of long-haired, long-faced, buck-toothed bitches.

    ‘viva’s peg leg is the only thing that makes her unique! I kind of like Carole but I can sense that she’s horrible underneath it all, much like LuAnne. time (and the previews) shall tell!

  5. 5
    Pillania Pillania
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 6:26 pm

    Loving your recap! I think Aviva was sought out for this show solely based on the fact that her ex has done half the cast.

    I must admit to missing the old crew. Maybe I was just used to them, but the dynamic among the new group just seems to suck. If they wanted to change the cast, maybe they should have filtered people in/out a little more slowly. I would have loved to see Jill kissing Carole’s ass because she holds a higher title than Luann. Random gossip, I read in US Weekly (umm…at the doctor’s office…totally didn’t buy it) that Jill crashed a couple of the premiere parties.

  6. 6
    cherrylipgloss
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 7:11 pm

    With every sentence a slam-dunk, I have actually nothing to add. Great job BSL! I get to go to sleep chuckling….

  7. 7
    2muchbravo
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 8:38 pm

    Great job BSL. I don’t think Carole has a title. He dead husband had one. I saw that bit about Shill Zahrin. In the Dr’s office, too. Of course. We’d be hearing all about Aviver if she were still on the show.

    I kind of like Carole but she does seem a little overly flirtatious. The cute guy in the shop was fair game but flirting with Mario is off limits. “Oh, I’ll have a beer too. Oh, can I use your glasses? Oh, you smell so good! Hee hee.” At least she doesn’t brag about who her husband was. Yet.

  8. 8
    mere2142
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 8:32 am

    @LAC – I wholeheartedly agree with your assessment of Ramona!

    I do hope she snags a last minute invite to London so we can see the fur fly. I’m getting bored of these bitches already!

  9. 9
    trkaelin
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 8:46 am

    Does anyone know, was Carole’s friend (the one Aviva was crushing on) Duff from MTV back in the day when they actually played music??

  10. 10
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 9:06 am

    I can’t wait for the Halloween party where Aviva will come as Ahab.

  11. 11
    LAC LAC
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 9:19 am

    NTW!!! LOL! Bad boy!

    No doubt Sonja will distract with some bottom-less costume or something.

    “Oops, who knew my nun’s tunic was opened in the front! Sorry!!”

  12. 12
    hot cawfee
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 12:21 pm

    @1 LAC– exactly–thank you– was trying to put the correct phrase to this season and you nailed LAC-ie-kins (take that Heather !!!!!)

    But I have a liking for Heather– not sure why but it could be her slight batti-ness.
    Sonja– Oh Cookie– we saw your branding a mile away –your tag-line “A little Sonja will (spice, liven, perk–what ever I have stopped listen to you) up any party”. I am usually openinf up a bottle of wine at this point so tres apologies.

    And Luann– I like Jacques–he grows on me a little more each week. SO much so that the wine you two brought to the restaurant in the first episode??? I bought a bottle today– I like French Rose too.
    J’adore vin (du????) rose. Other than your misguided notion of having a baby at 47 I have no snark for you this week.

    And I must rewatch this episode so I can recap and read correctly.
    Oh BSL– thank you–this season should be a hum-dinger!!!

  13. 13
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 12:28 pm

    Who goes to a business meeting without something to take notes on? Where is her ipad? My God is she living in 2008??!?!?!

    I just use my ipad to look smart but really all I do is play games (Family Feud is my new fav) and keep up with Toddlers and Tiara comments when it they get all hot and heavy.

  14. 14
    labowner
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 3:58 pm

    Classy she forgot 1/2 an outfit. It is ditzy Sonja. You can’t expect much from her, but she does try and I give the girl credit for cooking in her toaster oven. When was the last time any of them made anything besides turning an empty glass into one filled with wine?

    I would be fully creeped out if I met two of my husbands ex-flings. Were these one night stands? Ugh forget I asked. I see LuAnn apologizing – sorry it’s so dry darling…..

  15. 15
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 5:08 pm

    @labowner

    I don’t think they are one night stands. I think they are flings, Sonja is still friends with him so I am sure they still have the occasional romp in the hay.

    Also the pipe must be great and I think Harry is getting so much ass now because women are intrigued.

  16. 16
    Too-Old-To-Care
    Posted June 22, 2012 at 3:16 am

    Karen Duffy WAS the MTV DJ. She’s a fashion model who wrote a book years ago about her illness. I don’t remember the name of the illness but remember reading the book. Her positive spirit showed through her writing. I was impressed that Revlon retained her as a model during her treatment.

    Karen wore a hat to a big awards show (Emmys? Oscars?) because she was losing her hair due to chemo. Joan Rivers made a nasty comment about the hat. You may have read about JR’s very public faux pas.

    I have no doubt that all the HWs will end up going to London. Without Lulu and Ramona Grigio, who’s going to stir up the drama?

  17. 17
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted June 22, 2012 at 4:57 am

    @labowner, it seems like Aviva made peace with the Harry relationship because she does seem happy with Reid. I also think that she can hang out with Harry’s booty calls is because five years have passed since their divorce, and from what I can tell, it seems as if she always was aware that he was a cheater. While she’s not OK with the infidelity, she’s made peace with it and has moved on. I’m sure part of the reason she was cast was based on the hopeful drama resulting from Aviva hanging out with her ex-husband’s booty calls, and that was deflated. I also bet if she was still single and bitter about the breakup, it would be more of a storyline this season than it has been. We all know maturity and growth has no place in the Housewives franchise (as evidenced by the reunion special last night).

  18. 18
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted June 22, 2012 at 6:58 am

    Karen Duffy was in “Dumb and Dumber” as well.

  19. 19
    trkaelin
    Posted June 22, 2012 at 8:27 am

    @Too-old- I remember her as spokeswoman for Revlon and know vaguely of her illness. Didn’t remember the Joan Rivers thing though, but I’m not surprised in the least.

    @sheesh- I do remember her in Dumb and Dumber!

  20. 20
    hot cawfee
    Posted June 22, 2012 at 11:52 am

    Love Karen Duffy !!!!!! Was it MS???? Or Lupus???? She wrote a great article just after 9-11 detailing her thoughts and hosting a bunch of first responders in her NYC home. I think it was published in “New York” magazine.

    Does anyone get the sense that Luann is going to be leaving the show and this is a possible prep for a spin-off?????

  21. 21
    Iona Trailer
    Posted June 22, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    Does Ramona even know she never lets anyone get a word in ever? Maybe that’s why she hates HEather because there is one person in the world who can cut her off.

    Poor Sonja….all she has it her very loose and overly used vagina and a toaster oven to market. She just needs to find a really rich desperate old man and be done with it. She is about the most likable of the crew outside of Carole who I find a little boring.

    Still loving The Cuntess but somebody needs to tell her that her baby ship sailed a long time ago. I am still hoping at some point during the season she bitch slaps Ramona.

    I think leaving Jill out of the group was a mistake. She would have been fun to watch. I don’t miss Alex, Kelly or Cindy one bit.

  22. 22
    labowner
    Posted June 22, 2012 at 4:45 pm

    “We all know maturity and growth has no place in the Housewives franchise (as evidenced by the reunion special last night).”

    Have you not watched Vancouver franchise?

    Great we now have a dead beat dad on NYs. Aviva, Reid seems very wealthy why isn’t your son covered under the family insurance umbrella? Do you want me to believe he doesn’t have insurance? What kind of mom are you to do that? Tacky you take this to the tabloids.

  23. 23
    2muchbravo
    Posted June 22, 2012 at 9:34 pm

    What network is the Vancouver housewives show you’re all talking about? I’ve never heard of it.

  24. 24
    Delia
    Posted June 23, 2012 at 3:41 pm

    I don’t mean to jack this thread, but.. I would actually like to know the easiest way to see the RHO Vancouver also, here in the US. I’ve heard some good things about that show. I tried to root around last week and wasn’t really sure if I have to download something?

    So far I’m bored with RHoNY this year. Ramona is still annoying; Luann is in a different head space due to being happy and her trumped up problems with Ramona just aren’t grabbing my attention; Aviva is just super dull; Heather is on puppy uppers and acts like a former beauty queen with all of the over the top smiling weirdness; Carole seems interesting but above the petty bullshit so I’m not sure she’s going to contribute too much. Maybe they should have the former NY housewives ‘guest’ occasionally or something?

  25. 25
    CJ
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 6:10 pm

    BSL, the caption under LuAnn’s picture is hysterical. Miss your great DBTFTW recaps!

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