Survivor: Potheads

Survivor

By PottyMouth | Tuesday, October 16, 2012 | 11:25 am | 19 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Survivor

Since Matsing is down to three players, the other two tribes have to sit out three people each.  They both sit out all their women.  What a crock.  I really wish they weren’t letting them sit out the same people challenge after challenge after challenge because this is some bullshit. 

It’s the way EVERY challenge should be!

Oh, you KNOW that’s what he really thinks.

Malcolm, Skupin, and Spicoli are out first for their tribes, and Malcolm is not playing around as he busts out the hyper speed, putting Matsing into the lead for the first time (according to Jeff).  Skupin gets through his round fairly well, while Spicoli has some trouble, fist dropping one of the pots and having to start over, then falling on the obstacle course.

Russell maintains Matsing’s lead, going through the course quickly as well.  Artis helps Tandang keep second place, but he does lose some ground to Kalabaw as Penner kicks it up a notch.  So Denise is out last for Matsing and even though she rocks it out, she is not able to keep the lead as Pete passes her.  She does stay ahead of Kalabaw, but Jeff is able to close the gap even more.

So now all tribes have all six pots placed in their holders and have to go back through the obstacle course before starting to smash their pots.  It MUST be noted here that Russell is having a really hard time now, and seems to barely make it to the mat.

I’ll keep fighting….right after I take a little nap

Wrecking ball operators are Artis for Tandang, Malcolm for Matsing, and Jeff for Kalabaw.  Artis does a great job for Tandang, smashing all of their six pots first and winning his tribe immunity plus an awesome steak dinner.

Things are closer for Matsing and Kalabaw.  In fact, it comes down to one pot.  Jeff is so into it at this point, he is yelling “One pot!!  Matsing, one pot left!  Kalabaw, one pot left!  THIS IS IT!!!”

Try not to give yourself a heart attack Jeffrey

Both Malcolm and Jeff miss, but (in a beautifully captured bit of filming) on the backswing Jeff’s ball hits their pot and RECAP MORE

So once again, Matsing will be going to tribal.

RELEASE THE KRACKEN!

UGH.  I am so over Russell being a sore loser.  It’s so ridiculous that even Jeff feels compelled to call him out on this bullshit.  Oh wait, but before that, Russell starts asking god why he’s doing this to him.

AWKWARD!  Jeff calls Russell out on his behavior saying he’s not even sure who Russell is talking to.  He’s talking to god, lord…he means Jeff.  Wait.  Did he just call Jeff lord?????

I know I’m awesome, but did you really just call me god?????

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PottyMouth

When she isn't screaming curses at various dance show judges or washing her OWN mouth out with soap, PottyMouth is a proud mama to a gorgeous little boy. And yes, she knows everyone says that about their kids, but it's true when she says it. YES IT IS. Fuck you. She also laments throwing away the chance to be a trophy wife, and would like to find a rich husband so she can sit on her ass all day long and watch TV. If you are fabulously wealthy, look like Hugh Jackman (or ARE in fact Hugh Jackman), and are turned on by foul-mouthed, mature, slightly smooshy women, then she just may be the gal for you. Please send picture, references and your latest bank statement for review.

19 Comments

  1. 1
    sweetblondie
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 11:58 am

    Seriously lol’ing at “release the craken!”…k, back to reading.

  2. 2
    sweetblondie
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    Great recap! Poor sportsmanship is one of my biggest pet peeves… I hate sore losers! So glad to see Russel go…and i can’t help but wonder if they’d voted him off instead of Roxy, would they have played better as a TEAM and therefore won a challenge or two…shoulda woulda coulda i suppose…

  3. 3
    sweetblondie
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 12:10 pm

    Sorry, one last comment….

    I really felt bad for Juggs…she seems like a smart, rational lady…so i’m hoping she can get herself out of this little scrape…

  4. 4
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 12:41 pm

    I felt bad for Juggs too. That Ave Maria is crazy. I think she’s missed a dose of her medication. She’s kind of scary to me.

    As for Russell — I’m so glad he’s gone. If he was the best player EVER, at least, I could understand the post game tantrums but half the time he’s partially responsible for the loss so the tantrums always seemed to be a way to divert attention and blame away from himself.

    Denise is from Cedar Rapids, Iowa and everyone knows Iowa is the greatest state of all 50 so her being wonderful just makes sense.

    I don’t find Malcolm handsome but I like how he’s handled a bad situation. He seems very level headed and smart.

  5. 5
    Dilly
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    Denise looks like the dad from Juno (JK Simmons).

    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0799777/

  6. 6
    See-Jay
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 1:37 pm

    Denise is my favorite at the moment and it kills me that the odds are stacked against her. Hopefully she makes it to the inevitable merge, and hopefully the merge will actually mix up the alliances.

    Don’t they usually have a rule about not allowing players to sit out two challenges in a row or is that only when the reward and immunity challenges are separate?

  7. 7
    itchy itchy
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    I kind of like the underdog story though. But you have to assume there’s a shakeup a-comin’ very soon.

    Russell’s an idiot. That’s the only explanation.

    And I’m having serious doubts about Juggs’ brainpower. Oh well. Can’t have everything, I suppose.

  8. 8
    Novi
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 3:41 pm

    I do find it funny that during the challenge, Russell was weakly laying on the blanket unable to move, but had the energy to “release the cracken!”/display his need for cookies and possibly a naptime moments after the loss.

  9. 9
    myfavoritesunglasses
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 6:04 pm

    I wonder if Ave is the type of person that can admit she was totally batshit and wrong at finale after seeing the season. Or if she’ll come up with some other batshit reason why hating Juggs is OK. I’m betting on the latter.

  10. 10
    annie Annie
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 6:10 pm

    Potty Mouth……awesome recap!!!!! I was cracking up at work (ehhh I mean, at home OFF THE CLOCK) while looking at the photocaps, especially the ones on page three (Random Denise and Hot Sauce Lisa)

    I dont really feel sorry for Business Boobs. Seems like she latched onto Crazy Ave because she was the other “token hot chick” in the tribe, without taking a few minutes to realize she’s a psycho. Ooops!!

    I also really like Denise and Malcolm together, they make a good team. Denise kicks ass, and during that challenge I was like OMG at her muscles!

    Also, is it just me, or are the Tribal Immunity statues freakin’ ridiculous looking?! They look like the South Park turkey
    http://southparkstudios-intl.mtvnimages.com/shared/sps/media/images/414/414_turkey_ride.gif?width=400

  11. 11
    Robin Robin
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 6:48 pm

    Potty Mouth you are the best! Thanks.

    I am mad at Juggs. I started to like her, then she disapointed the hell out of me when she just accepted that the fucking clue tumbled out of her bag and acted like she was dumbfounded. I am sure she was! But she should have said out loud “who the fuck is setting me up”?

    Robin

  12. 12
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 7:05 pm

    Russell thinks man is a “perfect creature?” Apparently Russell never made it to the part of the Bible where Adam and Eve screw up Eden.

  13. 13
    ChaCha
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 7:58 pm

    Say what you will about Pete, but the guy’s definitely got more game than most of all the others. I hate this three tribe thing and will be glad to see a merge happen…hopefully soon, now that one tribe is down to two. But I’m thrilled that Russell and his massive ego are gone, gone, gone.

  14. 14
    PinkTop
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 9:45 pm

    I hope the Kalabow women wipe out the Four Fingers/Moobs/Spicoli manliance (unless the merge mixes shit up of course). So when is that merge happening? I’m ready for it. Bring it on. Will it go to a two-tribe first, or directly to one? So many questions.

    My gaydar is usually decisive and foolproof, but appears to be stuck on “on-the-fence” when it comes to Spicoli.

    Annie – omg South Park turkey is dead on – lololololol!

    Brazilian Nut – YES! (:

  15. 15
    itchy itchy
    Posted October 17, 2012 at 2:20 am

    Russell wasn’t saying that man is a perfect creature. He was saying that god made him a perfect creature, which is why it made so little sense that he kept losing. Methinks his braids are too tight.

  16. 16
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted October 17, 2012 at 6:08 am

    Anything with ugly braids and a receding hairline cannot be called perfect.

  17. 17
    considerthis
    Posted October 17, 2012 at 7:13 am

    I’m rooting for Paul!

  18. 18
    Metal_Mandi
    Posted October 17, 2012 at 10:50 am

    That one picture of Pete, with the hoodie up, he almost looks like Colton. I thought that during the show too. Ick.

    I’m hoping that, somehow, Malcolm and Denise make it to the merge together and quickly team up with Juggs and Skupin. Throw in one or two more, maybe the guy alliance with Penner, and they could make a run for it. Though I’m sure what will happen is the norm: if they don’t win individual immunity they will be the first to go.

  19. 19
    juddfan
    Posted October 17, 2012 at 5:46 pm

    You had me at:

    Is that where it is???

    I hope denise goes with the split tribe, and aligns with one of the sides of three. Not as worried about Malcolm, but it would be good to see if they could reunite at the merge.

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