He likes to find outfits in thrift stores and then his friends put them on and he takes a photo of them and paints the portrait from the photo. Snooki thinks that two pictures of them looking “mad hard” would “definitely make the apartment.” She fails to specify what it would make the apartment, so you can fill in that blank yourself. Personally, I think those portraits are going to make the apartment scary as hell. Nick the Picture Guy takes some photos of the girls and says that he’ll bring the finished paintings back on Saturday.
What is it about girls these days and their obsessive need to make duck lips the second a camera is pointed in their direction?
The girls are going out to buy food and stuff for their dinner party. In the grocery store, Snooki asks JMomm, “Does diet meant it’s non-caffeine or it’s just less caffeine?” “Yeah, it’s less,” JMomm says. I don’t even know what to say about that… these people make my soul hurt.
Snooki tells us that she has no idea how the roommates are going to react to her announcement. “I’m going to tell them I’m engaged first, but I also want a cool way of saying I’m pregnant.”
Jenni looks so sad every time Snooki talks about being pregnant.
They go to a bakery and order a special cake to announce the pregnancy. “I’m pregnant! Dig in!” Snooki says.
When they get home from their errands, they discover that the huge pink fabric valances that had been hung around the main living area of the house are all falling down. “What the fuck are we going to do now, because now the house looks like shit.” Between the sayings and the swearing, her kid is going to grow up saying things like, “A fucking apple a day keeps the fucking doctor away.”
Snooki thinks that they should cancel the dinner party and JMomm moans that it’s going to take two hours just to clean up the tape on the wall. Snooki doesn’t want her Jersey Shore roommates over anymore with the house being in such a mess. “It looks horrible. I don’t know what to do!” JMomm says. She gets to work trying to put the fabric back where it belongs while Snooki goes online to see if there are any “handy people” in the area beside Anthony the Handyman. “I feel like I’m looking up prostitutes,” she murmurs. After a few minutes (or possibly hours) online, Snooki tells JMomm, “Hey, poop, I found four other handymans.” JMomm tells her to start calling and see who can get there the fastest.
Snooki calls one of the numbers she founds, and when a man answers she asks, “Are you a handyman?” “I’m very handy, man,” he replies, and Snooki hangs up with an “Ew!” She calls the last number and finds a handyman who is available to come over and rescue them from their fabric disaster. ” “This one guy sounds professional,” Snooki interviews, “so he’s not going to talk about……..”
Whatever she’s saying is so bad that not only did they bleep it, they used the black bar of lip-reading prevention. That story must have been absolutely filthy.
Brian the Handyman arrives at the house, and as JMomm is letting him in, one of her little fluffy dogs dashes out of the door. JMomm catches the dog, and when they get inside the house, Snooki’s verdict is, “He doesn’t seem creepy.” Neither did Ted Bundy.
“It’s… incredibly pink,” Brian says, looking around the house. They tell Brian that what they’re wanting is for the drapes to be back up at the top of the walls looking “nice and droopy.” Snooki is actually washing dishesthroughout this entire exchange.
Check it out!
“It’s basically the last hour before the roommates get here,” Snooki tells us, and she’s not sure they’re going to be ready. We see a montage of both Snooki and JMomm frantically cleaning while Brian fixes the pink fabric situation. The cake arrives, and it is frosted all in pink with “By the way… I’m pregnant!” written in white icing. Then one of JMomm’s dogs pees on the floor. Every time I mop, one of my pets or children has some sort of bodily fluid eruption all over my nice clean floor within two hours. Every. Single. Time.
Sure, she’s practically wearing a hazmat suit, but this is serious progress for our girl.