Survivor Recap: It’s Funny! And Exciting!

Survivor

By PottyMouth | Sunday, May 6, 2012 | 7:16 pm | 26 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Featured, Recaps, Survivor

Tarzan and his wife quickly fall behind in the challenge as do Sabrina and her brother, Tony.  For a while Kim, Kat, Chelsea, and Christina all seem to be really close, but Christina and her dad start to fade out.  So it’s seems like it’s down to three and according to Jeff, very close.

Kat and Robby get a little tangled up so Kim and her sister gain a little ground.  Until they get caught up as well.  It really comes down to Kim and her sister and Kat and her cousin; they are SUPER close…….

But ultimately, Kat wins.

You know what I was wondering at the end there?  Do any of you think that maybe Kim slowed up a little at the end not wanting to be the one who has to choose again?  Or do you think she really did get stuck a little?  I think it would have been a smart one to lose, especially given what happened the last time she had to pick who got to go and who got to stay.  Just wondering what you all thought about that theory. Anyway, Kat is so happy to have finally won something on her own.  She’s bopping around like a little kid.  Jeff tells her she can pick one other person to go with her and she immediately chooses Kim.  Jeff wonders aloud at her choice given that Kim passed her over just last week. Of course she gets to choose one other person and she picks Abitchia.  Sabrina is not happy about this.  Actually Chelsea doesn’t look too happy either.  But don’t jump to conclusions!  Kat says she has a reason for choosing the way she did.

“I’ve been wanting to hang out with these girls for a very long time.”

Well.  There you go.  That seems to have satisfied everyone, right? Jeff sends them off to enjoy the reward while everyone else takes a moment to say good bye to their loved ones.  Kim tells us that she thinks it was really selfish of Kat not to take Tarzan and Christina and she wonders how angry they are going to be.  She may end up having to do some major damage control. So.  Here’s my thing about the reward challenge and choosing of who gets to go.  I think that at this point in the game perception is so important and that’s what Kat really fucked up here.  I mean, the whole “Tarzan’s not gonna be around for much longer” thing is sort of a crock of shit; it’s not like he’s ninety years old!  And the dude CHOSE to come on the show.  Same with Christina.  She CHOSE to be out there, away from her dad.  And though he may have less than a decade more, it’s longer than he would have had without the transplant.

I guess it bugs me a little that somehow that makes them MORE deserving of time with their family.  It’s not like they’re not going to be seeing them in less than two weeks.  It’s not like they were kidnapped or something, right?  But here’s the thing…..it would have cost Kat NOTHING to take one or both of them with her, AND it would have given her some good press along the way.  So, for me, it’s not so much that she passed over more deserving reward mates, it’s that she’s so fucking stupid about it!  Hell!  Even if she took ONE of them with her, she still would have gotten points for that!!!  What a fucking moron.

I know, right?

Shit.  When ABITCHIA knows you’ve made a bad move. You’ve REALLY fucked up.

Anyway…..sorry to go off on a diatribe about it, but I hate when people do really stupid shit like that.  I’d say she should stop and think more, but I think we all know that would be Mission: Impossible.

Kim Possible?????  I love that show!

Yep.  You just know she sits at home watching the Disney channel, right? They arrive at the reward and Kat starts boasting about how she won the best reward.  She gets to eat and also spend time with Abitchia and Kim and their families.  She knows that the rest of the tribe may be pissed at her, but she’s not going to let that ruin her good time.  Over lunch, Abitchia tells the loved ones how these three have been planning to go to final three together the entire time.  Kat’s happy that they can actually talk about it because they haven’t been able to before. After lunch, Kim sits on the beach with her sister and tells her that Kat and Abitchia may indeed be her best choices to go to the end with because they will likely get less jury votes than her.  Abitchia, maybe, but is she forgetting about Douchezan’s sudden cheering on of Kat?  I think she needs to take a moment and think about that!

Obviously I’m not going to go with Chelsea because she will KICK MY ASS.

Yeah, she doesn’t actually SAY that, but you know she’s gonna turn on her before the final.  I think if Chelsea can hang in there until the final three she will win.  Hands down. Meanwhile, back at Camp Titty-Caca, Sabrina is pissed that Kat didn’t take Tarzan and Christina with her on the reward.  She actually says that if Kat had picked her she would have given it up and said Tarzan should go instead.  She thinks Kat is a bratty twenty-two year old who doesn’t deserve to go to the end.  OY.  Here we go: the part of the game where people feel the need to start talking about who DESERVES to be there.

And it sure as shit ain’t her!

Sabrina tells Chelsea, Tarzan, and Christina that they should vote out Kat next.  Chelsea wants to bring Kim into this vote (even though she doesn’t need to AT ALL).  Tarzan’s not sure that Kay should go next given that she’s not much of a strategist, but Chelsea thinks she’s dangerous because of her social game; she for one has NOT forgotten about Douchezan Kat whispering at the end of the last tribal council. The next morning Chelsea and Kim chill out on the beach and catch up.  Chelsea tells Kim that the mood back at camp while they were at reward wasn’t too pleasant, and that people are pissed at Kat because of the way everything went down.  They want Kat to go next. Kim counters by telling her that the reward three were talking about getting rid of Sabrina next because she’s much more of a threat than Kat is.  She tells Chelsea they are lucky that no one is gunning for the, right now.  She just thinks that Sabrina is the smartest and therefore the smart thing to do would be to get rid of her as soon as possible.  Chelsea just does not want to go to the end with Kat.

Oh don’t worry…..you won’t be going to the end at all if I have anything to say about it.

Time for the immunity challenge.  For this challenge they will be standing on a ledge over the water, while holding a handle attached to a rope behind their backs.  The handle and rope is attached to a winch controlled by Jeff.  Every time he cranks the winch, they will be lowered toward the water making it harder and harder to hold on.  Last person standing wins immunity.

I continue to be disturbed by the amount of ass blurring occurring this season.

Ten minutes into the challenge Sabrina is the first to fall.  Tarzan follows soon after.  Jeff lowers them a little bit more and that does it for Abitchia.  Chelsea’s fingers start slipping, so she’s soon out and just like that we are down to three: Kim, Christina, and Kat. Christina hangs on for a while, but just can’t go all the way and so she drops leaving Kat and Kim to duke it out.  It’s now been an hour and Jeff lowers them a little more.  Kat starts to whine about how she just wants to win this one.  Kim wins all of them.  She whines at Kim to let her win this one, but Kim is not having it. Kat can’t hold on any longer and falls off into the water.

Is she CRYING?  There’s no crying in Survivor!

So Kim gets yet another victory.  WOW.  What a fucking baby Kat is.  She basically sits there pouting about how Kim didn’t HAND her immunity and refuses to high five Kim.  Shit.  My seven year old has better sportsmanship than this baby!

It’s no fair!  If I could stomp my feet I would but then I’d probably splash myself in the face!  YOU’RE MEAN!!!

I guess Kat lives in one of those homes where they always let the baby win when playing games.  What a sore fucking loser. Kat’s response to losing hasn’t won her any points with her tribemates and Chelsea is now more sure than ever that Kat should be the next to go.

I’m so sick of changing diapers!

Back at camp, Sabrina congratulates both Kat and Kim for hanging in there so long.  Kat is STILL upset about the loss and is not good at all about hiding it.  She tells us she loves Kim more than anything else in the world (except her cousin), but she doesn’t think she’s ever going to be able to beat her at any of the challenges. Abitchia confirms with Kat that they are voting out Sabrina tonight and Kat is looking forward to the blindside.  Abitchia was looking forward to it too until Sabrina dropped out first at the immunity challenge and made herself less of a threat.  Now Abitchia is worried about competing against Kat since she almost won the challenge. So…..she goes to Kim and says she thinks it might make sense to get rid of Kat before Sabrina.  Kim does not want to do that.  Abitchia says that Kat is a threat in challenges, just like Douchezan was.  While they’re talking, Sabrina comes over and Abitchia tells her it’s going to be Kat next.  Sabrina agrees.

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PottyMouth

When she isn't screaming curses at various dance show judges or washing her OWN mouth out with soap, PottyMouth is a proud mama to a gorgeous little boy. And yes, she knows everyone says that about their kids, but it's true when she says it. YES IT IS. Fuck you. She also laments throwing away the chance to be a trophy wife, and would like to find a rich husband so she can sit on her ass all day long and watch TV. If you are fabulously wealthy, look like Hugh Jackman (or ARE in fact Hugh Jackman), and are turned on by foul-mouthed, mature, slightly smooshy women, then she just may be the gal for you. Please send picture, references and your latest bank statement for review.

26 Comments

  1. 1
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted May 6, 2012 at 8:34 pm

    I loved this episode…from Kat getting a fun and exciting blindside to Tarzan being so cool at tribal about not going on the reward (which was smart on his part,) this may have been the best episode this season.

    Kat and her “cousin?” Creeped me out.

  2. 2
    ChaCha
    Posted May 6, 2012 at 9:18 pm

    I agree with you, PottyM, about the two best shows this season. They’re the only ones from this dippy season that make me holler with glee and clap. The rest of them…meh.

  3. 3
    Robin Robinez
    Posted May 6, 2012 at 10:51 pm

    I did this backassward and read the comments first. Kat and her cousin creeped me out, too. The crawling thing? What was that about? Who crawls like that toward another person? It was icky. And creepy.

    And it was also one of the most enjoyable TC’s we have had in a very long time. :-)

    TC, Robin

  4. 4
    carol
    Posted May 6, 2012 at 11:17 pm

    I love the screen-grabs from the night vision camera, they always look so scary.

    I love the family challenges but it is really unfair to have such a physical challenge. If it was balancing or holding on, maybe. The best ones are the eating challenges. I think your theory of Kim not wanting to win might be right. Who do you think Kim would have picked to go with her?

    Kat’s line before heading off to the reward about getting drunk was amazing. How could she be so stupid? As soon as her ‘cousin’ came out, everything she said made me realize that she really is as dumb as she appears, it is not an act.

    Kat attitude after the Immunity challenge was way worse than Troy’s last week. He was at least silent, Kat made a show out of it.

    Even with the obvious editing, it was still a shock to see Kat voted out. One of the best surprises of the season, but it was still shocking. I don’t care if it was a good move for the remaining players, it was pure ratings gold.

  5. 5
    Robin Robinez
    Posted May 6, 2012 at 11:55 pm

    The same thought crossed my mind as Kim and her sister slowed down a bit. She didn’t want to look like the bad guy again, especially during this emotional family challenge. So, she tanked it on purpose. I have a feeling that Kat’s fate was sealed before this challenge anyway, so it didn’t matter.

    I have yet to see the person who was picked “least deserves to be here” kicked out in the same episode. Or in the following episode. Christine was staying. That “Least deserves to be here” puts a bug in folks ears and they get all happy because if they are sitting next to “least deserves” they win! Yaayy.. NOT. :) Still have to win challenges.

    I dont know what kind of influence Douchezan has on the early jury. But I will bet it isn’t much.

    I think Chelsea could go all the way. I also think she could easily sway others to get rid of Kim when the time is right.

    Thanks for a great Recap :-)

    Robin

  6. 6
    itchy itchy
    Posted May 7, 2012 at 6:08 am

    No doubt, if Kim really did throw the challenge, we would have known about it, since Kim seems to get 90 percent of the private interviews. But since I don’t have much faith in her gameplay — I think she’s just been lucky that she’s with a bunch of losers this season (and I also suspect either Chelsea or Sabrina or both are using her as their point guard) — I think she really was trying to win. Of course, winning the immunity challenge is more important but she should have thrown that one, since she’s just setting herself up as a too-powerful player to go to the end with.

    I’m really hoping Chelsea will sneak up from behind on this one, but she doesn’t seem to have the cut-throat-ability the game requires.

    At this point, I’d like to see Kim bring Tarzan to the end — and then watch all of the guys on the jury, plus Kat, vote for him. Not that I want Tarzan to win. But I think it’d be a fitting end to a pretty lame season.

  7. 7
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted May 7, 2012 at 7:07 am

    I don’t know why they just don’t get rid of the last penis and then decide the pecking order for the ladies. Clearly these people don’t watch previous seasons, because if they had, they’d know that in the Vanuatu season where the women were also dominant, they imploded at the end instead of taking out Chris, who all the jury penises voted for winning. No matter how annoying Kat may have been, she was nothing more than a vote and the girls should have realized that her sway over the guys is less than Tarzan’s, because he survived for days with the knowledge that he’d be voted out “next.” We all know that in Survivor, gender politics plays a greater role in the game than respected game play and if Tarzan keeps making it, then any woman losing would be her own fault.

    I must admit I gave up on this season after Colton left and I wasn’t impressed when I returned this week. Kat’s blindside was one of the better ones I’ve seen and, lastly, Kat must have a higher opinion of herself than Survivor fans do if she thinks that giving Jeff Probst a blow job is going to get her back for another season.

  8. 8
    BellicoseBaby
    Posted May 7, 2012 at 9:07 am

    I thought the funniest line of the episode was dingbat Kat crying, “I lost to Kim, and she’s 28! How embarassing to lose to someone six years older!” or something like that. Along with “I can’t believe I went out before Tarzan and Christine!!! WAH!!!” shows how TOTALLY clueless she was about the game.

  9. 9
    zerocool
    Posted May 7, 2012 at 10:25 am

    Excellent recap to an excellent episode. But I have a big bone to pick with TPTB. Letting relatives do a physical challenge is not only unfair to them, it’s stupid. Here’s what will happen, if future survivors thinks it through. Example: instead of picking my older mom with back problems to come on the show, I’ll pick my super-fit brother. Less emotions for the camera, but it might get me some food on a reward.

    Anyway, looking forward to some fall out – rooting for Tarzan to win this thing.

  10. 10
    JimmyT JimmyT
    Posted May 7, 2012 at 10:41 am

    @Robin: Yeah, Kat’s crawling was pretty creepy…I think she even barked like a dog at one point! I love her edit and how progressively troll-like she started looking.

    I agree that the show has been boring, but I think that there’s been a fair amount of subtle game play going on: I think Kim did throw the comp to get someone else to chose. She is also smart in that if the rest of the group seems to be leaning in a different direction (like this week with Kat), she goes with the majority rather than bully people into her choice like other people do in this show. That way, the rest of her “allies” feel like they are a team and making decision together. That strategy is going to get tougher though.

    Sabrina might be playing too by throwing the immunity competition and by broadcasting to everyone how she would have given her place up for Tarzan or Christina. She is trying to be seen as soft and a pushover, probably hoping that Kim will start to get more paranoid about Chelsea (clearly, the most sincere/honest player of the bunch). I even think that Tarzan has been playing everyone by being the obnoxious old guy. Now that he seems to have a lock at the end, he seems to be slipping and a much more reasonable and somewhat smarter guy is starting to show through.

  11. 11
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted May 7, 2012 at 11:06 am

    Tarzan is an asshole if his response to Christina’s “Do you like me?” question several weeks back is any indication. But, at this point, I have come around to wanting him to win anyway. If he is a poor plastic surgeon, then he needs the win so he can put shocks on his Jeep. If he is a rich plastic surgeon, then I also like to see people who are successful in their fields succeed in other endeavors too. So even if he’s an asshole — rich or poor — go Tarzan.

  12. 12
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted May 7, 2012 at 11:14 am

    I think you might have Sabrina figured out, JimmyT. She seemed to be overplaying it a bit in her righteous indignation that Tarzan and Christina weren’t chosen for the reward. And there is NO WAY that Tarzan could outlast her on that immunity challenge if she were at all serious about wanting to win it.

  13. 13
    Metal_Mandi
    Posted May 7, 2012 at 11:30 am

    Kat was just awful. I’m sorry, but at 22, ten years ago, I was managing a small transportation company with 35 employees underneath me, and going to school full time. It’s not her age, she’s just a moron.

  14. 14
    itchy itchy
    Posted May 7, 2012 at 11:41 am

    Crankyguy, if Tarzan’s wife is an indication of the quality of his work, then, yeah, he really needs to win this.

  15. 15
    Clair Clair
    Posted May 7, 2012 at 11:44 am

    I think the women are planning on voting out Tarzan when it gets down to 4. They’re keeping him around now because they can beat him in challenges. If so, it’ll be interesting to see what the immunity challenge is when it does get down to 4 – maybe a medical terminology challenge!

  16. 16
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted May 7, 2012 at 12:51 pm

    So KAT was an idiot all along. It wasn’t an act. That’s not surprising. Philip’s behavior wasn’t an act either. You know, SURVIVOR just casts people who are idiots. I’m sure there are some of you (and I know who you are because I’ve written your names down) that think KAT had great game play. [She didn’t do anything. She was under the radar. She made no enemies.] As far as I’m concerned the little twit got exactly what she deserved and it was fun to watch. It would have been better if she had thrown herself on the ground, while CRYING, but I guess that’s too much to ask.

    Now, as far as that KIM goes. I like her because she’s very mannish. I think she’s got some Y chromosomes oozing through her. Exhibit A: her mustache. Kim is completely unemotional which is odd for a lady on this show. I can see Kim as a professional assassin. A real skinny Le Femme Nikita. I looked at her CBS bio which was very revealing.

    I normally like tough HE-MEN like the greatest SURVIVOR of them all Russell Hantz, and that Yul, that Tom W., that Alan Alda sounding guy, etc. but Kim could hold her own with any of these HE-MEN.

  17. 17
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted May 7, 2012 at 1:00 pm

    @MisterDangerous, it’s a little unfair to compare Kat who is immature and selfish to Philip, who was dragged to the end because he was unhinged and delusional. I do wish that someone who is cast for their “personality” will one day make it to the end and say to the jury, something along the lines of ‘my nuttiness/selfishness/delusion was a deliberate choice to get someone to take me to the end and I outplayed all of you to get there.’ I bet that person could have been Colton, but at this point, I really just feel that the casting department of this show needs to be fired.

  18. 18
    itchy itchy
    Posted May 7, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    I’m still dreaming that one day someone will pull off the fake-idiot gambit and win the entire show. Obviously, Kat’s not the one. But the nutty/crazy/delusional gambit would be equally satisfying. A guy can dream, right?

    A little facial hair on a woman has never bothered me, Mr. D. It can, in fact, be quite sexy.

  19. 19
    featherhead
    Posted May 7, 2012 at 1:43 pm

    Itchy – wasn’t Fabio faking the idiot thing and actually won?
    Mr D – You have me dying over here!

  20. 20
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted May 7, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    “I’m still dreaming that one day someone will pull off the fake-idiot gambit and win the entire show.”

    The only person I have faith in is Roger Kint. ;)

  21. 21
    zerocool
    Posted May 7, 2012 at 3:40 pm

    Mr D – you crack me up!!!!

  22. 22
    lindaw205
    Posted May 7, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    You know, you’re right. It would have been SO cool if Kat had flung herself on the ground while kicking, screaming, AND crying. What a crowning trifecta it would have been. Funny and exciting, too!

  23. 23
    Robin Robinez
    Posted May 7, 2012 at 4:58 pm

    @ itchy,

    She does get major face- time. She is always a good Mystery pick for Fantasy Survivor when the question is “who will say…blah blah?”

  24. 24
    Moli Moli
    Posted May 7, 2012 at 8:40 pm

    I loved the blindside, reality tv gold. The look on her face as each vote was read…priceless…*as Kat walks away you hear her softly sobbing*…bwahahahahaaha. What gets me is she was more offended by an 28 year old lasting longer than freaking Christina and Tarzan. These girls are stupid if they think they should take Tarzan to with them to the final 3, the men will vote for him out of spite. I’m in the Kim threw the challenge club, there is no way she honestly lost. I think Sabrina is throwing the challenges as well if she makes it to final 4 she will suddenly kill it. I’m starting to root for Chelsea if she is playing the game I think she playing her name should be Stealthy, she’s out in the open but on the shadows.

  25. 25
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted May 7, 2012 at 8:45 pm

    Does Kim still have the idol hidden in her crotch?

  26. 26
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 3:34 pm

    You guys all make some valid points. I hadn’t thought about Kim throwing the challenge, but in retrospect I think she did. Good move. I’m not entirely convinced Sabrina did, however.

    What has me worried is how far Aleechia (that’s what I call her – she’s leeching off of the others) has come. Sweet holy shit on a stick, Batman, what if she’s final three?! Eh, I guess I shouldn’t worry. She won’t win the damn thing, anyway (knock on wood knock on wood KNOCK ON WOOD).

    Great recap, as usual PM.

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