We start with the same old you suck, no you suck. Then Lana busts out with: “Now I understand why you’re not married and why you can’t keep a man.” Wow. Apparently since she’s “banished” Alicia, Lana feels no need to show any sort of restraint. Although I guess the last time they saw each other, Alicia did call Lana a lot lizard.
Amy comes out and she’s PISSED. She interviews that the Mob Museum is like her second home, and she’s very big on not disrespecting home environments. The ladies just keep at it. Alicia finally responds to the original allegations, saying that she has never, ever slept with a married man in her life. Interesting.
Alicia mentions slander. Leave it to the pageant girl to bring in the lawyers. Sigh. Also, slander of a “public figure” is really hard to prove, so with Alicia so hell-bent on continually establishing her fame, she should probably ix-nay on the ander-slay. Or stop trying so hard to be a public figure. Either way.
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Lana says she’s just repeating what she’s read and tells Alicia to google herself. Alicia is all “yeah, I’m not narcissistic enough to google myself unlike YOU.” Um, then clearly you were alive in the 60s, darlin’. What person with even a rudimentary understanding of the Internet hasn’t googled their name? Or their family? Or someone before going out with them for the first time? Or am I just a stalker?
Lana interviews that without “her mouthpiece, that little barking chihuahua” (aka Alicia’s best friend Tricia), Alicia doesn’t have much to say. But guess whose sidekick DOES have something to say? Hey look it’s Natalya!!!!
And her boobies.
Queen of Class herself is there, liquored up (someone points out her potential substance abuse issues) and ready for a fight. Natalya says the problem isn’t Lana, it’s Alicia who’s “57, unemployed, with a dog who wears shoes, no husband, no life, really nothing going for her…and the thing is, it looks like you’re wearing pantyhose when you don’t have any on; you should really have your legs done.”
Lana says they’re leaving and that’s how we end our episode: with Natalya being escorted out by Lana and the bodyguards, screaming things back at the rest of the ladies who stand around shaking their heads.
“…just like your rat looking face…”
“…irrelevant, wannabe bleep bleep reporter…”
“…bleep you, you bleeping dirty whore…”
“…happy birthday to bleeping Amy’s mother…”
So what did you think? Are you over this show or will you be sad if it doesn’t get picked up? Have any suggestions on improving the recaps?
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