Survivor Recap: Blubbering Blair

Survivor

By PottyMouth | Monday, November 19, 2012 | 6:00 am | 15 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Survivor

Once a team has all of its balls they will shoot the balls into a basket type contraption.  First team to get all their balls in basket tube wins reward. The reward is a trip to a local village where they’ll bring school supplies and toys and enjoy a feast with the locals while hanging out.

Jeff says they’re going to do a school yard pick, but we don’t get to see it.  Instead we see the resulting teams of Skupin, Lisa, Artis and Pete against Penner, Malcolm, Denise and Carter.  No one picked Scabby.

This gets funnier and funnier the more I look at it.  The only thing that could make this better would be if she fell off that bench during the challenge.

What makes it even better is that Jeff tells us that Scabby has NO CHANCE to go on the reward at all.  HAHAHAHA!  You know, I seem to remember that a lot of the time they let the unpicked person choose a side and they either get to go on the reward with that team, or back to camp with them.  Scabby gets no such choice.

I wonder if Jeff was like FUCK THAT.  Something tells me he didn’t want her to have any chance at all of getting any reward.  I mean, we know he’s partial to the dudes and the fit females, and the fact that she’s been sitting out a lot is driving him crazy.  Can’t you just see that producer’s meeting?

Hell no she won’t go!!!!!

Penner and Skupin head out first for their respective teams.  They’re pretty much neck and neck until they get to the mud ball pit.  Skupin finds his bag quickly and continues on to the rice crawl.  For Penner it takes a bit longer because he decides to stay in the pit and find all four ball bags.

While Penner’s busy digging balls, Skupin’s finished his portion of the challenge and Lisa heads out for the team.  She gets over the A frame before Penner finishes the course, but Carter catches up to her at the rice crawl because he’s able to just pick up his balls rather than dig for them.

So now Penner’s team is in the lead with Denise and Pete up next.  Pete takes a really long time digging balls while Denise’s bag is grab-n-go, putting their team ahead by an even greater margin.  In fact, Malcolm gets through the whole course while Pete is still digging balls.

I can’t find my balls!  Where the fuck are my balls goddammit!!???!!

Pete FINALLY finds his balls and Artis is able to start through the course while the other team is already throwing.  They have six balls in their basket thing before Artis even finishes the course.  Before you know it they have one ball left to throw, but don’t get too excited because it’s at this point that they start missing.  Oh man, will the other team catch up and win when these guys were so far ahead?

Nope.

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PottyMouth

When she isn't screaming curses at various dance show judges or washing her OWN mouth out with soap, PottyMouth is a proud mama to a gorgeous little boy. And yes, she knows everyone says that about their kids, but it's true when she says it. YES IT IS. Fuck you. She also laments throwing away the chance to be a trophy wife, and would like to find a rich husband so she can sit on her ass all day long and watch TV. If you are fabulously wealthy, look like Hugh Jackman (or ARE in fact Hugh Jackman), and are turned on by foul-mouthed, mature, slightly smooshy women, then she just may be the gal for you. Please send picture, references and your latest bank statement for review.

15 Comments

  1. 1
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 6:44 am

    Survivor made me sit through what seemed like ten minutes of Penner blowing smoke up Lisa’s ass until it made her all warm and fuzzy and blubbery, and she STILL tries to vote him out? They dragged that shit out way too long with Penner acting like he was Barbara Walters. I was squirming and screaming at the TV to make it stop already.

  2. 2
    itchy itchy
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 6:52 am

    So basically what’s been going on is that Scabby (and Pete) have been using Lisa’s hot sauce-based child-rearing strategy on her, and it’s working, turning her into a docile puppet who does what they want?

    I love how Penner keeps checking out Juggs — because he knows she thrives on this kind of attention, and it’s all he’ll need to get her vote if he makes it to the final.

    At this point I’m really rooting for Penner — mostly because it just seems impossible for him to make it to the end. So if he does, well, that’ll be really something.

  3. 3
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 7:17 am

    Hell, itchy, I keep checking out Juggs, and I’m not trying to get a vote out of her. Penner does know how to work it though, so he’s probably checking her out both for her vote and because she is just so damn checkable outable. It’s a twofer.

  4. 4
    lindaw205
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 7:22 am

    Sorry, Pete, but you’re balls are in Scabby’s pocket.

  5. 5
    itchy itchy
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 8:08 am

    I dunno, cranky, after watching Juggs’ Ponderosa videos, I kinda lost the romance. No more leopard print bikini. And that laugh! I’d ram spikes in my ears if I was subjected to that on a daily basis. No tits, no matter how glorious, are worth that.

  6. 6
    juddfan juddfan
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    I missed the end of this, but I’m surprised they didn’t blind side scabby . . . sigh . . .

    guess she is fun to hate!

    Great Turkey Day’s to ya all!

  7. 7
    itchy itchy
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 3:22 pm

    They’re keeping Scabby for the finale — no one will vote for her.

  8. 8
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    I think Scabby is going before that. She’s an ugly witch and people aren’t going to put up with her. She WON’T be one of the finale three.

  9. 9
    ZipLock
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 6:15 pm

    So this is interesting — I thought Lisa HAD voted for Scabby. I guess I was so in denial about whether or not she’d do the right thing (voting against that nasty bitch) that I saw what I wanted to see rather than what was. which seems to prove Penner’s point of what does America want to see.

    Either that or I was just drunk.

    Loved that Denise was actively playing the game this week, although I wish they’d flush out the idol and put Scabs out of our misery.

  10. 10
    ChaCha
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 6:18 pm

    Oh, itchy, thank you for saying what I’ve been thinking about Juggs’ stupid laugh. I can tell you’ve watched the Ponderosa video clips too. That woman is waaaay too amused with her blathering. She’s not funny and that laugh is fingernails on a blackboard.

  11. 11
    myfavoritesunglasses
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 7:13 pm

    I want to know what the heck Malcolm is telling Pete and Abi that’s not being shown. Not only did we not see them get upset with him AT ALL about his idol lie, but in the secret scenes on cbs.com, Pete counted Malcolm *multiple* times as a for sure vote to send Jonathan home this ep. The dude must be one awesome liar but we just aren’t seeing it.

  12. 12
    itchy itchy
    Posted November 20, 2012 at 12:01 am

    No doubt both Pete and Scabby have been charmed by Malcolm’s cute dimples and winning smile.

  13. 13
    zerocool
    Posted November 20, 2012 at 5:37 am

    I know I have! Rootin for Malcolm, Denise or Penner ftw.

  14. 14
    myfavoritesunglasses
    Posted November 20, 2012 at 7:28 am

    I mean, I know I have …

  15. 15
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted November 20, 2012 at 3:54 pm

    Team Malcolm, Denise, or Penner here, too! Although what a fuckall it would be if those THREE actually made it? All deserving…all competitive…all relatively nice/genuine.

    Oh, and sorry guys, but there is no laugh that can compare to the hideous, ear-gouging cackle that belongs to Ms. Whoreteny Stodden.

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