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Howdy, Gasmii! Thanks for all your comments on the Minicap! I agree, TheMiki, this is a sign of the apocalypse. Didn’t Nostradamus mention it somewhere?
Let’s get right to our ep!
We open with the introduction of our 10 celebrities: the 5 who are diving tonight, Kareem Abdul Jabbar, Louie Anderson, Rory Bushfield, Keshia Knight Pulliam and Katherine Webb, and the 5 who will dive next week, Drake Bell, Nicole Eggert, Ndamukong Suh, Kendra Wilkinson and Chuy Bravo, and see a montage of their training. Spoiler alert – water hurts. Especially when you smack down on it with your entire body at full speed.
We then get to see some cool pro divers and synchro. Which begs the question, why didn’t ABC just do a series featuring those folks? Let’s face it, after Circus of the Stars, it’s all been downhill for celebrity competitions, hasn’t it?
We then get to meet the contestants in person, wearing robes that look like they came from the JC Penney clearance rack, interspersed with more diving and synchro from the pros. I assume that’s to intimidate the celebrities. Nothing like seeing a level of excellence you can’t even imagine, much less aspire to, to build one’s confidence.
And here are our hosts, Joey Lawrence, who for some reason seems to have decided to dye his hair orange (perhaps a misguided homage to Carrot Top or, as J-Mo said in the Minicap, Curious George?), along with ESPN reporter Charissa Thompson.
We’re told we will see 5 celebrities dive tonight. The two with the lowest scores will have a dive-off. There are 2 judges, David Boudia (2012 Olympian) and Steve Foley (also an Olympian, and director of the US diving center), and the audience will also have a chance to vote on each diver. Audience voting = always a mistake. Just look at Idol.
First, Greg shows us how it’s done.
In your face, so-called “celebrities”!
Then we’re off to a montage of “diving boot camp”. Greg explains divers must be strong, flexible, agile and overcome their fear of heights, as well as be in complete command of their own bodies. So that rules out pretty much every celebrity on this show, then. We learn that at least one of the celebrities has a fear of water (WTF?) and they are a “broad spectrum”, 4’2″ to 7’2″, 117 lbs to 417 (guess who!) So some of them are just plain “broad” then.
Back in the studio, we start with Keshia on the 10 foot board. Keshia interviews she tries to live life “in a very fearless manner”. Indeed. Or are you just doing this stunt to promote your show? Hmmm?