Sin City Rules Recap: She Bleeping Said, Bleeping She Said

Sin City Rules

By NouveauPoor | Saturday, January 5, 2013 | 10:24 am | 8 Comments
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Posted in: Recaps, Sin City Rules

Oh joy! They’ve gotten a friend to write them a song to use in their next campaign. It’s called “Better Than Beautiful” with a chorus of “You’re Better Than Beautiful,” not really helping either’s case. The friend’s name?

Michael Angelo. Please no.

I actually don’t mind his little ditty, but the name is AWFUL. Maybe one day he’ll meet a nice girl named Donna Tello and they can settle down and raise some kids. Leo Nardo. Raph A. Elle. Ridic U. Lus.

Lori loves the song and as she envisions the future of her company, she’s so overcome that she even cries a little. Ron and Lori high five and we cut to Lori playing the song on her phone while being interviewed, chair dancing her little heart out.

Oh oh oh, oh-oh ohhhhh…oh oh oh, oh-oh ohhhhh…

It’s actually all pretty cute. Until Ron says “I love that you reach for the stars, Lor” in a really creepy I’d-take-you-right-here-right-now-if-the-cameras-weren’t-around kind of way. He seems like a nice guy but whoa.

What Loring needs: magical vibrating hands

We head to Jennifer’s apartment where Lana has arrived. Jen comments how odd it is that one of her dogs stopped barking almost right away, which apparently never happens. Lana says she gets along great with animals; it’s people she has trouble with. And apparently reptiles.

Over mango and dragon fruit, Lana tells Jen about her meeting with Alicia later that day. Lana is expecting an apology from a very reticent Alicia which, wha huh? She tells Jen that if that doesn’t happen and Alicia wants to drag this thing out “I will systematically destroy and annihilate her.”

Maybe having more women in my life is overrated.

Jen interviews what we’re all thinking: “I don’t think this meeting is going to go well at ALL.” Doesn’t take a pro poker player to figure that one out, Jen. She then gives Alicia way more credit than I would, saying “If I had to make a bet, it’s going to be a fist fight. Three rounds, technical knockout, Lana wins.” Three rounds? Even assuming Alicia would risk her manicured nails and remaining dignity in a fight of some sort, which she never would, there’s not a chance in Hades it would take more than three seconds for Lana to lay her out.

Definitely a Mean Girl

Next we see Amy, dressed in black and white per usual, at a costume shop where she’s found a costume which is…

…also black and white.

Way to expand that color palette. In lieu of the usual low-key flowers and cake for her mom’s birthday, TLC Amy is planning a surprise gangster-themed bash at the Mob Museum. Lori meets her at the costume shop and Amy expresses her concern over inviting the rest of the ladies.

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NouveauPoor

Shrunk right out of the middle class, NouveauPoor is a former full-time patent attorney in her third year of severe underemployment.  Following a tough decision to stop paying for cable, she found solace in TVgasm recaps and is thrilled to become a part of such a talented team of snark.  She is currently living in Las Vegas with her three-year-old daughter.

8 Comments

  1. 1
    WaffleBoy
    Posted January 7, 2013 at 7:47 am

    This was a great recap, thanks! Oh, and people who order spicy crab rolls very very very mild, like almost not spicy…crazy mild are why God gave line cooks saliva.

  2. 2
    labowner
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 10:39 am

    What is with Lana and why don’t we ever see her husband?

  3. 3
    JimbobJones JimbobJones
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 10:43 am

    @labowner — I’m fairly positive that she ate him.

  4. 4
    labowner
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 11:03 am

    JimbobJones I would believe that. Wonder if he is an iffy businessman, thus he doesn’t want to be shown. Oh and Lana very easy to be rich in a place that is known to be very inexpensive. Take your show to NYC or LA and see how far you get. Her sister is a train wreck from hell.

  5. 5
    labowner
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 1:08 pm

    Does Marco not work at all?

  6. 6
    NouveauPoor NouveauPoor
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    Hey guys! Thanks for stopping by.

    I stand corrected re: Marco.

    “Prior to working as a professional hairdresser, Traniello was a real estate agent and the captain of an oil ship In 1999, while on vacation in America, Traniello met his future wife, professional poker player Jennifer Harman, in the parking garage of The Bellagio hotel and casino, where their cars were parked next to each other.”

    Also, Victor Fuchs is a health economist. Sounds pretty shady to me.

    “Victor R. Fuchs is an American health economist. He has been called “the dean of health economists” by New York Times economics columnist David Leonhardt. He is the Henry J. Kaiser, Jr. Professor at Stanford University, emeritus. Since 1962, he has been a research associate at the National Bureau of Economic Research, and is the co-director of the FRESH-Thinking Project, CASBS, at Stanford University.”

    So kind of sounds like he’s in California most of the time. And nearing 80.

    Thanks Wikipedia!

  7. 7
    NouveauPoor NouveauPoor
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 1:47 pm

    That May-December thing is REALLY common out here, by the way; much more so than my native Detroit. When I first moved here 7 years ago I totally didn’t get that I was actually being hit on by older men, like really older men. It just seems way more acceptable or sometimes even expected. Gotta love Vegas girls!

  8. 8
    labowner
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 2:59 pm

    Oh my mother loving god look at what I found. Lana is reality tv whore. Who’d a thunk.

    http://www.wetv.com/shows/platinum-weddings/episodes/season-1/lana-victor

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