Sister Wives Recap: Polygamist Teen Road Trip!!

Sister Wives

By LadyBaldy | Wednesday, June 13, 2012 | 3:00 pm | 12 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Sister Wives

The teens are super mature, and apparently they’re also super sneaky! Mariah spent the night at a cousin’s house and didn’t pick her phone when the others called her. How many times did they call her? And why were they phone stalking her? Can’t a girl get a break? Nevertheless, Logan, Madison and Hunter devise a plan to prank Mariah since it’s April Fools’ Day.  That’s fair. The person who is not present when the others are feeling feisty is the teen who will be pranked is a universal rule.

So what’s the plan? Madison and Logan are going to tell Mariah that Hunter was arrested for being out past curfew AND he was drinking alcohol! While this may be a normal Friday night for many teens, it is a big-ass deal in the Brown family because their religion prohibits the consumption of alcohol. I’m pretty sure their parents, like all good parents, prohibit getting arrested.

Logan and Madison put on incredible performances as they tell Mariah the bad news about Hunter. Her reaction is classic:

 “He WHAT??? But that’s ILLEGAL! Like, America illegal and God illegal!!!”

 Purse and iPhone DOWN!

Mariah is apparently Mom Junior; she throws down her bag and storms off to go give Hunter the what-for! Madison and Logan lose it, and I found myself chuckling along with them:

 The best laughter is at someone else’s expense

Madison and Logan knew the alcohol thing would be huge to Mariah. But WAIT, there’s more! Madison takes the prank to the next level by getting Meri involved. Meri sends a text to Mariah demanding that they return home immediately. So now Mariah thinks her brother is a criminal, he’s violated their faith, AND he’s ruined Spring Break for everyone.  Before it gets too out of hand, they all yell “April Fools!” Mariah warns them that they have it coming.

“Wait…this is a joke? You guys are SO. EFFING. DEAD.”

We take a break from the teens, probably so they can go visit friends and family who do not want to be on camera. That’s too bad for me because I love them, but I understand that their privacy is important. FINE, I’ll allow it even though it means we have to sit in on another Brown family business meeting.

The purpose of the latest meeting is to discuss Robyn’s business idea, a My Sister Wife’s Closet line of jewelry and a boutique. As you may recall, Robyn made necklaces for her Sister Wives for Christmas, and those necklaces were the prototypes for her jewelry line.. Robyn thinks the necklace and the ring would be a good start. She shows the family some drawings she’s made of hearts and the letters S and W. Kody is very involved, which is nice (or annoying). Janelle thinks the hearts are trite and overdone. Christine likes the hearts. OMG this is boring.

There is one design that Christine and Janelle both like. Since they’re both good Mormon ladies, they don’t see what I see:

 All I see are truck nuts / droopy balls

Robyn wants something solid that will appeal lots of people. She also wants to promote the idea that they are strong women when Meri has an epiphany: SW could mean Strong Women and Sister Wives!! Robyn and Kody’s react like Meri discovered fire while CHristine and Janelle exhibit a quiet enthusiasm. And by quiet, I mean they don’t care.

Robyn:  “OMG YOU ARE SOOOO SMART!”   Christine: “Yeah, someone give her a PhD.”

Meri tells us that the wives used to seem like Superwoman to people that didn’t know about their marital situation. After all, they appeared to be raising a kajillion kids, keeping a clean house, holding down jobs and they never called in sick. I guess the answer to “how does she do it?” is “get some sister wives on board!”

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LadyBaldy
About

LadyBaldy was raised by TV and thus has a completely warped version of what life is supposed to be like. She cannot have a conversation about anything without comparing situations and people to her favorite shows and movies. During the day, she works in clinical research and at night, she watches TV and discusses it with her cats.

12 Comments

  1. 1
    LadyBaldy LadyBaldy
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    GAAAGH! The sentence that starts “Kody’s favorite thing about My Sister Wife’s Closet” is supposed to have strikethrough font where is says “is that it was Robyn’s idea.” Teachable moment – don’t proofread in a hurry.

    Carry on :)

  2. 2
    Chicken Lips
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 4:47 pm

    Actually, LB – I thought the part about everyone being really excited about it was what was supposed to have the strikethrough. Ha!

    So, if this is how Christine reacts when the kid *says* “fuck”, will her head explode when he stops saying it and starts doing it? Actually, I think that Logan probably wouldn’t do anything that would disappoint his parents, but those two brothers that started kicking each other’s ass – you know the girls will fall all over the tough guys and they’ll be able to get a little sumthin’ sumthin’.

    And did we only see Janelle’s Utah house? What about the other sides? Who lives there now? Do they still own it? Now that THE MAN isn’t out to get them just for that and they can’t seem to find 4 empty plots together in the middle of the friggin’ desert, will they move back? I need answers, yo!

    One other thing – how is Robin handling the bulk of this episode not being about her? I hope she hasn’t taken to her room and has become dehydrated from all the tears she shed.

  3. 3
    fancyface
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 8:14 pm

    @chickenlips…Not possible. She keeps LIV products by her bed, in her purse, diaper bag, & her lady parts, so since it helped Truly stop throwing up because she was always dehydrated, she has a good chance of survival.

  4. 4
    Chicken Lips
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 9:40 pm

    @Fancyface – Oh my sugar, I can’t believe I forgot about LIV. How could I be so dumb?! LIV keeps you hydrated and removes the sting when the attention isn’t on you constantly. Boy, I wish I could get myself some LIV. Think the Family Brown might be able to hook a sista up? =)

  5. 5
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted June 14, 2012 at 1:57 am

    I’ve got a theory that a lot of networks have been trying to decide if “fuck” is enough like “butt” and “boobs” yet to quit beeping it out. Because this week between getting featured on this show and The Bachelorette you can find a lot of people talking about it.

    And just like you’d expect it’s mostly older religious people that even notice it anymore. Plus it’s gotten so international that you can say

    “that fucker was so fucked it wouldn’t fucking do fuck till those fuckers spent all fucking night fucking around with it and now it’s like fucking new so for fuck’s sake get the fuck away from it and don’t fuck it up again”

    and everybody in the world will understand it. Even if English isn’t on even their little bit list.

  6. 6
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted June 14, 2012 at 7:17 am

    Kthxy, I really do wish that you would watch your language. I mean REALLY. I simply cannot tell you exactly how fucking offended I am.

    Hmmmmmmph.

    My grandpa would swear in German and it sounded so much better than in English. And merde has such a lovely ring to it. Scheiss sounds like a skiing term.

    It won’t be long before fuck will be as accepted as damn or hell.

    Unless a language police takes over if we become too conservative.

  7. 7
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted June 14, 2012 at 7:21 am

    As a battle-scarred veteran of teen acting out, I am so impressed with the Brownlets. They are such amazing kids, and I am sure they aren’t following a script. It’s just too natural.

    Think I’ll go shopping for a couple of sister wives.

  8. 8
    mere2142
    Posted June 14, 2012 at 10:20 am

    It appeared that the Utah house is still in the family – I believe one of Meri’s sister’s owns it now if I recall the captions correctly.

    I LOVE Janelle! Her parenting skills are awesome. I think she needs her own show – imagine Janelle teaching Teresa Guidice how to control Milania. I would pay to see that!

  9. 9
    Closet fan
    Posted June 14, 2012 at 7:55 pm

    I agree….. I want answers too. Plus, I can’t believe that they cant find them a builder for one big house. Maybe the wives don’t want it anymore.

  10. 10
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 5:09 pm

    Ooh @Closet fan good point. I had wondered the same thing but never considered they don’t WANNA. Now that I think about it the wives have all mentioned (this or maybe last season) they thoroughly enjoy their OWN homes.

    Awesome recap, BTW!!!

  11. 11
    Pageant-grandma
    Posted June 16, 2012 at 1:10 am

    I kinda pride myself on my parentingskills– but I would so send both of my teenage boys to janelle-land if it meant they’d turn out like her kids. Even hunter,who struggled so much with the move, seems like he’s going to be okay. This show wouldtotally be watchable were it not for k-douche. I’m even sor of starting to like Robyn.

  12. 12
    Pat Ledoux
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 10:54 am

    LB PLEASE hurry with last night’s recap (6/17). Meri said something awesome and I want to see if you caught it!

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