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Aviva is nervous since Sonja is her ex-husband’s best friend and she might have slept with him. Big build up for nothing–turns out, Harry will not be at the party. Aviva and Sonja chit chat a little, with Aviva telling Sonja that she was worried that she might be uncomfortable with the “crinkles.” Sonja gives the tired line, “I don’t stir the pot, I stir the drinks.” Please drop that, Sonja, it is annoying. After all, why does anyone watch this carp–to see the pot stirred, until it explodes. So get with it, people!
Heather and Carole show up with some champagne that is an upgrade from Ramona’s radiator Pinot Grigio. Hell, toilet water is an upgrade from Ramona’s Pinot Grigio. Just look what it’s done to her brain–zombies pass her up like an empty plate. Carole is kind of in the background in a tiny unitard/short short outfit. I’m not sure what it’s called, but I’m going to call it a “Carole” suit, which looked a little bit like something a high school wrestler or Borat would wear, but hey, anything that woman puts on can be sexy…well, nevermind, anything except that unitard thing…what did I just name it? Oh yeah, the “Carole” suit.
Heather was so enthralled with the ladies wearing clothes that she forgot to introduce Carole. When the ladies realize they’ve been chatting up the Yummie Tummie Dummie while someone of actual note has been cooling her heels on the “outside” they shrink inside a little. Poor Carole in her “Carole” suit.
The ladies are chit-chatting and acting sociable until Pinot-for-Brains shows up with her hubby, Mary-O. I can’t decide if I like him or just like him better than his pickled wife–barely. But then again, there’s something about the way he looks at women–especially Sonja–that seems pretty creepy. In this show, creepy may also be good entertainment.
The Countess is annoyed to see her nemesis show up. Camera LuAnn says how she is still angry at Ramona for all of the nasty things she said last season…ANNNNNND….she still hasn’t apologized. Are you paying attention? I need to repeat this one more time. She still hasn’t apologized!
Ramona can’t keep her hands off of Heather’s dress since her Yummie is peaking through. Ramona says she wants to un-do Heather and that she’s a woman. Sorry, Ramona, that doesn’t make you any less of a creeper. Aviva gushes to Carole how much she loved her book. Carole is genuinely humbled. If there’s ever been a housewife on any franchise that I would want to be a friend with, it’s Carole. And that “Carole” suit–really, gotta have one in every color.
Heather and LuAnn are talking about their background and asks LuAnn what her father looked like since she said he was half American Indian. Heather then tells LuAnn that her father just passed away, like a week or two prior. As talking head LuAnn said, “Awkward.” Carole is in a circle with Ramona and Aviva discussing motherhood. Carole says she doesn’t hate kids, she just hates when moms do nothing but talk about them. Guess everyone has an opinion–and that other thing.
There’s something about the way LuAnn is inching closer to Ramona and asking if they can talk about something. Ramona says she’s not feeling well and doesn’t want to get into it, but LuAnn says she just wants to talk so there isn’t an elephant in the room all of the time. Ramona looks around and says there isn’t an elephant in the room. Let her finish the other bottle of Night Train that she brought and she’ll see a big pink one. Until hell freezes over, LuAnn will not be getting an apology from Ramona.