Survivor Recap: Favorites My Ass!!!!!

25 Comments

1. 1
   Miss Molly
   Posted February 18, 2013 at 11:20 am

   Cochran’s hobbit feet were disturbing.

2. 2
   Mister_Dangerous
   Posted February 18, 2013 at 1:31 pm

   I like the beard schlong guy and the gay guy with the hat. (The one who fell into the water.)

   I HATE THOSE FOUR but would like to see Reynold walk around naked. Uh, just because I hate him doesn’t mean I don’t want to see him naked.

   Poor Cochran. I think he should have rubbed coconut milk on himself.

   Thanks for the recap.

3. 3
   PinkTop
   Posted February 18, 2013 at 1:53 pm

   After this mess, I hope I don’t see any Hantz uncles, nephews, brother-cousins, or what have you on my tv EVER again.

4. 4
   itchy
   Posted February 18, 2013 at 2:20 pm

   Didn’t Malcolm blow a bunch of challenges like this while under pressure last season too? Take a hint, Malcolm: Bean Bag Toss is not your game.

   Also: Bean Bag Toss. This is what Survivor has come down to.

   This episode was a huge mess. I suppose some of this can be blamed on the last minute cut — according to Reality Blurred, it was supposed to be two hours and got cut to an hour and a half at last minute. Which only left 63 minutes of actual program — including a good 10 minutes of time wasted reminding us of who these so-called “favorites” are, since they’re all mostly forgettable as players. And then another 10 minutes of absolutely pointless nature shots (which were all no doubt filmed for some other show anyway).

   But I agree, so far the so-called “fans” (not one of whom has expressed any kind of sentiment like this) seem pretty awful and I’m afraid I’ll end up rooting for the favorites too. I kind of liked the hipster twins. But now everytime I see BeardSchlong, I’m going to think : “Hey, there’s BeardSchlong!”

   Francesca deserved to go though. She’s just kind of a … drip. I think that’s why people kept voting her out.

   Another season with Philip will just about kill this show for me. He’s even worse than Hantz. And that’s pretty fucking bad.

5. 5
   Chicken Lips
   Posted February 18, 2013 at 4:53 pm

   This episode was supposed to be 2 hours? There was so much pointless crap in the 90 minutes, what in the hell were they going to put in the other 30 minutes? Is that where are the good stuff was and they just edited it all out?

   I’m on the Favorites? train, too. If you have to remind me who they are and I still don’t remember them, they aren’t a favorite. And considering Malcolm hadn’t even been on my TV yet when he was brought back, how in the hell is he a favorite? I don’t think Hantz has blackmail pictures of Probst teabagging Burnett, I think all these “favorites” teabag Probst and Burnett and that’s how they “earned” their spot.

6. 6
   Robinez
   Posted February 18, 2013 at 6:34 pm

   Damn! That was probably the most expensive piece of ass on a first date….

7. 7
   erin
   Posted February 18, 2013 at 7:09 pm

   Not that I suppose it matters too much – but the first time FVF played there were at least 2 players in the same situation as Malcolm – Amanda and (ugh) James. Can’t remember if any others. And come on, it wouldn’t take a rocket scientist to tell that Malcolm was going to be a favourite.

   I actually quite enjoyed this episode. Not the best ever, but this season does have potential.

8. 8
   Robinez
   Posted February 18, 2013 at 7:19 pm

   Just finished the recap.

   So much fun. Thanks PottyMouth. You outdid yourself with the captions, too.

   I think that they should make Fransesqua eat a rock at the reunion show ;}

   I really hope that Inspector Pink Painties and Sgt. Shamu end up as part of the merge. Only because I want to see those egos go head to head. What Fun!

9. 9
   lindaw205
   Posted February 18, 2013 at 10:37 pm

   There wasn’t enough Malcolm on. All we got to see was Malcolm in a tussle and Malcolm’s lower body blurred. No fair.

   I would like my eliminations to go thusly: the pretty 4, then Hantzy, then crazy pink panties or Shamu. There are many for me to not like this year.

   I think I’m pulling for Cochring this time. I don’t know why but I am. Maybe it was the sunburn.

10. 10
    maria
    Posted February 19, 2013 at 6:01 am

    m rooting for the faves, because like you I can’t stand the newbies already.
    And I too was laughing when 4 of them were in the water not realizing they do not have the numbers. Can’t wait for one of those asshats to get the boot!

11. 11
    hot cawfee
    Posted February 19, 2013 at 7:25 am

    Y aknow— As far as “faves” goes I think when people are booted they are asked if they are willing to come back for future shows—not being a gal who sells her soul for 30 pieces of silver to go with out showers, wine, cawfee, wine, clean clothes, wine, showers and proper bathrooms and wine, I wouldn’t come back again. I think this crew is a combo of people asked back by Burnett b/c they make good TV (No Hantz–am convinced your family has pix of Probst and Burnett) and are willing to do this again.
    OK–back to reading

12. 12
    hot cawfee
    Posted February 19, 2013 at 8:13 am

    OK—and ready!!!! When was HII mentioned???? I think we had some bad editing and eyeliner .

    I am on Team Faves too—I cannot stand Phillip and will prolly be chasing Andrea around camp with cotton balls to fix all that eye-liner. That being said I do like Beard Schlong and cant wait for The Cool Kids to start turning on each other. I hope Beard makes it to merge too.

13. 13
    Pikey578
    Posted February 19, 2013 at 8:29 am

    The best part of the show? The waving crabs. Which is so, so sad. I can’t find anyone to root for yet but there are plenty to root against. I guess I am keeping my options open at this point. Great recap as always, PottyMouth!

14. 14
    mandarine688
    Posted February 19, 2013 at 9:50 am

    Lots of people seem to have low expectations for this season… I remember reading an interview midway through last season, and Jeff was already talking this season up, saying it is the best in years. And considering how good last season was, I think we’re in for a treat.

    Either way, I’m just happy to see CockRing back. His awkward self-deprecation is so adorable <3

15. 15
    juddfan
    Posted February 19, 2013 at 12:25 pm

    I’m with you Pikey, the crabs were adorable.

    I’m rooting for Dawn, and in my book, she’s the only fave here. Cock ring was funny, but got kind of annoying. Can’t stand Philip and I wish Fransisqua took him out . . . oh well, hope the rock has plenty of iron.

    Hate the cool kids, hate Shamu hate droopy pants . . . should I be excited. I don’t hate the Hantz yet, but scenes of next week tell me that will fade . . . I love that you keep the Jezebel alive Potty!

    All I could think was, wouldn’t one get splinters sliding down that pole . . . I cringed every time.

    And call me crazy, but these faves seem like they are famous for dumb moves . . . dunno about Philip coz I just can’t with him, and I remember Dawn being somewhat heroic, and I guess Malcom had a good run, but didn’t the rest burn out in historically, stupid ways!

16. 16
    itchy
    Posted February 19, 2013 at 1:16 pm

    Well, it’s not like Probst is going to admit in an interview that the season’s going to suck balls and they made a huge and terrible mistake, is it?

17. 17
    chooch850
    Posted February 19, 2013 at 1:36 pm

    Before the show started, I watched some of the promos and noticed the clothes everyone was wearing, especially the “Faves”. They seemed to be stuck in a time warp, wearing almost identical clothes from when they were on the show before. This, it turns out, is no accident. No one, not even the ‘newbies”, are wearing their own clothes. All of them are wearing clothes provided by the CBS wardrobe department. The “Faves” are wearing clothes that will help viewers remember them, thus Philip’s pink underwear and Cochran’s long-sleeve shirt with the distinct two-toned collar.

    Just a little side note for ya……

    Loved the recap of course!

18. 18
    juddfan
    Posted February 19, 2013 at 3:05 pm

    That’s so interesting Chooch. They did a good job with Corine’s bathing suit, I just wish they at least switched the brand of pink panties to something more tailored to fit and not droop . . . just not a good look at all.

    I’m wondering why CR didn’t put on sun-block–they give it to them, don’t they?

19. 19
    chooch850
    Posted February 19, 2013 at 6:11 pm

    @juddfan, I found this to answer your question. “What is allowed? Information available states Survivor cast members have access to vital medicine, such a blood pressure medication, as well as certain items considered “minimally appropriate” like contact lens solution, sunscreen, insect repellent, and feminine products.”

    Whether Cochran used the sunscreen or not is another matter.

20. 20
    itchy
    Posted February 20, 2013 at 12:54 am

    And no doubt Hantz has hidden all the “feminine products.”

21. 21
    PinkTop
    Posted February 20, 2013 at 3:02 am

    Hantz is a “feminine product”

22. 22
    juddfan
    Posted February 20, 2013 at 10:26 am

    @my heroine, Chooch! I was pretty sure that was the case!!! I would need my moisturizer, so I’ll never be on Survivor . . .

    I’m guessing Hantz is trying to make good after his failure last time, at least, in the eyes of Russell . . . I still remember the reunion, and Russell stood up in the audience and fame-whored himself . . . such a weird and disturbed family. I hope he gets wind of the cool kids messing around and goes all Jezebel on them . . . hee . . . Or he could pelt them with the feminine products ala Carrie . . .

23. 23
    crankyguy
    Posted February 20, 2013 at 9:12 pm

    I think Li’l Hantz may be a backslider. He does not seem to be spirit-filled on this episode. There was no praying or even any sky-pointing. Maybe he doesn’t wanna piss itchy off.

24. 24
    itchy
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 12:50 am

    Give him time, crankyguy, give him time.

25. 25
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 6:54 pm

    HantzyPantz may have been speaking in tongues, cuz it seems to have erupted all over his body in bad tatts.