“Same shit, different day, TAKE TWO!!”
So apparently the life of the Brown family has been so ho-hum that we get not one but TWO Q&A episodes this season! TLC, are you even trying? Yes, we’re all curious about this family, but we can learn more about them as we watch their day to day lives. Did anyone learn anything earth shattering this episode? I didn’t. Also, perhaps next time you could get questions from people who have actually seen the show. Half of the people who presented video questions seem to be random people approached in a casino:
“Sure I’ll ask a question about some TV show if you get me another scotch. What’s it called? Mister Hives? Who the hell is Mr. Hives?”
At least this time a selection of the teens are answering questions too. It’s like TLC built a time machine, read my whining about the show, and then structured the season to address each issue in real-time. SPOOKY!
As a lead-in to excuse their laziness, the producers acknowledge that the Browns have acquired a level of fame; the family is often approached by fans who ask then lots of questions:
“Thanks for being on TV without being self-absorbed celebutantes who make me want to hang myself! How are you guys? Are you really married? How is Bill the Trainer? Can I come over and use your pool?”
I will be in Vegas in two months, and I hope that if I run into the S-dubs, I am not wasted. Lucky for myself and the Browns, we probably won’t cross paths.
Unless the Browns hang out around the gutter of the strip, I won’t see them. This guy is keeping the pavement warm for me.
First question! Ernesto in Las Vegas – he wants to know if any of the teens are dating yet:
“So, are you guys like 18 yet, or what?”
I hope Ernesto is not asking for himself. You don’t want Kody as an in-law, bro. Okay, so Ernesto is probably not asking because he’s looking for a date. He’s just curious, and I have to admit, so am I. Crickets chirp as the teens all try to look invisible:
Janelle says she has her suspicions and everyone looks at Logan. OOOOH does Logan have a girlfriend?? He’s darling, I’m sure there are lots of girls into him. Robyn asks him if it is getting serious – does that mean he DOES have a special lady? Logan says you get burned when you get serious. Ah, the struggle of the nice guy during his teen years. If Logan’s girlfriends have been anything like most teenage girls, they got sick of him super fast once they realized that there’s no drama (and no sex or drugs) when you ride the Logan train.
Thanks to the interrogation by multiple moms at once, Logan lets it slip that he has kissed this anonymous girlfriend and everyone goes wild. At least I think he did; he said yes then no. I leave it to you weigh in.
“OOOOOOOOOOOHH Logan and Anonymous sitting in a tree!”
Kody says that kisses have a price, and the Robin asks if he is being careful. Careful doing what? You know they’re not having sex. Logan tries to take the spotlight off of himself and asks why they don’t query the girls? Aspyn says she just hangs out, and Mariah says that the last time she was alone with a boy, it was on accident. Me too, Mariah. Me too.
Meri says that dating can be safe; what are they so afraid of??. Kody says mom and dad want to be involved in the dating until they are 21, and Madison says 18. Kody weighs in – he feels like that while they are under his roof, he has a right to know about their love lives. If there is kissing involved, he wants to know so that he can counsel them and help them understand that these things do have consequences. WHAT CONSEQUENCES??
Oh, that’s right. You don’t have to bump uglies to get herpes.
P.S. I FUCKING HATE COLD SORES! Robyn, you’re my sister in CSP (Cold Sore Pain)
Kody isn’t just talking about the face herps, he wants to counsel them on the emotional impact of intimacy. Okay, I can get on board with that. Maybe not coming from Kody, but in principle . He promises to be cool about it. No one has the heart to point out that demanding to know about your kids’ love lives is incredibly un-cool to teenagers, who have zero interest in discussing their love life with their dad. You can tell they’re thinking it:
“I’m not like a regular dad, I’m a cool dad! I wanna rap about heartbreak, and cold sores, and the heartbreak of cold sores!”
“This is the most UN-cool thing I’ve ever heard.”
“It’s really cute that you think we would EVER tell you what is going on in our lives.”
Next question! Are the people in Vegas more or less accepting of their unique family than the people in Utah? They all agree that Vegas is more laid back and the general motto is live and let live. I’m telling you, no one hates polygs more than Mormons. That, and Vegas is not the place where people are easily shocked, I’d wager.
Next question: what issues do the family butt heads on the most? Madison says there are a lot, specifically “church.” WHAT? You guys don’t want to go to home-church?!?! WHY?? The teens say that they don’t like going to family church because their dad is either cranky or crying. They leave out the obvious: the best part of church when you’re a teen is youth group and hanging out with the other teens. The dating prospects at home church are nil, so why go?