Oh joy! They’ve gotten a friend to write them a song to use in their next campaign. It’s called “Better Than Beautiful” with a chorus of “You’re Better Than Beautiful,” not really helping either’s case. The friend’s name?
Michael Angelo. Please no.
I actually don’t mind his little ditty, but the name is AWFUL. Maybe one day he’ll meet a nice girl named Donna Tello and they can settle down and raise some kids. Leo Nardo. Raph A. Elle. Ridic U. Lus.
Lori loves the song and as she envisions the future of her company, she’s so overcome that she even cries a little. Ron and Lori high five and we cut to Lori playing the song on her phone while being interviewed, chair dancing her little heart out.
Oh oh oh, oh-oh ohhhhh…oh oh oh, oh-oh ohhhhh…
It’s actually all pretty cute. Until Ron says “I love that you reach for the stars, Lor” in a really creepy I’d-take-you-right-here-right-now-if-the-cameras-weren’t-around kind of way. He seems like a nice guy but whoa.
What Loring needs: magical vibrating hands
We head to Jennifer’s apartment where Lana has arrived. Jen comments how odd it is that one of her dogs stopped barking almost right away, which apparently never happens. Lana says she gets along great with animals; it’s people she has trouble with. And apparently reptiles.
Over mango and dragon fruit, Lana tells Jen about her meeting with Alicia later that day. Lana is expecting an apology from a very reticent Alicia which, wha huh? She tells Jen that if that doesn’t happen and Alicia wants to drag this thing out “I will systematically destroy and annihilate her.”
Maybe having more women in my life is overrated.
Jen interviews what we’re all thinking: “I don’t think this meeting is going to go well at ALL.” Doesn’t take a pro poker player to figure that one out, Jen. She then gives Alicia way more credit than I would, saying “If I had to make a bet, it’s going to be a fist fight. Three rounds, technical knockout, Lana wins.” Three rounds? Even assuming Alicia would risk her manicured nails and remaining dignity in a fight of some sort, which she never would, there’s not a chance in Hades it would take more than three seconds for Lana to lay her out.
Definitely a Mean Girl
Next we see Amy, dressed in black and white per usual, at a costume shop where she’s found a costume which is…
…also black and white.
Way to expand that color palette. In lieu of the usual low-key flowers and cake for her mom’s birthday,
TLC Amy is planning a surprise gangster-themed bash at the Mob Museum. Lori meets her at the costume shop and Amy expresses her concern over inviting the rest of the ladies.
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