Survivor Recap: Blubbering Blair

Survivor

By PottyMouth | Monday, November 19, 2012 | 6:00 am | 15 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Survivor

Hey Gasmi!  This season is shaping up to be a good one. Isn’t it?  I’ll admit I had my doubts in the beginning, but the last couple of weeks have kicked it up a notch.  Or two.  And even though this week doesn’t bring last week’s insanity to tribal, there’s still PLENTY going on to keep us entertained when Lisa’s not crying.  So let’s get to it!

Dang Rain returns from tribal council and Skupin is overjoyed that Lisa’s plan to save him worked (though perhaps not quite the way she planned).  Scabby is less than overjoyed to have received a vote and immediately assumes it was Skupin that cast the vote her way.

I can’t believe you voted for me even though I keep talking about voting you out!

She’s all sunshine and rainbows that one.  Penner comes to Skupin’s rescue and tells Scabby that HE’S the one that voted for her.  I’m surprised he owned up to it; I think if it were me I would have let Skupin take that bullet.

You know I could kill you in your sleep right?

See what I mean?  Bitch be crazy.

Penner tells us that was the most incredible tribal council he’s ever been a part of.  It was cray cray.  After talking to Spicoli Penner realizes he was the one whose vote resulted in Jeff’s ouster from the game.

Oopsie.

I am a little disappointed that it wasn’t intentional, but Penner doesn’t seem too heartbroken about the whole thing.  From his perspective he’s a dead man walking anyway. 

Next, Malcolm talks to Lisa and tells her he isn’t holding any grudges against her for what went down at tribal.  She was playing the game and he gets it because he’s just playing the game as well.  Lisa thanks him over and over and over again for being so understanding.  And then she tanks him some more.

Thank you thank you thank you thank you.  Have I mentioned I want to thank you?

I think we got it!  He’s much nicer than I am because I think I would have told her to shut it about forty thank yous ago!

Lisa tells us that she loves the game but it just may be too big for her.  It’s just not her.

FYI – when I screw you over I totally won’t be apologizing like this.  Just thought you should know!

The next morning Penner does some math and realizes he’s in trouble if the five remaining Tandangers stick together at the next vote.  But he knows that the five of them are vastly different and he’s hoping he can play on those divisions and maybe get Skupin and Lisa away from the other three. 

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PottyMouth

When she isn't screaming curses at various dance show judges or washing her OWN mouth out with soap, PottyMouth is a proud mama to a gorgeous little boy. And yes, she knows everyone says that about their kids, but it's true when she says it. YES IT IS. Fuck you. She also laments throwing away the chance to be a trophy wife, and would like to find a rich husband so she can sit on her ass all day long and watch TV. If you are fabulously wealthy, look like Hugh Jackman (or ARE in fact Hugh Jackman), and are turned on by foul-mouthed, mature, slightly smooshy women, then she just may be the gal for you. Please send picture, references and your latest bank statement for review.

15 Comments

  1. 1
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 6:44 am

    Survivor made me sit through what seemed like ten minutes of Penner blowing smoke up Lisa’s ass until it made her all warm and fuzzy and blubbery, and she STILL tries to vote him out? They dragged that shit out way too long with Penner acting like he was Barbara Walters. I was squirming and screaming at the TV to make it stop already.

  2. 2
    itchy itchy
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 6:52 am

    So basically what’s been going on is that Scabby (and Pete) have been using Lisa’s hot sauce-based child-rearing strategy on her, and it’s working, turning her into a docile puppet who does what they want?

    I love how Penner keeps checking out Juggs — because he knows she thrives on this kind of attention, and it’s all he’ll need to get her vote if he makes it to the final.

    At this point I’m really rooting for Penner — mostly because it just seems impossible for him to make it to the end. So if he does, well, that’ll be really something.

  3. 3
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 7:17 am

    Hell, itchy, I keep checking out Juggs, and I’m not trying to get a vote out of her. Penner does know how to work it though, so he’s probably checking her out both for her vote and because she is just so damn checkable outable. It’s a twofer.

  4. 4
    lindaw205
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 7:22 am

    Sorry, Pete, but you’re balls are in Scabby’s pocket.

  5. 5
    itchy itchy
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 8:08 am

    I dunno, cranky, after watching Juggs’ Ponderosa videos, I kinda lost the romance. No more leopard print bikini. And that laugh! I’d ram spikes in my ears if I was subjected to that on a daily basis. No tits, no matter how glorious, are worth that.

  6. 6
    juddfan juddfan
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    I missed the end of this, but I’m surprised they didn’t blind side scabby . . . sigh . . .

    guess she is fun to hate!

    Great Turkey Day’s to ya all!

  7. 7
    itchy itchy
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 3:22 pm

    They’re keeping Scabby for the finale — no one will vote for her.

  8. 8
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    I think Scabby is going before that. She’s an ugly witch and people aren’t going to put up with her. She WON’T be one of the finale three.

  9. 9
    ZipLock
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 6:15 pm

    So this is interesting — I thought Lisa HAD voted for Scabby. I guess I was so in denial about whether or not she’d do the right thing (voting against that nasty bitch) that I saw what I wanted to see rather than what was. which seems to prove Penner’s point of what does America want to see.

    Either that or I was just drunk.

    Loved that Denise was actively playing the game this week, although I wish they’d flush out the idol and put Scabs out of our misery.

  10. 10
    ChaCha
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 6:18 pm

    Oh, itchy, thank you for saying what I’ve been thinking about Juggs’ stupid laugh. I can tell you’ve watched the Ponderosa video clips too. That woman is waaaay too amused with her blathering. She’s not funny and that laugh is fingernails on a blackboard.

  11. 11
    myfavoritesunglasses
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 7:13 pm

    I want to know what the heck Malcolm is telling Pete and Abi that’s not being shown. Not only did we not see them get upset with him AT ALL about his idol lie, but in the secret scenes on cbs.com, Pete counted Malcolm *multiple* times as a for sure vote to send Jonathan home this ep. The dude must be one awesome liar but we just aren’t seeing it.

  12. 12
    itchy itchy
    Posted November 20, 2012 at 12:01 am

    No doubt both Pete and Scabby have been charmed by Malcolm’s cute dimples and winning smile.

  13. 13
    zerocool
    Posted November 20, 2012 at 5:37 am

    I know I have! Rootin for Malcolm, Denise or Penner ftw.

  14. 14
    myfavoritesunglasses
    Posted November 20, 2012 at 7:28 am

    I mean, I know I have …

  15. 15
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted November 20, 2012 at 3:54 pm

    Team Malcolm, Denise, or Penner here, too! Although what a fuckall it would be if those THREE actually made it? All deserving…all competitive…all relatively nice/genuine.

    Oh, and sorry guys, but there is no laugh that can compare to the hideous, ear-gouging cackle that belongs to Ms. Whoreteny Stodden.

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