Are you ready for another Season of Downtown Kody Brown and his far more likeable family? More importantly, are you ready to dissect the shit out of this show? If you said yes and yes, then welcome to another round of SISTER WIVES RECAPS!! Oh, how I missed them…
Let’s review where we left the family. If you recall, Robyn has a son – Solomon!
“We have a son! I might be a little late in asking, but these aren’t the good sheets, right?”
Christine tried to make amends for her behavior with embroidery:
Robyn offered to serve as Meri’s surrogate.
Offering to do this for a friend = LOVE
We begin exactly where we left off, with the birth of Brown Baby # 17, Solomon! Janelle says she was surprised at how willing her kids were to get up at the ass crack of dawn to see Solomon the day he was born. Well, YEAH! When it comes to sizing up the competition, it’s good to get a head start. Christine says her son Payden loves the new baby, which is pretty cute! AWWW. How do the teens feel? They insist that having a new baby is great. JUST. GREAT.
“We’re thrilled to have Solomon around. JUST. THRILLED.” Clearly.
We’re reminded again of Robyn’s offer to Meri to be her surrogate. I’m all for sharing with your besties, but I have my limits. Robyn is not just Meri’s bestie, however, she is her SISTER WIFE bestie and that means they don’t just share the man, they share the uterus. Touching! Robyn knows how hard it is to deal with disappointment and she doesn’t want Meri to go through it anymore. Meanwhile, Meri is still thinking about it and Robyn is not pushing the issue. Plus, Solomon needs to be off the teat before Robyn can get preggo again.
According to Kody, it’s going to be a big year for the Browns! They’ve got a new baby, new businesses, and hopefully they’ll build new homes on the same property. Plus, the first of the Brown kids will be headed off for college! Remember the personal trainer and the gym plan? Turns out the gym is in full effect! Someone go to Vegas and check it out, please. I would, but I don’t know how to not get drunk in Vegas so I probably won’t make it.
“This year is going to be like Sammy Hagar and Jesus forming a super group: HUGE”
Since celebrating Christmas in four different homes is logistically difficult and depressing for the Browns, they have decided to rent a huge house so they can be together. Speaking of living together, Mona the sassy real estate agent has helped the family narrow down the land search to three lots. First up is Property A (the culdesac from last season) but it’s expensive. Property B has a house on it already, plus you can have livestock! It’s not in the school zone they want, however. Education or Chickens? It’s a tough call.
As they discuss their home hunt, the ladies share what kind of dream rooms they want in their new homes. Robyn wants a craft room, and Christine wants a wrestling /anger release room. Yep, that sounds about right.
They visit Property C last, which has an amazing view of the strip. It also looks like a body dump for the mob:
“There’s a discount thanks to all the cold cases that will inevitably be reopened as soon as you break ground and unearth all the bodies buried here”
Robyn doesn’t think the lights of Vegas are that great because lights are shiny, exciting and bright, which clashes with her demure wounded puppy deal. Kody thinks the view is awesome and for the first time I can remember, Kody and I agree on something.