Sin City Rules Recap: She Bleeping Said, Bleeping She Said

Now that they don’t live under the same roof, they’re apparently the best of friends. This is unsurprising after we hear her order “a spicy crab cut roll but very very very mild, like almost not spicy…crazy mild.” Particular much? Also, if you’re that not into spicy food, maybe you should order something without “spicy” in the name. Just a thought.

Alicia interviews that they got married very young and “you change a lot from the time you’re 19 years old.” So if they’ve been married for 18 years and she wants us to believe she met him at 19, even if they dated for like three years before they got hitched…we’re supposed to believe Alicia’s only 40? Bwa ha ha ha haaaaaa!

Given her ostrich-like denial of the complete inability to effectively hide unflattering information since the birth of the interwebs – a trait often seen among those who were above a certain age in the early 90s – I’m guessing she’s a few years past 40. A quick search reveals that Alicia was Miss Nevada USA in 1985, making her either 13 then or a really terrible liar now.

Also who knew Sin City Rules was actually TLC’s first foray into “Toddlers & Tiaras: Where Are They Now?” Clutching tight to tattered shreds of youth and beauty in the hopes of earning love while surrounded by sad reminders of their glory days like dogs with names like Sparkle. Ha! We knew it!

Also, potential substance abuse issues and multiple failed relationships. Yay pageants!

(To be fair, I will attest that those last two don’t necessarily have anything to do with pageants.)

Alicia tells Loring about the drama with Lana and he advises her to rise above. These two seem to get along so well and given how long the divorce is taking I’m wondering why they don’t just stay together. Is Loring boring? Were they constantly warring?

Oh. Seems like maybe problems in the bedroom.

Over at AM720, Amy’s mom Wendy is being interviewed about her new book Vegas Rag Doll and has dragged Amy along with her.

Wendy’s memoir opens with: ”Wendy only knew the body in the freezer as Old Joe. She had no idea when it got there or its name when it had been alive.” Sounds fun! Amy brags (?) that out of every mobster in Las Vegas, her father and brother “killed the most” and I’m wondering how she knows. Do they have a score card for that sort of thing? Maybe annual awards? Most kills! Best beheading! Least bystanders injured! Mob life fascinates me.

Amy is asked whether she’s ever used her mob connections for her own personal gain. She responds by saying she’s a normal person like any other but it’s really not a good idea to get on her bad side because you can get “stung.” I’m not convinced. Also, you totally didn’t answer the question.  We do, however, learn that Wendy taught Amy how to shoot guns when she was a little girl because she wanted Amy to be able to protect herself, bringing us two new categories for the Mob Awards: Youngest Assassin and “Self-Defense” Tee Hee.