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Kody remarks that the easiest and best role was Jesus, and Solomon nailed it. Are you telling me a BABY acted like a baby?? WHAT A TALENTED KID. Let’s award him a Tony.
Christmas morning! Too bad they can’t afford the rental house:
The family goes to the living room to open presents and they begin with the kids gift exchange. One of the little kids made Mariah a model of their street using a shoebox and filled it with gravel because if you tilt it back and forth, it sounds like the cars driving by. I’m no fortune teller, but I see lots of weed and an unfinished fine arts degree program in this kids’ future.
Mykelti got Ysabel a manicure set and Ysabel wigs out in excitement. Seriously, is anyone monitoring the Sudafed, sugar, or caffeine intake of this child? She was moving so much that I could not get a screenshot without a ridiculous amount of motion blur.
As for the wives, Kody did well with his presents. He got Janelle an electronic tablet, a ruby and diamond necklace for Meri, a ring for Christine and a guitar for Robyn! Sad poor Robyn wanted a guitar for a decade but she could not afford one. I feel like everytime something good happens to Robyn, we are reminded of her terrible pre-Brown life and it’s a downer.
Christine wanted a ring, and she got her ring. The way she started describing it, I thought she was going to say it was the wrong ring and I started to get heartburn from the stress of having to listen to her bitch about it forever, but it was the right ring. Thank Jeebus. It’s a Christmas miracle!
What did Kody get from his Wives? He got the Holy Grail of guns! How exciting…I guess. Al the kids seem to know what kind of gun it is, and Hunter is all stoked that it’s a “REAL” firearm with holographic sight. Keep that gun AWAY from Hunter. And Christine.
We only get to see Robyn’s gift to the ladies because she apparently outdid them all. She gives them the a piece of jewelry she designed. Even more exciting, it’s first piece of jewelry from their upcoming line, My Sister Wife’s closet! Meri is super excited for her BFF, and Janelle and Christine are stoked too.
Kody asks Christine if the ring got him out of the doghouse, and Christine says they need to work on things. Christine doesn’t feel like Kody wants to spend time with her, and that their time together is not quality time. They both agree to work on it, and Kody kisses her / puts her in a headlock and leaves. There is as much chemistry between them as baking soda and more baking soda. Also, that kissing style? CREEPY:
To top off Christmas, the parents take the kids to Property A to see the house they’re building on the cul de sac…wait, what? When did that happen? Whatevs. The kids are excited to find out that they will all be on the same property again. Kody reflects on how tough things have been since last Christmas, when they had to leave Utah in a hurry and how Vegas has been a suckfest in a lot of ways. For an activity, the moms got snowflake kites for the kids to fly on the property and “dream” according to Robin. Yeah, I think they mostly just ran around and shit. I didn’t see a whole lot of dreaming.
What did you think? Are you going to be able to stomach Christine? Do you hear sad violins playing every time Robyn talks? Will you buy the Sister Wives necklace and wear it proudly? Thank you for reading! I saw a lot of familiar names in the comments for the mini-cap, and I am stoked you’re all back for another round! Comment away