Greetings Gasmii, and welcome to part TWO of the Sister Wives June 10 recap! I meant to get this up last night, but there is some sports nonsense going on in my hood that created crazy traffic and it took me almost two hours to get home (it normally takes me 35 minutes). SCREW YOU SPORTS!
This episode centers around my favorite Browns, the TEENS (or Brown Cohort A, whichever you prefer). It’s Spring Break and since they’re not fans of ARIs (Alcohol-Related Incident, a commonly-used acronym for the Baldy family), Logan, Mariah, Madison and Hunter are road tripping back to Utah!
“We’re goin, goin, back, back to Lehi, Lehi! REPRESENT!”
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: these kids are AWESOME! Even though they had no time to process the fact that they had to drop everything and move to Vegas, and even though they hate Vegas, they’re coming to terms with it and being as mature about it as possible. To me, that’s extraordinary. My parents moved me from California to a small town in Arizona when I was in junior high and you know when I finally came to terms with it? Never! I’m happily residing in California now. As for my time in Arizona, I dressed and acted in a manner that screamed “FUCK YOU PARENTS!” for years after we moved.
Enough about me. ROAD TRIP! The episode opens on Janelle’s teens packing their bags. Hunter gives Madison a hard time about packing more than him.
“Not everyone wears the same pair of underwear for a week, Hunter.”
What’s on the agenda for Spring Break 2012? Hiking and hanging out with friends and family. Whoa! Buckle up because it’s going to be a crazy ride in Utah! Or not. If there’s ever a “Polygamist Spring Break” movie on DVD, I have a feeling a lot of perverts are going to be disappointed.
Kody informs us that the teens are going to visit the house they grew up in back in Utah. If you’re a long-time viewer of the show, you remember their ginormous house that had areas for the three wives and their kids (Robyn lived in a different house). Kody is hoping that this doesn’t upset them.. Me too! Props to Kody for being concerned about his kids’ emotional wellbeing.
I know they’re siblings at all, but letting four teens road trip by themselves? That’s an awful lot of freedom! I certainly would not have been allowed the same privilege. Before you can accuse the Browns of lax parenting, we get to see Janelle tell Hunter that there is no way the parents would allow them to do this if there wasn’t family all along the way and at their final destination. That makes much more sense; the road to Utah is lined with parental informants. As if these four would get into any real trouble!
In typical teenage contrarian form, Hunter says they’re going to California for Spring Break next year. THAT’S how he’s pushing his mom’s buttons? These parents are so lucky.
“We’ll try not to get anyone pregnant or arrested!” said no Brown teen ever.
Meri and Janelle see off their teens and acknowledge how weird it feels to let them go on this trip unsupervised. They grow up so fast, amirite?.
This is the perfect segway to remind us why the Browns moved to Vegas in the first place. In a nutshell, THE MAN was investigating the Browns for bigamy and other crimes. Not wanting to risk their family being split up and imprisonment for Kody, they decided to hightail it to Vegas – literally. Once the decision was made, they were out of their house in mere days. None of the kids had time to come to terms with what was happening before it was already over.
As we’ve seen all season, living in four houses is taking a huge toll on the family. The kids, especially the adolescents, are not just suffering from the separation. They’ve left behind their friends and their youth culture. When you’re an adult, adapting is hard but not impossible. When you’re a teen, it feels like life is OVER. Moving means a new school, a new social hierarchy with a new set of rules about what is cool and what’s not.