George tells us Tiffany is not only pretty, she’s smart too …Um, what? How ‘bout,
America, what you don’t know about Tiffany is: Bitch has herpes.
Those are the secrets I want. That will make me pick up the phone. Anywho, the routine is a fun, quick hip-hop, during which NappyTab get to promote their own upcoming project: their about-to-be baby. The dance does not seem too technically difficult, but I am impressed with Tiff & George’s, as two non-hip-hop dancers, ability to hit hard.
Babysitting makes me sleepy.
No surprise critiques from the judges. Nigel can’t wait for the hip-hop to get a little “grungier” this season and compliments Tiffany on her ability to “get down”. Mary loved the dance and the stupid set design. Christina asks the kids to make the slow, flowy movements “soupier” but other than that, X marks the spot. She sounds like she mixed up Mary’s purse with her own, if you know what I’m sayin’.
Up next are Brandon and Amber. Brandon tells us what we don’t know about Amber is that she’s a hairstylist. Please … half the black women in America are hairstylists. Let’s get some dirt, like
Amber’s blonde wigs are made of Cat Deeley’s pubes.
Amber tells us Brandon’s big secret: He’s got a bit part in Step Up: Revolution. I bet Adam Shankman made her say that. These secrets are weak.
What can I say about Amber and Brandon’s dance routine?
Brandon didn’t do much for me (except support Amber, performance-wise, and literally), but holy cow, Amber’s phenomenal! She has amazing lines and feet. She really sold that performance. Christina thought they were both amazing; she’s even speechless and then mumbly at the beginning of her critique. Mary says they must have “soul in that bowl” for breakfast. I guess that means she liked it, but still likes to point out the fact that they’re both black. Nigel calls it “baby-making choreography”. Does he ever step out of the gutter, even for one critique?
Hey, in case you forgot, Saturday is National Dance Day! They’re really trying to make this a thing, aren’t they? Do you think Hallmark will be selling Happy National Dance Day cards in 10 years? Cat Deeley reminds us that even babies with cancer will be participating (I’m not kidding). I checked out both routines on the Dizzy Feet website (yes, I’m that pathetic, but I also teach Zumba and wanted the Zumba routine for class) and they look like fun. Hope you post your own videos online, Gasmi! If you do, let us know here in the comment thread.
Back to the dancing. Janelle & Dareian (I “dare” you to make fun of his name).
Dareian skateboards … without a helmet.
Janelle is a secret rapper … She’s like the Lebanese Eminem.