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Last week we met a group of “fans” including the cool kids’ lunch table, a man that fashions a schlong out of his own hair, and a lazy marine. One of those things is so not something I ever thought I’d see in my life.
We also rediscovered the horror of droopy pink manties, and witnessed Fransisqua gaining the dubious honor of becoming the first person to be voted out first twice. We also found out she’s a big fat liar pants who said she’d eat a rock and didn’t.
Not until you eat that damn rock!!!!
So now we rejoin the favs as they return to camp. HantzyPants is PISSED about what just happened, saying it’s the harshest thing he’s ever seen in his life. I find that hard to believe given that he’s related to Russell.
Dawn tries to calm HantzyPants down and explain to him why she voted with the others, but all she succeeds in doing is further enraging him. She tells him not to be so mean and he tells her he’s being nice right now; he’s a fucking honey badger, dude. So Dawn cries. Duh.
HantzyPants has found a confidant in Erik and tells him that he is fed up and is feeling a little revengeful. He can feel his uncle’s blood running through his veins right now. He’s thinking about going Russell Hantz style on these mother fuckers.
He tells us that he feels like Rambo and he can honestly feel his uncle’s blood running through his veins right now.
Naturally, since he’s feeling all Hantzy, he thinks it would be fun to mess things up at camp. It’s a game and he’s gonna play it dirty to the core. YAWN. Sorry, I find Hantzy and all his little cry baby antics boring as hell.
The next day at Gota, the tribe is super busy, collecting wood, boiling water, gathering food
Shamu is not about running around and getting dehydrated. He says no one is worried about his hydration but him, so he’s just gonna relax for a bit. Or all day. You know, he’s been to Iraq a couple of times so he knows how to conserve energy and stay cool in hot weather. He also thinks that once his tribe realizes that he doesn’t care about the game that they won’t see him as a threat.