No, her rappity-rap totally sucks. I wouldn’t admit that “secret talent” if I was Janelle. Ugh, and they’re dancing to “Call Me Maybe”. I was wondering how long it would take for the show to capitalize on this bandwagon song of the summer. This routine looks too slow and sloppy to be good ballroom, but what do I know. Their saving grace is that they’re so cute and short together.
They’re like adorable ethic lawn gnomes.
Mary backs up my shitty synopsis, but she uses a lot of technical terms that remind me why she is qualified to be a judge on this show. Christina and Nigel nit-pick about Dareian’s hand gestures and the couple’s general lack of ballroom talent. Nigel is disappointed that Janelle wasn’t as sexy tonight as she usually is.
And I know a thing or two about sexy.
Up next are Lindsey and Cole with their very secret secrets.
Cole is a method actor … and also a huge a-hole.
Lindsey’s secret is that she has a foot phobia, but Cole’s missing the real secret:
Our little Mormon likes her chocolate.
Their contemporary piece is right up my alley, with great costumes, lighting
and fluid, almost liquid dance movements that appear to be difficult and easy at the same time. Go, tall people! I don’t think Mandy Moore has ever choreographed a piece on this show that I DIDN’T like, so I’m not surprised. Nigel compliments Mandy and mentions the lighting and how it helped the performance. He is full of praise for both Lindsey (she is now dancing more maturely) and Cole (he is meticulous in his movement and is a genius). Mary thinks Lindsey was magic and mesmerizing and Cole is able to do everything they throw at him. Christina says more of the same … so these two don’t need your vote.
Now, it’s time for Amelia and Will. Will’s secret is that he should have tried out for American Idol.
but they told him he wasn’t quirky enough.
Amelia’s secret to her uber-white skin?
She’s a vampire.
They also prove to us that Amelia is human by showing us a pic of her when she was four. It’s a horrible, horrible picture so I delight in showing to you as much as SYTYCD did:
I developed the “quirky” thing after Gollum abandoned me.
So Mandy Moore is choreographing a jazz number for these two, which will probably work for them and their fan base but make me want to throw up a little.
I revise my earlier statement about loving all of Mandy Moore’s work.