Phillip says you have to be like Machiavelli who said if you come at me once I will burn your village, I will kill your aunts, uncles, and all of your children so that none of your kind will exist again. Wow. He is one crazy ass man.
But he seems to have found a few fans out here
Phillip! Phil! Philliiiiiiiiiiiip!!!!
Erik and HantzyPants take a rest in the water and catch up. Erik tells HantzyPants about Phillip’s join us or die ultimatum and they both agree that he has gots to go. Later HantzyPants brings Fransisqua up to speed and tells her that Erik told him that Phillip told him that he was in the majority alliance.
You do know he’s crazy, right?
They decide that that would be inconceivable.
Being voted out first twice would be like the worst thing ever.
CockRing and Dawn check in with each other, trying to figure out what they’re going to do. Dawn wants to work with CockRing because she wants to be with one person she can trust. Funny that she’s picking the guy that screwed her last time, but whatever. CockRing is happy to hear she wants to work with him since he didn’t know how she’d be with him after the last time they played together.
If you fuck me over again I will cut your sunburned balls off
So now that they’ve decided to work together, Dawn tells CockRing that even though she likes Fransisqua, she feels like she is a bigger threat in the game. She seems like she’s already playing a very strategic game.
Or perhaps Dawn is getting strategy and paranoia confused, because now Fransisqua is convinced that Phillip might have a hidden immunity idol so she thinks they need to split the votes between him and Corinne.
But the plan is not done with yet! HantzyPants is now super nervous about Andrea and thinks she’s playing both sides. He thinks they should get her outta there. Or stone her to death.
I heard her middle name is Jezebel, so there’s that.
So they’re getting ready to leave for tribal and Fransisqua’s alliance seems to be all over the place as far as who they’re voting for. Will they get it together before it’s time to cast those votes?
Time for Tribal.
They light their torches and have a seat. Jeff starts out by asking HantzyPants if someone is running the tribe. Hantzy says it’s like ten chiefs running around and there are no Indians.
Uh…..excuse me. I am part Indian.
Hantzy says no one is gonna get done like they were done the last time around. “Well, somebody is” Jeff counters. LOLOLOL. Too true.