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Wednesday, July 4, 2012
12:11 pm
27 Comments
Heather and Aviva rendezvous at the infamous park bench to chit chat about stuff. There’s not much for the squirrels and vagrants to see in this episode of As the Park Bench Turns. No shiny shellac nails or blackmail this time around.
I’m a drool, I mean, a cool girl, right?
Aviva tells Heather that she wants to go to London with the “cool girls” and wants Heatherie to know she’s not in an alliance with Ramona. Aviva thinks that would be a nightmare and seems insecure during this discussion. First, her son not riding a bike on two wheels like Heather’s daughter. Second, thinking she’s going to get lumped in with Pinot Googly Eyes versus The Cool Girls.
If she’s afraid of being viewed in alliance with the Axis of Ramona, then why keep hounding Heather to invite her? London has spoken. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender to Ramona and her wino ways.
The point of Heather inviting some of the ladies to London was to have fun and let her hair down. This is hard for Aviva to grasp since she has a hair-down phobia.
Come to think of it, she isn’t even going on the trip, so why is she trying to dictate the invitations to Heather’s trip? Could Aviva be trying to get Ramona out of the country for some nefarious reason? With the utter lack of drama or comedy in this season to date, we have to work the angles ourselves to keep interest up until something breaks.
Exclude, schmexclude! Just stop busting my balls, Aviva!
Part of Heather’s trip is business, so she is concerned about what will come out of Ramona’s crazy-as-hell ethanol-fueled mouth–slurring and screeching. Aviva makes the point that it has to make someone feel rotten to be the ONLY person not invited. It becomes a matter of semantics since Heather feels like she didn’t invite the bitch she hates being around–especially while meeting with important business contacts–while Aviva wants her to own it that she excluded Ramona.
Aviva tells the camera it reminds her of school when she was the last person picked in gym class for sports teams. A young kid with one leg being picked last for a sports team is a little different than a grown ass woman with no self-control who screams out whatever comes into her pinot filled hat. Whatever, Aviva, you’re a shit stirrer. And thanks for that.
My hands go left…then right…then left…then right…and the poop goes round and round.
Camera Heatherie points out that Aviva isn’t a businesswoman and doesn’t understand the damage Ramona’s batshit crazy can do with international business partners. She also notes that Aviva is giving Ramona too many glasses, umm, passes. It’s about time to put that leg to good use and give Ramona a swift kick in the ass with it to knock some sense into her. Heather says she’s not being a mean girl, but Avivivie thinks that she is. The “we aren’t ever going to be mean girls” pact is eroding quickly, and it’s only episode 5. Geez, has it really taken this long?
Heather is curing the mean girl-ness by inviting Ramona to go shopping at her friend’s boutique, along with Carole and Aviva. Unless it’s a boutique filled with clingy satin cocktail dresses and gallons of wine spiked with thorazine, this isn’t going to end well. What’s currently not going over well with Heather is Avivivivies “crawling so far up Ramona’s ass”. Ewwwww! We don’t need any mention of her ass, Heather, thankyouverymuch.
We’re on a bench. We’re on a M’F'ing bench. Where be T-Pain?
The producers just keep hitting below the belt, moving from Ramona’s ass to LuAnn’s ovaries. It’s like a box of chocolates on RHONY! LuAnn is visiting a fertility acupuncture clinic. She is very upfront that she knows conceiving is difficult for a woman in her, well, something well after 40. Will LuAnn get anything more out of getting pricked with little needles than she has been getting poked with a little prick? But best of luck to her.
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27 Comments
Great recap, thank you! I discussed the crazy amount of passes that Crazy Eyes gets in the mini . Ramona cares about Ramona above anyone else. I would be afraid to have her around my business associates as well because of that. No question that she is a business woman but she could careless about Heather and her business.
I guess time will tell if Ramona is reading Heather before/better than the other’s.
I love reading the comments as much as the recap. Debates are great.
BTW, Happy 4th of July!
Maybe it’s just me but for someone SO “involved” in the fashion world, isn’t Heather’s dye job a little dated?
Heather is so damn fake…please, lets change her name to Pleather! Great recap as always
Heather’s a bitch. Sorry. It’s her choice to exclude but give Ramona the courtesy of telling her and not having to find out that EVERYONE else was invited and she wasn’t.
But in the name of professionalism how professional is it to invite 5 of your friends on a business trip.
And you are going to invite Sonja who forgot her pants?!?!!?!?
Wait why am I so upset about this? Oh yeah because I hate people who try to be hip and use slang that’s 5 years old. HOLLA!!!
I confess that I love the chunky highlights. Even though they are outdated I would have them now except the woman who has been working on my hair for 12 years refuses. She’s right… but for whatever reason (lack of good taste?) I love them.
Love the caption “You have it all? How about an invitation to London?” Too funny.
It is Heather choice not to invite Ramona and Romona has to deal with it. I don’t think Ramona invited Luanne to Scary Island (it has been a while), and Luanne was okay with it. The first season Ramona excuded Jill from a girls party at her Hampton house. Even after Jill called Ramona she still did not invite her and said she could not invite everyone. Heather mentioning she did not want Ramona around her business associates brings up the scene when Ramona dissed the Kodak company to Jill right before the announcement of her being a spokesperson (and we all know Ramona left with the Kodak goodie bag). Stealing Carole’s glory about the book deal when the entire shopping scene Ramona knew about the Target deal (and maybe in earlier scenes) but only brought it up immediatly after Carole’s annoucement. Inappropiate timely on Ramona’s part.
Right or wrong, Ramona prides herself of telling everyone her opinion as though she is the true teller. (Remember on the bridge she told Bethany she has no friends and she will mess up her relationship with Jason.. cruel). She must accept some people are not comfortable of people pointing out their character flaws and there do not want to spend much time around her.
The only person (on the show, and not this site) is Aviva. She is almost begging Heather to take her off her hands. And finally, excuding Ramona makes great drama. Her eyes are going crazy.
Am I the only one who has the impression that Ramona doesn’t really care if she goes to London, she just wants to get to the bottom of Pleather’s dislike? Ramona seems to be a direct person and I think she detects Pleather’s fakeness and blatant attempt to align with the Countess. I understand the “you talk too much” comment in the first episode was rude, especially when you first meet someone. But, like others have mentioned in the mini-cap and in previous postings, Pleather is just being a bitch because she can be and she thinks that she has one-upped Ramona in this case and she is basking in the glory of it all. I am so looking forward to Pleather’s comeuppance and her getting her ass handed to her at the reunion.
AWESOME !!!! Cannot wait to watch this episode again.
I kinda like Heather’s highlights too– and I am lovin’ her pointy-toe boots– they are soooooooo downtown NY. I have a pair of black pumps like that– bought them a few years ago and wear them as much as possible.
@6 TVSnarky—you are correct about Ramona– she really cannot stand to be ignored or over-looked. If you have a sprained ankle–well then she broke her leg. She has to top whatever you have– we have seen this charming trait alot with her.
Hey kids– Just a thought here– Is a bulk if Ramona’s problem with Heather b/c Heather is also a business woman??? Heather is at least 10 years younger that Ramona–that I am sure is a real issue for our “55 year old, with regular periods and great skin who has never had plastic surgery” and dipping 8 toes in the ole menopause pool.
I am sure a younger woman who is making a lot of success for herself is such a threat to the Big R.
@Hot-C My answer is yes, Ramona can not handle another successful business woman on the show. I believe she went after Cindy Barshop last year for the same reason. Cindy just could not be a witch to Ramona. My question about Ramona’s jealousy of Cindy even made it into the Reunion show. Maybe Ramona thought she is a guru and could impart her business wisdom on Heather and she now knows Heather would not use her notebook idea.
I also want to add, periods can still show up after menopause if you are takeing hormone drugs, even OTC. I found this out last year. A bit of a shock, which maybe why Ramona was not ready for hers when she was in Morraco. Just a thought.
Ramona………… take a fucking hint. Heather does notwant to invite you to London. If she she did she would have done so by now. Let it go………….. your attempts to get Heather to see how so very wrong she is in not inviting you is very pathetic.
Good for Heather for sticking to her guns. Ramona should just let it go. She can afford to go on her own private trip to London. She doesn’t even like the woman. Althnough I will say that perhaps Heather is getting a little bit of joy out of making Ramona squirm. Who talks too much now?
Aviva Aviva Aviva. Bless her heart. She is definitely trying too hard. I can relate to being picked last for PE though.
Yep Pleather and her stupid ass London trip is ruining the entire show. Who cares who she invites, when they go, who gets their own room? Just go on your business trip, do a presentation and bring your ass home.
Shit
@tvsnarkeling #6…Actually Ramona did in fact invite LuMann on her trip. She invited everyone, but the Cuntess was pretending to be a good mom who didn’t want to miss her daughter’s birthday…a lie that Jill called her out on by saying it didn’t matter if it was V’s b-day, it was just an excuse because
Jill told her not toshe didn’t want to go. Also..re the season 1 Jill exclusion thing. That wasn’t a Bravo sanctioned event where she invited ALL of the housewives except Jill. Lu was the only housewife she actually invited & Bethanney was there to give cooking lessons to her actual friends.@Derek#7…You are definitely not alone. I think that’s EXACTLY whats going on. It has nothing to do with the trip really. IMO she just wants to know where all the unwarranted animosity is coming from.
@Hot Cawfee#9…That theory may have some credence if it weren’t for Bethenney. She is a highly successful, younger woman & Ramona doesn’t have a problem with her so there’s that. And Bethanney is actually more successful than Ramona where Heather is not. I don’t see Ramona being threatened by any other successful business woman because she’s never shown those tendencies. All those things can be said about Carol as well and Ramona has expressed her admiration of her accomplishment so the whole ‘threatened by other successful women’ thing is kind of a wash.
@tvsnarkeling#10….Um Ramona never had a problem with Cindy. In fact, they were actually friends. Ramona insulted her brother in Cindy’s eyes & it all went down hill from there. Her business sense had nothing to do with why Ramona had a problem with her & actually SHE was the one with the problem with Ramona and not the other way around.
But that actually does bring up a good case in point. When Ramona found out Cindy had a problem with her she got flustered and wanted to talk to her brother to clear things up at the party but he wouldn’t talk to her. She acted the exact same way with him that she is with Heather which furthers Derek’s point imo. She wants to get to the bottom of why Heather has an issue with her more than she wants a London invite.
And as I’ve said before, yes Heather has every right not to invite Ramona, but Heather is a bitch period. She knows exactly what she’s doing and she’s getting a kick out of getting to Ramona. She’ll get hers & I can’t wait!
This business of counts and princes is ridiculous. Whether a count is higher in rank than a prince depends on the family and the country. Victorian novels are full of princes and princesses who have no clout at all, and counts who are higher in the social rank than some kings. Plus, the title counts for nothing unless you’re born into it, especially if you’re a foreigner, and if you divorce the guy you have no business using it, no matter what these hos’ lawyers tell them.
Love watching the Ramona fans do circles trying to justify Ramona’s absurd reactions/behaviors. Hilarious!!
Heather’s so not even trying to make this an issue – that’s all Ramona and Aviva, at least it’s obvious to anyone with eyes and ears (and of normal psyche). Love that the other ladies recognize how psycho RaMOANER is. Whiny, shrill, I wouldn’t want that harpy shrew there either (like Londoners need more annoying loud American tourists, particularly drunk shrill women in skimpy plastic dresses). And Heather’s made it pretty clear why Ramona isn’t going, TO RAMONA. There’s no “getting to the bottom” of anything. The dislike is more than justifiable on Heather’s part (particularly considering how rude Ramona has been to her ) and has nothing to do with Heather being “fake”. But love how that’s such a go-to reaction by her fans whenever someone expresses a dislike of Ramona. Like clockwork.
I really don’t know whose more ridiculous at this point – Icki Vicki or Ramona.
Oh, and great recap!
@Justme: In a word…yes.
@Stacey: YES! yes.yes.yes. Pleather it MUST be (please?). She is not only fake like pleather, she is also a “lesser” ingredient – read: lesser human being. Oh, and some try to pass off Pleather as the real deal (though it can’t compare to the real thing), and I’m seeing Heather again!
But I’m sure I would only want people around me that I enjoyed and respected on an overseas adventure. So, point to Pleather for sticking to her guns.
Pleather sounds good to me, too. All in agreement? If not, speak now or forever hold your peace.
@BSL…Pleather FTW!
@LOL…Umm…What? Heather is a bitch. She came on the show with an agenda & that was to ‘take down Ramona’ and prove how ‘real’ she is. She’s loving the bs around London because she thinks she has one upped her. She has the power regarding THIS trip but she will get what’s coming to her.
@15 Mary Edith– correct–and well hell kids– Lulu and Carole are both American born–we don’t have titles here–well other than Mrs., Mr. Miss Dr. and the like. I will be a real bitch and snark that Carole’s late husband is a blooded prince–his father was a Prince. Lulu’s exhusband’s family had their titled bestowed upon them for doing something– was it completing the Panama Canal???
OK GASMI– I GOTS DISH!!!!!!!
Have my current DansPapers in hand ( Long Island newsy weekly) and our NY Housewives are in it!!!!
Will start with former Housewife–Crackers Bensimon and I quote ” Kelly Bensimon’s home on Further Lane in East Hampton that was for sale in January for $ 12 million, has been brought down to $6.999 million dollars. The property is 5800 square feet and sits on 1.2 acres”. I have alot of the realestate mags and have not seen a picture of the home. Could be a very private sale she is looking to do.
You want Aviva Drescher??? Cause I got it for you—-”Aviva Drescher, star of “The Real Housewives of New York City, and ex-husband Harry Dubin reportedly got into a heated scuffle over child support last weekend. The provocation? Sandwiches at the Golden Pear in Southampton.”
And writer Catlean Demonchy interviewed our own Ramona Singer–its a Q and A and gives a little info like that she graduated from FIT. Its the July 6, 2012 issue–page 84.
These are all items I pulled from Dans Papers—you can read it all on line at http://www.danshamptons.com No kids– I dont write for them–lol. I knew you’d all love to know this
@cawfee, I was just yesterday reading a biography of the playwright Ibsen. He was on a trip to Egypt to see the opening of the Suez Canal. I was yawning along, but snapped to attention when he was introduced to “De Lesseps, the builder of the canal.” “BASTARD!” was my totally knee-jerk reaction. “Bitch wife! Snob! Cuntess! — Wait, where am I?” So yes, that title only goes back to the mid-nineteenth century. Not kosher at all.
Thank for recapping this adult version of “why I do not go back to my high school reunion”. Did the majority of an hour go by on this show focusing on the damn London trip? Really? If you gave 16 year old girls expresso frappachinos, credit cards, and a store to film in, you would have a show.
Ramona, give it the fuck up, already. You no going to London, Heather doesn’t like you (can’t blame her). Move on.org already or pull a Zarin and show up. I just want this freakin’ trip to happen already.
Heather – cute kid and that little dose of home life made me continue to like you despite the “Holla!” and that I like your new name “Pleather”.
Aviva – shit stirring is and Rammona ass kissing is is not a good look on you
Luann – who are you kidding?
Caroline – Is there any way that Idris Elba can show up on your new series? Walk on part…shirtless?
Here are photos of Crackers Bensimon’s Hampton place.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2089911/Former-Real-Housewives-star-Kelly-Bensimon-puts-12M-Hamptons-mansion-sale.html
Man, Heather is one scary-looking drag queen!
Still love Carole though!
I’m not jumping on the Carole love train. I learned my lesson with Adrienne Maloof. That went for like 3 seasons without doing 1 trashy thing. To the point where I thought she wasn’t even qualified to be a Real Housewife. But then last season we saw!
So I’m going to bide my time. Because we all best believe Miss Andy signed Carole up for a reason.
Almost forgot about Sonya – I take it that the reason she is doing business in her bedroom is because of repairs to the house or is it just her “Mrs. Havisham” phase and we are a wedding dress away from cray-cray? And what exactly are her “interns” learning?