Last week, it was down to the wire if Ramona would be invited to London. After a
hilarious failed fashion makeover and throwing Aviva under the bus, it looks like the bus doors slammed in Ramona’s face and she will be cooling her heels at home with Aviva’s cool heel. Damn! They could have put Ramona on the London Eye with a case of Mad Dog and left her there for days.
The two royals and the toaster oven queen are greeted in London by their guide, Mark, and he’s armed with goody bags. The countess takes advantage of the ride to the hotel to find out why the princess is calling her Pumpkin Head. Instead of seizing the opportunity to start some drama, Carole tells LuAnn that she has a big, gorgeous head and that it’s a term of endearment. I’m so wishing Ramona had been invited at this point. Or the Sleepy Hollow horseman. Same decapitating effect.
It’s Countess Pumpkin Head to you.
Instead of high drama, we get LuAnn’s British accent and Sonja zoning in on the fact that Carole is wearing a Superman cape instead of a bra. The bra isn’t a deal killer, though, because Carole’s sex kitten look is working for Sonja, as she cares less and less for the closets that have meant so much to her in her earlier life. What’s not working for Carole is Lu’s cartoon accent. Pumpkin Head needs to drop it or our favorite caped crusader might take matters into her gloved hands.
That Superman cape with no bra is working for me. Can I touch it?
The penthouse where they will be staying is gorgeous. Lu doesn’t seem to be too impressed with the “view of roof tops,” but Sonja is blown away with the pristine elegance, whatever that means. Heather isn’t there to greet them personally because she’s off with the Yummies doing some sort of internationalie meeting stuff.
There’s one human train wreck that is unnerving, yet captivating. Let’s call him Pardon, since I think that’s the only thing he can say. Is Pardon wearing some sort of Yummie that’s squeezing blood to his brain? He probably stares at people while they’re sleeping.
Heather prepared for the international meeting by reading bumper stickers, telling the Yummies that while they think localie, they must also act globalie. See Rock City. Visualize Whirled Peas. Don’t Do Drugs. My Child is an Honor Student. Blah, blah, blah. Bring back Pardon, please. Creepy’s better than audio bumper snicker; although, whirled peas at Rock City would be awesome. Screw London–America–Fuck Yeah! Pardon!
Can someone make that guy sit down?
Back at the pristine penthouse, a fun argument is breaking out between Sonja and Carole over fascinators. Carole finally admits she was calling them fasteners, which Sonja points out is something a bra has and since Carole doesn’t wear a bra, she wouldn’t know. Sonja has some sort of bra-less Carole thing going on. Mind the gap, Sonja. Sonja is in heaven when she finds the big bathtub. She’s been wanting a bubble bath since her feet touched the ground. Carole is no doubt endearing every viewer when she says during her camera interview how annoying Pumpkin Head’s faux British accent is becoming. Right on, Caped Carole!
If she keeps up with that faux British accent, I’m gonna go all Caped Carole on her ass.
In New York, Ramona has gone shopping for shoes with Aviva. Why couldn’t they shop for something Ramona needs–like an AA meeting and a muzzle? Poor Ramona is so confused about how Aviva can shop. She doesn’t seem to make the connection that one of Aviva’s legs is a prosthetic leg or that shoes can slip on and off of it. Ramona even seems amazed that her toes are fake. Does she think for one second that Aviva’s toes were attached to her prosthetic leg? Could anyone really have a pedicure that perfect? Does Boones Farm Strawberry Pinot Grigio saturate the brain that heavily? Yes, yes, and oh, yes.
Where’s Aviva, you robot?I think Jill has an army of robots now. I just saw one!