Survivor Recap: Dr. PoopyPantyHead

While Sabrina showers, Kim and Chelsea chill out together and talk about how confident they are that they will make it to the end together.  Yeah, RIGHT.  Kim tells us she just really appreciates feeling normal and getting to something to eat.  You know, because she hasn’t eaten anything in, like, HOURS.

There aren’t enough reward challenges in this game to make me feel full!

That tapeworm sure is hungry!

Meanwhile, back at Camp BitterCaca, Abitchia and Christina are pissed that Chelsea picked Kim to go with her on the reward.  They don’t think that choice was FAIR at all because Kim gets to go on reward every damn time.  PLUS Chelsea promised to take Christina with her.

So what if I came back here and told y’all everything? She still shoulda held up her end of the deal!!

Abitchia tells the other two that thay have GOT to make sure that they vote Chelsea out next.  NO ONE can sway this decision!  For real!  Tarzan proposes that if Kim comes back saying they should consider voting out someone else, that they will then now she is not really on their side.  And then she will be the next to go.

Abitchia thinks it would be real stupid for Kim to go to the end with Sabrina and Chelsea, but if those three stick together, it will end up being a tie at tribal.  Then it could go to rocks, but she’ll totally do that if she has to. UGH.  I miss the fire-making tribal tie breakers.

PoopyPants has an idea!  What about if they take him to the end instead of Kim???  They could totally beat him, ya know?  Abitchia thinks it’s not a half bad idea, but she wants to wait and see what Kim’s got to say when she gets back from the reward.

But really….who’s gonna vote for a poop smelling dude to win a million dollars over my saggy tits?

Over at the yacht, Sabrina, Kim, and Chelsea are enjoying their dinner.  They’re so happy to be here, clean and eating, instead of being back at camp and miserable.  Kim tells Sabrina and Chelsea it’s either gonna be PoopyPants Brigade or them that control the next vote.  She feels pretty confident that the brigade totally thinks that she is on their side and Sabrina is in a bit of awe over Kim’s ability to make people believe that she is with them.  EXACTLY!!

People just, like, believe her and stuff!

What she doesn’t do is stop and think that Kim could be playing her as well!  Which is crazy since she is talking about how crafty Kim is!!!

Kim tells us that she is scaring herself with how easy it is for her to lie to everyone.  Now she just has to figure out how to get them to the final three with just three votes.

The next day, we head back to Camp Titty-Caca where PoopyPants is making himself some breakfast and does NOT like being questioned about his cooking methods.

Are you straining that with your poop smelling buff?

Poop makes everything taste better!

And so the bickering continues and is in full force when the other three get back from reward.  Chelsea tells us she didn’t miss this at all. 

Other things I didn’t miss:  THE SMELL OF POOP!!!

I don’t know why PoopyPants thinks it’s a good idea to be starting fights with people.  Unless they thought this out ahead of time and arguing to throw off the other three.

Oh please.  We are not that smart at all.

Have I mentioned that I’m in charge of everyone and totally running this whole thing?