Sin City Rules Recap: She Bleeping Said, Bleeping She Said

Sin City Rules

By NouveauPoor | Saturday, January 5, 2013 | 10:24 am | 8 Comments
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Posted in: Recaps, Sin City Rules

***Please welcome your Auditiongasm runner up (by like two percentage points. Really close, people), NouveauPoor!!

Happy bleeping birthday to bleeping Amy’s bleeping mom

Hey there, gasmii! I’m feeling very fortunate to be one of the newest recappers here at the ‘gasm. For my very first assignment, I’ll be taking over the recaps for Sin City Rules, TLC’s new show about five “high-powered” Las Vegas women (aka five middle-aged Vegas chicks who agreed to do a reality show for some publicity and a paycheck or two). If you want to catch up on the first two episodes, click here for a recap of episode 1 and here for the Winter Auditiongasm finalists’ take on episode 2. We’re a few episodes behind and I’m catching up as fast as I can; please bear with me as I get the hang of this!

Episode 3’s brief Previouslies remind us of the ongoing drama between Lana and Alicia; namely, Lana has declared Alicia public enemy number one due to Alicia’s purported penchant for sleeping with married men. Lana, who has clearly had some work done herself:

(and annoyingly sports sunglasses at night)

tells anyone within earshot of Alicia’s homewrecking ways and has maturely taken to calling Alicia “The Lizard” in reference to Alicia’s surgically enhanced appearance:

Shocked? Happy? Grieving? You be the judge.

We’re reminded of the showdown between these two during last episode’s Awkward Wine Tasting at Lori’s. Lana tries to apologize by saying something along the lines of “I shouldn’t have judged you before I knew you and that was wrong but it turns out you totally DO suck and my plastic surgeon is better than yours so there” while the other ladies look on in horrific discomfort. Eventually Lana leaves in a huff, rescinding her “apology” as she goes. Alicia is incredulous.

Or maybe not. It’s really hard to tell.

We learned last episode that Alicia has been separated from her husband for SEVEN YEARS, but never got the back story. Well speculate no longer, because this episode opens with Alicia and her soon-to-be-ex-husband Loring

who was clearly named by a pageant mom

having dinner at a Japanese restaurant with Alicia’s tiny dog Sparkle in tow. Pageant names for everyone! Also, dogs in restaurants…how appetizing.

I just pooped in your purse.

Alicia interviews that Loring is her “ex,” to whom she’s been married for “about 18 years,” and that they’ve been divorcing for “six and a half, seven years now.” First off, he’s not technically your ex. Secondly, unless there are some tax implications of which we are unaware or you’re waiting for Aunt Mavis to kick it for an inheritance or something, I’m going to have to strongly recommend y’all find new attorneys STAT.

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NouveauPoor

Shrunk right out of the middle class, NouveauPoor is a former full-time patent attorney in her third year of severe underemployment.  Following a tough decision to stop paying for cable, she found solace in TVgasm recaps and is thrilled to become a part of such a talented team of snark.  She is currently living in Las Vegas with her three-year-old daughter.

8 Comments

  1. 1
    WaffleBoy
    Posted January 7, 2013 at 7:47 am

    This was a great recap, thanks! Oh, and people who order spicy crab rolls very very very mild, like almost not spicy…crazy mild are why God gave line cooks saliva.

  2. 2
    labowner
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 10:39 am

    What is with Lana and why don’t we ever see her husband?

  3. 3
    JimbobJones JimbobJones
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 10:43 am

    @labowner — I’m fairly positive that she ate him.

  4. 4
    labowner
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 11:03 am

    JimbobJones I would believe that. Wonder if he is an iffy businessman, thus he doesn’t want to be shown. Oh and Lana very easy to be rich in a place that is known to be very inexpensive. Take your show to NYC or LA and see how far you get. Her sister is a train wreck from hell.

  5. 5
    labowner
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 1:08 pm

    Does Marco not work at all?

  6. 6
    NouveauPoor NouveauPoor
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    Hey guys! Thanks for stopping by.

    I stand corrected re: Marco.

    “Prior to working as a professional hairdresser, Traniello was a real estate agent and the captain of an oil ship In 1999, while on vacation in America, Traniello met his future wife, professional poker player Jennifer Harman, in the parking garage of The Bellagio hotel and casino, where their cars were parked next to each other.”

    Also, Victor Fuchs is a health economist. Sounds pretty shady to me.

    “Victor R. Fuchs is an American health economist. He has been called “the dean of health economists” by New York Times economics columnist David Leonhardt. He is the Henry J. Kaiser, Jr. Professor at Stanford University, emeritus. Since 1962, he has been a research associate at the National Bureau of Economic Research, and is the co-director of the FRESH-Thinking Project, CASBS, at Stanford University.”

    So kind of sounds like he’s in California most of the time. And nearing 80.

    Thanks Wikipedia!

  7. 7
    NouveauPoor NouveauPoor
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 1:47 pm

    That May-December thing is REALLY common out here, by the way; much more so than my native Detroit. When I first moved here 7 years ago I totally didn’t get that I was actually being hit on by older men, like really older men. It just seems way more acceptable or sometimes even expected. Gotta love Vegas girls!

  8. 8
    labowner
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 2:59 pm

    Oh my mother loving god look at what I found. Lana is reality tv whore. Who’d a thunk.

    http://www.wetv.com/shows/platinum-weddings/episodes/season-1/lana-victor

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