RHONY Recap: London Calling…They Didn’t Leave a Message


Things are going well until Carole brings up the energy of the room, that it’s different without Ramona.  Even more drastic of a change in energy, is bringing up the change in energy.  Sonja describes Ramona as an acquired taste–so is haggis, I’ve heard.

Why did she just bring up Ramona?

 

Ramona can’t help but bring up Heather during their dinner.  She imitates Heather as a faker with a pageant smile plastered on her face.  Let’s just say Ramona is not ready for her close up.  Reid asks Ramona if she has this problem with any other women, which she denies.  Mario qualifies it by saying not presently.  The husbands are having a great time laughing while the ladies are focused on gossip.

 

That’s how I shake my prey once I get my pit bull mouth on it!

 

Aviva invites Mario and Ramona to join them at their place in Miami.  As she’s accepting, Ramona starts choking again, except all of the Heimlichers sit by watching her choke, including her husband who takes a big sip of wine.  Let’s not all jump up at once, guys.

Soooo, anyone else want some more wine?

 

Back to London, LuAnn is feeling inspired for her new song by Pleather’s gangster chic.  Seriously, yo!  During a discussion about the use of Polaroid pictures, Pleather name drops that her friend owns Polaroid, yo!  Put “yo” in the pile with “holla” as officially dead.  Gee, thanks, Heather. You’re off the chain!

I must capture and unleash her gangsta essence…in a song.  

 

Before heading to bed, the tipsy ladies decide to play a sex question game.  Warning:  If you have a weak stomach, move on to the next paragraph and do not read the following sentence.  All you need to know is that LuAnn did “it” on a ping pong table under the moonlight.  See, bet you’re regretting not fast-forwarding to the next paragraph, aren’t you?  Wait, before moving on, have to ask if she did that trick with the ping pong balls?  That would be some ferrealz gap minding.  Quit bitching, you were gonna have to get the brain bleach out anyway.

Next week, the countess and princess go full-on one-upping cage match and Sonja kicks off her catering business at the anniversary party for Aviva and Reid.  There will be crumb trays–and blood.

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Living in New Orleans, it helps to be a good swimmer.  

 

 

 

35 Comments

  1. 1
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 3:42 am

    OMG @BelowSeaLevel! I think you read my mind!

    When Aviva took her shoe off, I was so hoping she’d tell Ramona “Oh no, the toes are totally real. Its just the leg that’s fake. See?”

  2. 2
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 5:00 am

    This was a pretty boring episode. I hope that more happens than an old lady sleepover.

    When Ramona asked about toes I think she meant did it have toes in general.

    Please Pleather leave the slang to the cool kids. Not only does it sound forced but you sound ridiculous saying words that people haven’t used in 5 years.

  3. 3
    cloudsinmycoffee
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 7:50 am

    Carole had me laughing in her interviews with her exhaustion with LuAnn. Seriously, she does have a point, whenever LuAnn is around Carole she gets this diarrhea of the mouth and has to talk about her fabulous past/life/status/social circle/experiences and it gets real old real fast. The paychecks must be good because I would have told her to shut the fuck up already.
    And with every passing season I feel like Ramona’s becoming more and more unhinged. Does she think she’s made it because she’s teaching a Learning Annex class? Is that a big deal? So did Bethenny, does that mean that Ramona’s businesses will be picked up by major brands?
    I sincerely don’t think so.

  4. 4
    myfavoritesunglasses
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 9:08 am

    Hmm, I always thought the rule about “when to start eating” was “whenever the host starts”. Especially at a big table like that .. if you wait for everyone to be served, and then wait if someone was up for some reason, 19 people’s food will be cold by the time you can eat, according to Lulu! I say, Pleatherie was the boss in that situation, so you follow her lead.

  5. 5
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 9:36 am

    I will say that I will wait for everyone to be served but if you are in the bathroom, tough shit, I’m HUNGRY!!! NOM NOM NOM!!!

    I did giggle when Lu (she loves it when you call her that) tried to sneak a bite

  6. 6
    clares
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 9:44 am

    How much do you think it kills LuMann that not only is Carole a Princess but she was related thru marriage to the Kennedys and very good friends with JFK jrs wife? FYI their plane crashed within weeks of the death of Caroles husband, it must have been an extremely difficult year for her. I think Caroles time in Notting Hill meant a lot to her and I wish she would just loose it on LuMann.

  7. 7
    labowner
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 10:05 am

    Etiquette states if there are more than 8 people at the table, you may start eating when you are served. I understand Luann waiting until they returned because she is all about doing everything properly and with klass.

  8. 8
    LAC LAC
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 10:06 am

    Great recap! But, Lord don’t remind me of the visual of the countess on her back on top of ping pong table pointing her feet to Jesus and thinking of shoes and future titles. It is fun watching Luann getting increasingly rattled by Caroline and needing to name/place drop like Eminem dropping rhymes on speed.

    The old lady sleepover looked fun to me. I would do that too. Food, drink and pajamas sounds heavenly. It certainly was more fun than watching Ramona offer her “kettle, meet pot” analysis of Pleather in between choking on her own bile. And ten times more fun than having to patiently explain a prostetic leg to that wine-filled bag. Me, I would have knocked her unconscious with the leg and then step over her pinot filled ass to look for some pumps.

    That media contrast between Pleather and Ramona Pinot was worth some chuckles. Remember, bused in folks, if Ramona can do it, so can you – repeat that 10 times with a bottle of wine in your hand.

    I loved that penthouse and would have lived in that deep bathtub.

    Next week we are witness to Sonja washing her face in ass water and Ramona really not caring about the London trip and letting everyone know how little she cares. hoooray…

  9. 9
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 10:11 am

    “Etiquette states if there are more than 8 people at the table, you may start eating when you are served.”

    Labowner…did you read Lu’s book?!!?!? :)

  10. 10
    NatPatBen NatPatBen
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 1:18 pm

    This is my first season watching RHONY. Can someone explain the Lu “she loves it when you call her that” thing to me?

  11. 11
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 1:26 pm

    Hi NatPatBen. Sonja called LuAnn “Lu” once when they got together for lunch and LuAnn responded that she loves it when Sonja calls her that.

  12. 12
    featherhead
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    @NatPatBen – I’ll give it a try. LuAnn has been a condescending asshole since the beginning – She insisted on being called Countess or Mrs. DeLesseps to anyone beneath her (which was most people.) Now this season she has dropped the title (the Count dumped her in an email) and since her bff Jill was fired from the cast, she is trying to befriend Sonja (who is Ramona ‘s bff) and imo trying to turn Sonja against Ramona. At a lunch she invited Sonja to the first words out her mouth to Sonja was that she loves when Sonja calls her Lu. That is why I always add the line (she loves it when you call her that) because she sounded so fake when she said it to Sonja. You should try to get the earlier seasons because Lu (she loves it when you call her that) was a totally different person then you are seeing now.
    Hope that helps ;)

  13. 13
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 1:48 pm

    @featherhead, beautifully said! Was it Bethenny that LuAnn jumped all over that didn’t introduce her as The Countess to a driver? It was one of those earlier seasons.

  14. 14
    LAC LAC
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 1:53 pm

    BSL, that was it exactly. Loved Bethenny’s sarcastic response to that pretentious heiffa.

  15. 15
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    @LAC, thanks! That was one of my two favorite countess scenes. The other one was a few seasons ago when Ramona said something about the count being much older, or something like that, and Lu went after Ramona with a vengeance, attacking her eyes, etc. They were cooking or doing something at someone’s house. Good times, good times.

  16. 16
    labowner
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 2:46 pm

    LAC god no. I was 18/19 at the time and was out at a corporate dinner with the boyfriend and I was waiting for everyone to get their food before I started to eat. There were only 12 of us and the GMs girlfriend filled me in on that tidbit of etiquette. As she said, if you wait that long your food will be cold.

  17. 17
    featherhead
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    @BSL – my favorite condescending Countess line “Darrrling, the Countess does not drink beer from a bottle “- douche bag! I notice she hasn’t used Darling in a sentence in a while now. She’s too busy trying to one up Carole lately.

  18. 18
    Never again
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 4:47 pm

    Loved the recap. Want you, BSL, to know that.

    I thought this was a boring/REALLY creepy episode. Got to admit the London Invite a few weeks ago sounded so great, but this looked liked a really low class version of a trip to London. We weren’t royalty but when my family went on our middle-class way to London proper we had a classier time. The Penthouse Slumber party was something I would’ve BOLTED from at any chance I could ( FYI, I’m a girl). And, well, just, thank you, for calling her Pleather. Or otherwise not kissing her “bum” in general. That dinner was hilarious! Is her tummy thingy a pyramid type deal? That was the worst and, well, her face really bugs me.

    So on a nicer note, what I really wanted to say was…I don’t really have a fav RHO “wherev”( RHOBH, actually, those b’s got some power, Lisa/Adreane anyway) but I think RHONY makes me “think” the most. These girls (except Carole) so far are some pretty sick tickets! I always was intrigued by LuLu, annoyed, but fake status is her weird deal. Anyway, the fertility is gross, and so is Jack(Jacques). She is pretty, but off the rails at this point.

    Sonja has grossed me out from the beginning. My new new fav show would be any reaction from Mr. Morgan. Is he crying, is he laughing his head off in a REAL penthouse? Not that he wasn’t a bleep….for getting involved

  19. 19
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted July 12, 2012 at 6:04 am

    I agree Never Again. I can have an old lady sleep over in America. Show me something fun. Isn’t there somewhere they could have gone to have half naked men gyrate on them like the RHOBH did when they went to Vegas?

  20. 20
    hot cawfee
    Posted July 12, 2012 at 8:41 am

    @ 10, 11, 12–Nat, BSL and Feather– can I add a bitchy tid-bit???
    Why yes Cawfee—please do.

    Lulu is a commoner— her family has no “name” like Roosevelt. Sonja is a Tremont– which is a name of social standing.
    Yeah I know…but hey I will out myself a bit. My gramma’s cousin worked for Woolworth family from the 1920′s thru the marriages of mother and daughter. They were lovely to Cousin Mary and took care of her like a family member. And my great-grandparents (with the exception of one gg-pa) all worked in service for wealthy people. This is stuff I have been hearing my whole life–names etc.

    RE: London –is it possible that many hotels refused the show to be filmed there??? How funny if they had been booked into a hostel !!!!

  21. 21
    featherhead
    Posted July 12, 2012 at 9:57 am

    @hot cawfee – lmao!! LuLu was a nurse that grew up in CT. I wonder if she lived on the Rez since she mentioned that her dad is Native American. She puts on airs like she grew up in Europe in a castle complete with servents and serfs. Bitch, please!! Ya know it’s got to be killing her that Carole is a Princess (even if it was only by marriage as was hers).

  22. 22
    JMSchulze
    Posted July 12, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    OK — a quick question – that I can’t seem to find the answer to anywhere- and it appears that this is being done very deliberately. The penthouse the RHONYC stayed in while in London was in WHAT HOTEL? THANKS for us enquiring minds!

  23. 23
    labowner
    Posted July 12, 2012 at 5:11 pm

    Are you joking JM? May Fair

  24. 24
    Nikki
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 4:20 am

    I missed the episode. Thanks for the great recap, BSL! But there will not be enough brain bleach to go around for all of us. The whole ping pong thing sounds like a Thai sex show. EEWWWWWWW!

  25. 25
    hot cawfee
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 9:07 am

    @24 Nikki—I bet the pingpong table was in some sophomore’s rec room!!!!!
    Lets raid the parents liquor cabinet and stare at the panelling!!!

  26. 26
    Surly Girly Surly Girly
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 9:13 am

    I wanted to reach right into the TV screen and slap LuLu’s pumpkin head when she coyly took a quick bite of bread and looked around with that phony lil-girl “I am so naughty!” look. Get real, woman! I also noted that she was name-dropping “Radziwill” to someone as in “We knew the Radziwills in Europe” and used the Polish pronunciation of “Radzivill” with a “v” … just to show she’s so veddy, veddy continental doncha know. Even Carole says it with a “w” – but then again, she’s got nothing to prove.

    I do not buy that BS about sex on the pingpong table. Those tables are not overly sturdy, and that gal ain’t no Twiggy – forget about the additional weight of her partner.

  27. 27
    labowner
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 10:10 am

    Surly bent over maybe? Shudder at the thought. I agree as we had ping pong tables growing up and one was broken on the head of a party goer. No way would they hold two people having sex and it would move unless anchored to the floor and who does that with a ping pong table?

  28. 28
    Mimo
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 10:34 am

    Miss Andy asked Sonja during WWHL if she had ever done it on a ping pong table. Sonja informed him that it wasn’t sturdy enough.

  29. 29
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 10:40 am

    why am I even telling this story…

    My best friend in high school , God love her she was a slore to the nth degree, but she had sex on the ping pong table and it was bent over as Labowner suggested. Sadly I’d gone to sleep and woke up mid hunch.

  30. 30
    Surly Girly Surly Girly
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    Ah – of course! Hunched over said table. (((((shudder)))))

    LOL @ classy drunk waking up “mid hunch” ….

  31. 31
    MrsMiaWallace
    Posted July 14, 2012 at 12:45 pm

    @surly – Lu (she loves it when I call her that) used to be one of my fans early in, but I have grown to despise her almost the most. When she played that little “take a bite of bread” scene out I wanted to throttle her and I’m having trouble understanding why.

    Because it was so cutesy? Because no one around her cared? Because she’s and inveterate asshole???

  32. 32
    Surly Girly Surly Girly
    Posted July 15, 2012 at 10:14 am

    @ Mia: All of the above. I used to like Lu a lot in the beginning. She was refreshing, compared to the horrors of Jill, Ramona and AlexSimon, and I really loved her kids – especially Noel.

    HOWEVAH!

    She’s really gone downhill over the last few seasons, and I think that having another “title” appear on the show has derailed her. She always acted as though, by being “The Countess”, she had the moral high ground and was so much better than all the measly NYC commoners, don’cha know. Carole’s superior title has knocked the hot air wind out of La LuLu’s sails and I am loving it!

  33. 33
    CJ
    Posted July 15, 2012 at 6:49 pm

    BSL, you’re doing a great job making this very boring season funny with your comments. “Shop for something Ramona needs like an AA meeting or a muzzle” is hysterical and oh, so appropriate. Not wasting an hour a week on these women when all I need is your recap.

  34. 34
    realhousewivesfan
    Posted July 15, 2012 at 7:29 pm

    I loved this episode, i’m excited to see the Royal Wars in London. haha.
    I was watching With my mom whose knew to the show and she totally disliked Lu-Ann
    for having this sour envious face all the time. HA i love Princess Carole, Ramonna, Sonja and Aviva!

  35. 35
    caligal
    Posted July 18, 2012 at 12:19 pm

    Late to the party, but that stand up and say your name and why you love yummie, reminded me of an AA meeting.

    Hello, my name is Caligal, and watching this show is turning me into an alkie.

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