Survivor Recap: Blubbering Blair

Survivor

By PottyMouth | Monday, November 19, 2012 | 6:00 am | 15 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Survivor

So for the second week in a row I’m happy with how the reward challenge has played out. 

Hey Scabby, get yer skanky ass outta here

I  don’t know why you’re being so ludacrist Jeff.

As Penner and Co. arrive at the village, they’re greeted by a bunch of kids.  They introduce themselves to the villagers and hilariously, Penner tells them that his name is normal in America and they all repeat “Normal” thinking it’s his name!  It’s really cute.

They do a sort of piñata like thing for the kids and Penner is the one swinging the bat.  You can just see how much fun he’s having here and he’s telling us that he doesn’t think he’s ever seen a happier community.

Malcolm is also affected by the village.  You see, he spent some time teaching elementary school in Micronesia and this experience is making him wonder why he gave it up.

I wonder….

He thinks this is so much more than, you know, pouring drinks for girls in bars.  Well, true….but did he really not know that already? 

If only I could teach villagers by day and bang babes at night!

As is usually the case in these types of rewards, the villagers have cooked them a feast.  I sure hope the producers of the show at least did the grocery shopping!  Penner’s excited to eat but he’s also hoping that they’ll have a chance to talk strategy a bit.

What’s wrong with discussing a little strategy on our time?

They do.  They think it’s best for them to all work together at the next vote and also try to get Skupin, Lisa, or both to come over to their alliance. 

While that’s going on we check back in with the losers back at camp.  As you can imagine, they’re not thrilled with the fact that they lost the reward.  Pete says it’s really terrible to lose a challenge like this because it’s so demoralizing.

But he’s trying to look on the bright side.  At least the loss gives him a chance to hang with his fellow Tandangers and solidify their alliance before the next tribal.  He’s not happy about teaming up with Skupin, but he needs him right now.

Scabby is doing her part to help out….

You’re so gullible and stupid and naïve and dumb and

Oh shit.  STFU Scabby!!

Not that Pete’s much better than Scabby, he’s talking about how Lisa got obliterated at tribal.  Wait.  Wha?????  I don’t understand how her telling him that Malcolm had a hidden immunity idol and Pete being convinced that Malcolm shitting his pants meant that he didn’t actually have one adds up to Lisa being obliterated.

Don’t question the mastermind.

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PottyMouth

When she isn't screaming curses at various dance show judges or washing her OWN mouth out with soap, PottyMouth is a proud mama to a gorgeous little boy. And yes, she knows everyone says that about their kids, but it's true when she says it. YES IT IS. Fuck you. She also laments throwing away the chance to be a trophy wife, and would like to find a rich husband so she can sit on her ass all day long and watch TV. If you are fabulously wealthy, look like Hugh Jackman (or ARE in fact Hugh Jackman), and are turned on by foul-mouthed, mature, slightly smooshy women, then she just may be the gal for you. Please send picture, references and your latest bank statement for review.

15 Comments

  1. 1
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 6:44 am

    Survivor made me sit through what seemed like ten minutes of Penner blowing smoke up Lisa’s ass until it made her all warm and fuzzy and blubbery, and she STILL tries to vote him out? They dragged that shit out way too long with Penner acting like he was Barbara Walters. I was squirming and screaming at the TV to make it stop already.

  2. 2
    itchy itchy
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 6:52 am

    So basically what’s been going on is that Scabby (and Pete) have been using Lisa’s hot sauce-based child-rearing strategy on her, and it’s working, turning her into a docile puppet who does what they want?

    I love how Penner keeps checking out Juggs — because he knows she thrives on this kind of attention, and it’s all he’ll need to get her vote if he makes it to the final.

    At this point I’m really rooting for Penner — mostly because it just seems impossible for him to make it to the end. So if he does, well, that’ll be really something.

  3. 3
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 7:17 am

    Hell, itchy, I keep checking out Juggs, and I’m not trying to get a vote out of her. Penner does know how to work it though, so he’s probably checking her out both for her vote and because she is just so damn checkable outable. It’s a twofer.

  4. 4
    lindaw205
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 7:22 am

    Sorry, Pete, but you’re balls are in Scabby’s pocket.

  5. 5
    itchy itchy
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 8:08 am

    I dunno, cranky, after watching Juggs’ Ponderosa videos, I kinda lost the romance. No more leopard print bikini. And that laugh! I’d ram spikes in my ears if I was subjected to that on a daily basis. No tits, no matter how glorious, are worth that.

  6. 6
    juddfan juddfan
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    I missed the end of this, but I’m surprised they didn’t blind side scabby . . . sigh . . .

    guess she is fun to hate!

    Great Turkey Day’s to ya all!

  7. 7
    itchy itchy
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 3:22 pm

    They’re keeping Scabby for the finale — no one will vote for her.

  8. 8
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    I think Scabby is going before that. She’s an ugly witch and people aren’t going to put up with her. She WON’T be one of the finale three.

  9. 9
    ZipLock
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 6:15 pm

    So this is interesting — I thought Lisa HAD voted for Scabby. I guess I was so in denial about whether or not she’d do the right thing (voting against that nasty bitch) that I saw what I wanted to see rather than what was. which seems to prove Penner’s point of what does America want to see.

    Either that or I was just drunk.

    Loved that Denise was actively playing the game this week, although I wish they’d flush out the idol and put Scabs out of our misery.

  10. 10
    ChaCha
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 6:18 pm

    Oh, itchy, thank you for saying what I’ve been thinking about Juggs’ stupid laugh. I can tell you’ve watched the Ponderosa video clips too. That woman is waaaay too amused with her blathering. She’s not funny and that laugh is fingernails on a blackboard.

  11. 11
    myfavoritesunglasses
    Posted November 19, 2012 at 7:13 pm

    I want to know what the heck Malcolm is telling Pete and Abi that’s not being shown. Not only did we not see them get upset with him AT ALL about his idol lie, but in the secret scenes on cbs.com, Pete counted Malcolm *multiple* times as a for sure vote to send Jonathan home this ep. The dude must be one awesome liar but we just aren’t seeing it.

  12. 12
    itchy itchy
    Posted November 20, 2012 at 12:01 am

    No doubt both Pete and Scabby have been charmed by Malcolm’s cute dimples and winning smile.

  13. 13
    zerocool
    Posted November 20, 2012 at 5:37 am

    I know I have! Rootin for Malcolm, Denise or Penner ftw.

  14. 14
    myfavoritesunglasses
    Posted November 20, 2012 at 7:28 am

    I mean, I know I have …

  15. 15
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted November 20, 2012 at 3:54 pm

    Team Malcolm, Denise, or Penner here, too! Although what a fuckall it would be if those THREE actually made it? All deserving…all competitive…all relatively nice/genuine.

    Oh, and sorry guys, but there is no laugh that can compare to the hideous, ear-gouging cackle that belongs to Ms. Whoreteny Stodden.

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