Sister Wives Recap: News Flash: Men Can Be Bastards


By PennyDreadful | | 10:00 am | 14 Comments
Posted in: Recaps, Sister Wives

Back in Utah, we meet Tonia and Kerri, the founders of Holding Out Help.  They explain Suzanne left FLDS with her mother and 6 sisters.  Steven was kicked out.  Nicole says on her 16th birthday, she was told she had to be married.  Luckily, she managed to marry a non-polygamist and left Kingston.  Kollene says she left twice – the first time, they tracked her down and made her return.  Her dad was “one of the men in power”, and beat her.  The Browns talk about how their experience is different.  Kollene retorts “it’s not as happy or great as you’re making it seem to be”.  Maddie says she supports her parents 100 percent even though she doesn’t want to stay in the plig lifestyle.  Which is, of course, beside the point.

Nicole says all the girls she knew were abused, which leads the Browns to remark they didn’t know how good their childhood really was.  They still don’t seem to get it though – their childhood was pretty good despite, not because of, polygamy.

Everyone goes to Kollene’s host home.  She talks about her dad occasionally visiting her home (in Kingston), and says he was treated like a king.  Maddie protests that Kody isn’t like that.  Kollene tells Aspyn that the chances of her marrying someone as good as Kody are slim, and asks how she would feel when her husband was sleeping with someone else.  Aspyn says she would deal with it.  Kollene says she’s brainwashed.  Not brainwashed, just so completely out of touch with the real world.  Just like her mother, Christine.

Sigh.  Those wacky Brown kids.  They’ll learn.  Hopefully.

Everyone is working on putting some furniture in the house.  There are Warren Jeffs stickers on the furniture.  It’s explained that they were printed after he went to prison.  FLDS folks were supposed to put the stickers everywhere and pray for Jeffs to come out of prison every time they saw a sticker.  There’s discussion of “keeping sweet”, which is apparently written on the headboards of FLDS girls’ beds.  I don’t have a joke here.  That’s just super creepy.

The Browns invite the teens and the leaders to Vegas.  The Browns welcome everyone, and after meeting Kollene, Kody says he feels uncomfortable because Kollene comes from a culture where Kody would be qualified to be her husband.  Thinking of wife #5, Kody? She’s your daughters’ age, ya perv!

And she will SO kick your ass if you even think about it.

Everyone gets into a discussion.  Steven says he was kicked out of the FLDS for staying out late one evening.  Kollene says she was shunned, and called a devil’s child. 

And then we get to the most heartbreaking part of the ep, and the part that Kody totally doesn’t get. Suzanne says that one day her father, who had been very devout (sounds like he was one of the leaders), came home and said he was being sent far off to repent, and he was no longer their father.  The elders said Warren Jeffs was their new father, and put a “caretaker” over them.  This prompted Suzanne’s family to leave the FLDS.

Named for lurid serialized stories (so like today's reality TV) that sold for a penny a copy in Victorian Britain, former National Spelling Bee finalist and multiple Science Fair award winner PennyDreadful has been writing for TVGasm since 2011, and cites MST3K as inspiration.

Follow PennyDreadful on Twitter at @kcvinweho.

 

14 Comments

  1. 1
    SuburBint
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 2:59 pm

    “Is this entire family oblivious or ignorant or both?”

    I’m going with both. I’m guessing that every time some negative publicity is brought up about polygamy they all clap on blinders and sing LALALALALA really loudly until the big bad scary truth goes away.

  2. 2
    ashley24
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 3:19 pm

    Meri is nuts. The next episode we get to hear more of her entitled talk about those houses. You’re getting a brand new, custom built house with a wet bar (when you don’t even consume alcohol) and STILL find something to complain about? Who builds a house with 4-5 bedrooms and no children living at home? Isn’t her only kid like 16-17 y/o with plans to go back to home for college?

    IMO Meri is the worst most entitled wife. Jenelle is smartest of the bunch (and that isn’t saying too much). When Meri gets that huge house and she’s all alone in it she realize what a b!tch she’s been. None of those kids will go stay with her. Kody will be with Robyn making more babies. lol

  3. 3
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 4:05 pm

    @PennyDreadful I got so mad at Christine I wanted to dump a bucket of clabber over her head and watch it run down her face.

    Which I guess biting off her nose to spite is another thing she never heard of.

    If I’d never heard of the Browns, listening to her talk, I’d think of course she doesn’t know about any of that because she’s never read any papers or been off of their compound.

    You’d think Janelle or somebody would’ve taken her off to the side and explained to her that she’s so not doing them any favors. And that the whole point of them doing the show was so people’d know there’s polygamists that don’t act like Juniper Creek. OK and get a bunch of $ from TLC. But still.

    I got the feeling all the escapee kids had been through a whole lot more than they were about to tell TLC. Or Holding Out Help either 1. Or that TLC’d even put on the air if they did. Specially Kollene.

    I also think that other blonde headed girl knows her dad probably got blood atoned. (Which is another 1 of those official policies like polygamy and white people being the chosen seed. That got revised over time for public relations reasons. It’s basically where they kill somebody they think’s sinned. So their blood’s supposed to count for their atonement. So they can get forgiven and get their planet etc) Anyway I bet that girl and her family figured they’d be next. If the caretaker decided too much of the dad’s sin had rubbed off on them. To where they couldn’t keep sweet.

    To me the worst part was when they were talking about finding out 1 day that all they’d been taught all their life was wrong. So how do they know what’s true? And also missing their relatives. When that brown headed girl was saying how working through all the bad stuff was hard enough. But what about the good memories they had. What are they supposed to do with that?

    If anybody was in the mood for deep thoughts they totally could get some watching this episode. And not just about abuse and polygamy.

    In a way all the kids reminded me of those theories about how everybody fits into a certain type of personality and world view. But we’ve seen the Brown kids more so they’re easier to match up.

    Logan’s the most average. And got the most popular way of thinking. The FLDS stories make him feel terrible. But it didn’t happen in his front yard so it must just be something somebody made up.

    Aspyn is too. But a different side of it. She just keeps to what she’s taught. She doesn’t need to think about anything. Ask her any 100 different questions and she’ll say I don’t know to 99 of them and be telling 100% the truth.

    Madison’s the unusual 1. Not even so much because she doesn’t want to be a polygamist. But because you can tell she’s actually thought about it. By itself and also held up against how the world is and how she is. Which are both things she’s also thought about.

    Mariah didn’t go on the trip. If they said why I missed it. But I wonder if she maybe didn’t want to.
    I’m always saying the reason the swives are messed up is because plural marriage and modern ways don’t mix. I think Mariah agrees with me. But in a kind of opposite land way. I’m suspicious she believes they wouldn’t have problems if they were Juniper Creek. Which she can’t wait to turn 18 and jump in.

  4. 4
    wcsdancer
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 5:53 pm

    Yep, @kthxbai, the father that went missing most likely was blood attoned. I was shocked that shit really does happen. The families that was forced to return after they left are lucky it didn’t happen to them.

  5. 5
    nelliebelle1197
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 6:33 pm

    I didn’t catch that Kollene was a Kingston! That means she is probably her own aunt. All 3000 Kingstons come from the same 4 families and they practice incest! Most Kingston Mormons are products of relationships between uncles and nieces, half-siblings and people with multiple familial connections.

  6. 6
    nelliebelle1197
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 7:11 pm

    kthxbai, if Kollene is from the Kingston Family, I doubt there was “blood atonement”. The Kingstons are not AUB or FDLS. They believe the sons JO Kingston are the direct lineal descendents of Jesus. If her father was high up, he had to be part of that lineage. And didn’t she say he visited occasionally?

  7. 7
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 7:28 pm

    @nelliebelle1197 Blood atonement daddy wasn’t Kollene. It was the other blonde headed 1 With long hair.
    That told about her daddy telling them he had to go repent.

    Kollene was Kingston and had her hair bleached out platinum and had makeup on. She’s the 1 that said her 1st memory was her daddy beating her up.

  8. 8
    Bluedog
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 11:26 pm

    We don’t get this program but I do love to read the recaps. Funny incident happened in Melbourne, a pair of mormons were doing their usual house to house being told to f***off. Finally, they were actually invited in for milk and biccies (cookies). The milk was OK but the biccies were laced with marijuana. So there was a pair of stoned mormons trying to ride their bikes and knock on doors and laughing stupidly while doing it.

    Consequently, no mormons are allowed to go inside houses and can’t accept any food or drink.

    OK I realise you may think I am a total bitch for thinking that it was hilarious but honestly they are everywhere – you cannot get rid of them. I now pretend I’m not at home when they knock on the door. If I want to be a mormon (never going to happen) I will approach them.

  9. 9
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 2:39 am

    Kollene, Satan is my motor. Let’s farfegnugen.

  10. 10
    nelliebelle1197
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 5:09 am

    It creeps me out those poor girls are Kingstons. There is a good article in Rolling Stone from last year on the Kingstons. They are secretive, many people in Utah don’t even know about them!

  11. 11
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 8:10 am

    Did you guys see the preview of the next epi where Kody is digging in the ground and has a dramatic meltdown.
    I died laughing!
    I think he got all dramatical because he wanted to quit the manual labor.

  12. 12
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 10:43 am

    Are you sure he didn’t get all dramatical because he finally figured out that when you want your wife to have another baby, any answer that she gives that isn’t ‘yes’ means ‘no’?

  13. 13
    Pat Ledoux
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 11:53 am

    Hi my name is Christine and I have been living in a Polygamy bubble all my life full of sunshine and rainbows and happy happy happy…Oh, men can be bastards? Really?

    Crap the bubble burst.

    What a moron.

    Kody- still Chief Douchebag. Sad to say, but I think once again reality tv is going to implode another family..mainly the Browns. The cracks are a-showin!

  14. 14
    Anonymous
    Posted March 17, 2013 at 9:26 am

    I couldn’t help but notice that Kollene sort of looks like Edie Sedgwick.

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