Survivor Recap: Life’s a Scabby, Then You Cry

Survivor

By PottyMouth | Tuesday, November 27, 2012 | 9:42 am | 12 Comments
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Posted in: Recaps, Survivor

The geezers are sent back to camp with nuttin.

As the young uns arrive at Spa Survivor, they are greeted by a hostess bearing cocktails.  They toast to their victory and then agree to take this day off from the game; no talk of strategy.  Malcolm tells us the reason he wants a break from it all is that he knows he needs to strike a final three or four deal soon and all the people he wants in that alliance are back at camp right now.  Sorry Spicoli, looks like you’re not making Malcolm’s dream team.

He is either oblivious to that or stoned and thinking about ordering a pizza.

As they sip their cocktails, trays of food arrive and Scabby is super excited.  After all, she’s existed on beans and sandy coconuts for the last twenty six days; she feels like a princess right now.  Pete just appreciates the time to relax and eat good food.  He knows he’s smart (debatable) and fit (okay, gotta give him that) and with food, it’s like a boost for those two things.  He’s gonna be refueled and ready to kick some butt.

Meanwhile, Scabby is being attacked by the flowers of the island which also appear to hate her.

Back at camp they’re working together to make a meal.  Looks like everyone is enjoying the quiet and working well together.  Well, we can’t have that!  Time to bring back the young uns. 

The second Scabby hits the shore she starts talking and talking and talking about how FABULOUS the reward was and describing everything in detail.  She either has no clue or doesn’t give a shit that it’s pissing off her tribemates because she keeps going and going and going.

Did I tell you what a good time we all had because we had a really good time.  Like a really, really good time.  Like it was like an oasis in the desert.  I was a princess.  Like Cinderella.  Like I feel like I’m having a food baby that will be a princess as well.  And then rainbows filled the sky and it rained champagne….Can you even comprehend how wonderful it all was?

Skupin tells us that usually people are really gracious when they come back from a reward (no sense in pissing off the people that didn’t get to go) but Scabby flaunted it and just wouldn’t shut the fuck up.  Lisa tries to save everyone by asking Carter what he liked best about the reward, but Scabby cuts him off and continues talking about what she liked best.

Even my vag feels like a princess.

Malcolm compares her social understanding to a Mack truck.  You can feel how uncomfortable Malcolm, Spicoli, and Pete are during this whole thing and at one point I swear Spicoli was looking at Malcolm with a look that screamed “Make it stop!!”

If I could I would Dude!

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PottyMouth

When she isn't screaming curses at various dance show judges or washing her OWN mouth out with soap, PottyMouth is a proud mama to a gorgeous little boy. And yes, she knows everyone says that about their kids, but it's true when she says it. YES IT IS. Fuck you. She also laments throwing away the chance to be a trophy wife, and would like to find a rich husband so she can sit on her ass all day long and watch TV. If you are fabulously wealthy, look like Hugh Jackman (or ARE in fact Hugh Jackman), and are turned on by foul-mouthed, mature, slightly smooshy women, then she just may be the gal for you. Please send picture, references and your latest bank statement for review.

12 Comments

  1. 1
    Dilly
    Posted November 27, 2012 at 11:07 am

    I brought this up in the minicap comments but I’m throwing it out there again. Why didn’t Abi vote for Pete once she realized they were going to split the vote? Then it’s 4 for Pete 3 for Abi and 1 for Malcom. Abi keeps her idol, Pete goes home. Then at the next vote she tells everyone she MIGHT play her idol. The 6 can’t risk voting for her and vote Lisa.

    Why oh why don’t people take advantage of having the idol???

  2. 2
    L Chienne
    Posted November 27, 2012 at 11:10 am

    LOVED that Jeff called BS on awful Abi. Some people need to be hit over the head; she’s apparently one of them. I thrived.

  3. 3
    blazergirl
    Posted November 27, 2012 at 12:22 pm

    Jeff continuously pushing the cultural thing was so aggravating! I have a friend who is from Brazil, and didn’t move to the states until his late 20′s. And he is one of the nicest, friendliest people I have ever met. I get there are some cultural differences, but that doesn’t give an excuse to treat people badly. Abi is just a mean girl, plain and simple.

  4. 4
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted November 27, 2012 at 12:32 pm

    3 things:
    1) I really wanted Malcolm to play his idol because I was worried for him. I said to the TV, “Malcolm, don’t risk it….play it!”
    AND
    2) Somebody asked Carter what he liked about the reward and Carter began to speak BUT THEN Scabby cut him off and talked more about what she liked. The camera stayed on Carter’s face after he was interrupted and in that moment I suddenly liked Carter much, much more.
    3) It’s time for SCABBY to go. Vote her out! Vote her out!

  5. 5
    itchy itchy
    Posted November 27, 2012 at 1:56 pm

    Dilly: It’s because Abi’s an idiot. That’s why she’s becoming less and less fun to watch. I wouldn’t mind her being such a bitch if she seemed like she knew what she was doing. Still, it’s fun to watch her slow implosion — it’s kind of like the Wicked Witch in the Wizard of Oz…. I’m melting! I’m melting!

  6. 6
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted November 27, 2012 at 2:12 pm

    I must have zoned out for some episodes because I don’t recall when Carter got into the main alliance…for some reason I thought he was with Scabby, et al. He’s a dufus but a wily one. I hope they all keep that in mind.

    My heart almost stopped – swear – when Malcolm didn’t play his idol. Thankfully he didn’t get the boot. I would have been soooo sad and annoyed. Malcolm, Denise and Penner (or even Lisa) for the final three!

    Does anyone remember when it was a final TWO? I think I may have liked that better, and I know I liked it better when they found out who won IN THE FOREST. Shit, was that only the first season? How effing cool was that very first season when the word “alliance” was virtually unheard of? Every
    person for themselves and a vote at the end for the BEST player, not the most popular. Sigh.

    This is a long-ass comment, oh well. Does anyone recall when the last chance to play a HII is?

    Okay, lastly (promise), although I absolutely believe some of Scabby’s issues really are “cultural”, I find it impossible to believe that not one person in her whole damn life has ever called her out for being a bitch. Puh-leeze.

  7. 7
    ChaCha
    Posted November 27, 2012 at 2:53 pm

    If these people don’t vote out Scabby this week, then they’re all dumb as a box of rocks and deserve to get kicked out themselves. And WTF is Jeff’s pity party for Scabby? If I was his wife, I’d be wondering that myself. Can’t wait to see RC and Scabby thrown together at the Ponderosa!

  8. 8
    juddfan juddfan
    Posted November 27, 2012 at 3:46 pm

    I skipped to a new taping show when this was on, then forgot I didn’t see the end . . . sigh . . . but I’m kind of glad I missed that tribal!

    I’m still pulling for Denise! Amazing that Malcom and she are still in it! I guess I could say the same for Skupin and Penner.

    See ya, Mastermind!

  9. 9
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted November 27, 2012 at 4:45 pm

    I think you have to play the idol before it gets to be Final Four.

    I, too, preferred a final two. It made the strategy much different.

  10. 10
    Channel Dasher Channel Dasher
    Posted November 28, 2012 at 11:01 am

    It’s been an interesting season – much better than I had suspected when it started. The “3 tribes” and “returning players” concept didn’t bode well. However, this season has broken a chain of seasons without very many smart players. And surprisingly, except for RC, Kent and Abi, they are not unlikeable. One bad thing about the 3 tribe concept is that some people (like Artis and Carter) got very little exposure so it’s really difficult to form any opinions about them. BTW, I think that Carter could screw up everyone’s “final six” plans as he can win individual immunities.

    As exciting as tribal council might be tonight, if Abi goes home (and Dilly I agree – she should have voted for Pete and saved her idol) the Ponderosa videos are going to be choice.

  11. 11
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted November 28, 2012 at 2:45 pm

    It did, didn’t it, cattyfan. I don’t know why the final three thing came about. If [fried and unreliable] memory serves, isn’t the voting usually a blowout for one person?

    @Channel Dasher you are so right about it being a surprisingly good season with mostly likable peeps left…let’s hope those are the ones who actually get to the end.

  12. 12
    timgunnssister timgunnssister
    Posted November 29, 2012 at 11:28 am

    I too believe that Carter is the ‘sleeper’ of this season. He’s really good at challenges (when they’re physical) and it doesn’t appear that anyone dislikes him. Actually, it doesn’t appear that anyone thinks of him at all. I keep waiting for Jeff to ask him what his name is.

    He could go all the way depending on who else is in the Final 3. If it’s him and either Skupin or Penner, he’d beat them. And Mr.timgunnssister disagrees with me, but I suspect that Malcolm and Denise don’t stand a chance with this jury. That leaves (am I really saying this?) Scabby and Lisa. And I don’t think too many of them would give their vote to Scabby. So, Lisa? Really?

    Um, no. The world is simply not that cruel. Frankly, I’m not certain why she’s even still there. No gameplay, wishy washy and so very, very tortued. I don’t want to see people having emotional issues day in and day out – I want gameplay. And I’d love to see Denise take this.

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