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Thursday, July 26, 2012
9:40 am
15 Comments
Tagged: aviva drescher, BelowSeaLevel, Carole Radziwill, Cool Cat Carole, countess, friend jumper, Heather Thomson, Holla!, hornysaurus, Jacques, Lady Morgan, LuAnn deLesseps, Mary-O, parody, Pee-no Grigio, Pepe le Pew, Pleather, Princess Carole, Pumpkin Head, Ramona Grigio, Ramona Singer, real housewives of nyc, recap, rhony, Singer Stinger, Sonja Morgan, spoof, toaster oven cookbook, tvgasm, Yummie
When horndog hears that Aviva is setting him up with Sonja Morgan, he likey very much. Hope Sonja remembers her knickers for her date with the Hornysaurus…and mace.
You have to hurry, Aviva. Her attorney’s drafting a cease and desist letter.
Mario and Ramona have arrived in Miami and Ramona is ready and raring to go full turtle time. After a glass of champagne and a quicky tour, Ramona is not happy looking at pictures of Aviva’s family above the bed they’ll be sleeping in. Solution: blindfolds and massive alcohol intake.
Back in New York, the anti-invited duo stop by the Boom Boom Brow Bar for a quicky wax. The countess loves the name of the brow bar–so gangsta chic. Heather really is gangsta and doesn’t Holla! when they wax her brows, even though she’s getting a basketball head to rival the royal pumpkin. LuAnn is not quite so easy-going, screaming and ouching every time a strip get’s yanked. Ouchies! Holla!
I asked for the “Groucho Marx”, so why did you take off so much?
LuAnn shares with Heather that Sonja was packing for a trip to Miami that didn’t include them. Heather finds it hypocritical since Aviva kept pushing Heather to dis-exclude Ramona, and now Aviva anti-invites them to Miami. There’s gotta be a civil rights violation in this somewhere.
Hell yeah! Everyone else is awful.
Heather tries once again to hint to LuAnn that the other ladies are complaining about her behind her back. On today’s agenda: Cutting off the short ladies when making an entrance. LuAnn thinks it’s ridiculous. I mean she can barely see them down there. They look like ants! She’s supposed to defer to ants?! Well, she did remember grabbing Heather’s hand to rush in front of Sonja when they went out one night in London, but that was just to stop Sonja from consuming all the men in the room in one gulp. Countess will try to shorten her Paul Bunyanesque strides–maybe.
Oh, dawling, deez iz srsly royal.
Getting ready for dinner, Ramona is trying to put face powder on Mario and teach him how to do smoky crazy eyes. Mario isn’t into either of those things, but he is into the short beaded skirt he bought for the pinot queen. She just loves how it shows off her “glams”. Ramona does have some nice gams, but if “glams” is slang for bulging alien eyes, then, yeah, great glaring “glams”.
In the Aviva suite, poor Reid wants to show off a little more chest, but wifey’s making him go one button higher and not letting him out of the house looking like some sorta skank. Seems the George-force is having its effect on everyone.
Why can’t I unbutton two buttons like everybody else? No fair!
15 Comments
What does Pepe le Pew do exactly? He sells wine or is just a pro douche/wine drinker?
Great recap, BSL!!
Ramona at the dinner table was hilarious. I normally don’t laugh out loud unless someone falls down (sorry Aviva, but I am sure you want to be treated like everyone else), but Ramona had me in stitches.
So do people just let anyone do their brows? I have been going to the same place for 10 years. I don’t know that I could just let a random person mess with my eyebrows. Maybe I am just a creature of habit.
TURTLE TIME!!!!
I have to say, I saw the previews, and what hornysaurus says to princess Carole and seeing Mario spew out his drink actually had me in stitches. That, and the sommelier dig that backfired was amusing. Don’t get between a lush and her Pinot soaked liver, girlie man.
@classy, dahling, this random eye brow waxing by any hoi polloi is just not done. Quel horror!
(seriously, I like routine too)
When does the shit in the fan on this show? Let’s go!!
I did have a LOL moment when Luann said (about the waxing) “It hurts like a bitch!” Countess, really? Such language… And that little plot you cooked up with frenchy was a little nasty – all we were missing was high school lockers and a bunch of bitchy cheerleaders. Meow…
Ramona is exhausting. A workout with Richard Simmons is less exhausting. Watching those eyes bulge, that mouth run non-stop. I know that she is considered fun, but I do not think that I could deal with her without dramamine. And that salad ordering? Either that place is used to high maintenance heiffas or that balsamic dressing will have some new “ingredients”. That poor waiter…
Aviva – your Dad? First, ewwwww. Second, when is he and Jackie Mason opening at Catskills? And that epic sized hotdog could be put to good use when you are stirring shit. Which is constantly now…
Poor Sonja – she finally met a man who was not in awe of her or terrified of her ability to consume him whole.
Danke for the great recap. Hope this show becomes worthy of you.
Wow! The Aviva family just up and broke every record and won every prize for creepy inappropriate family conversation in the world!
The Kardashians are going to be so pissed.
I have been having the same girl do my eyebrows for the last 5 years and the thought of going somewhere else makes me break out in hives!
Why is it Heather’s job to school everyone else on manners and etiquette? And the Cuntless no less – has she not read the book!?!
This seemed like a set up for next week when the shit really hits the fan…and it better because so far this season has been a let down.
I can’t believe these hoity-toity women still do waxing. How pedestrian. Hello threading.
Saw the previews…the second half of this season looks interesting.
The Countess is a slore….hmmmmmm.
I hate how Bravo teases us. As good as the Countess being a sloot would be, I just know it’s a bait and switch, but I am still praying because she has become the most vile this season. I’m glad she’s getting the bitch edit because I think them keeping her while firing so many others has really over-inflated that pumpkin head of hers.
Although Aviva is annoying, she made a good point that it is really messed up to try to make someone’s kids or business look bad on air. I was surprised Ramona didn’t recognize her wine just based on how much of it she drinks, but I was thinking it’s possible she thought it was a close competitor, in which case if she praised it she would look bad/hurt her business. Basically Lu put her in a lose-lose situation and sat nearby and cackled like the harpy she is the whole time.
If Ramona’s wine is crap, let the good people of target decide, it doesn’t have to come out of Lu’s snide uncouth Count-gobbler mouth.
PS I don’t like the Countess
It is silly, but what was the name of the ginormous hot dog Aviva ordered? Was it Kobe beef or Kobe B.hot dog? When I heard the name the first time, I thoght they said “Kobe B. “, and since I saw the previews with the giant hot dog on the plate, I thought that the hot dog was named after Kobe Bryant, some kind of athlete, and his dong. I don’t want to sound racist or anything, ha, ha. Maybe I am wrong, but I defienietly have a dirty mind…
Kobe Beef hot dog Aliens not Kobe Bryant.
It has been a slow burn of a season but after that flash forward at the end of this episode, HOLY HELL, it is going to get good and nasty.
Hilarious and spot on recap. XO
Dang, I missed this epi (away in London Dahling . Sadly not at the penthouse in the Mayfair.)
Gotta catch up before the next one.
Oh, are they going to have an episode this week or is it the Olympics?
I just watched this episode. George is a dirty old man. Aviva’s is pretty boring and most likely trying to stay on the show. Her fathers antics add to her story. I hope he is really not that gross that it was more for the cameras.
There is something seriously wrong with Avivas’ penis-wrinkle father. He scares me.