Survivor Recap: May the Best Woman…..Win!

Survivor

By PottyMouth | Friday, May 18, 2012 | 12:00 pm | 29 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Survivor

Much better.

Time for the last immunity challenge.  Jeff gets the immunity necklace back from Kim and explains what their challenge will entail.  Each person will use a long pole to move a small wooden bowl through a steel maze-like structure.  When they reach the top they will place the bowl on the platform on top of said structure and head back for another.  Rinse and repeat for a total of ten bowls.

To make things even more interesting, the structure is perched on a spring.  So anytime they touch it, it wobbles and they bowls night fall down.  Where’s a weeble when you need it?  First person to successfully stack all three bowls wins immunity and a spot in the final three.

Let’s go!

From the beginning it seems like Kim and Christina have the best handle on this challenge.  Both of them move very steadily throughout the challenge, although Kim does maintain a decent lead throughout.  Even dropping a bowl, she still manages to keep just ahead of Christina.  So it’s no surprise when she wins.

Damn, she’s good.

Obviously Kim is THRILLED to have won immunity.  She tells us that to go to tribal knowing it’s not gonna be her going home feels super great.

Christina approaches Kim and asks if she’s the one going home tonight.  She’d rather know ahead of time than be blindsided.  Kim tells her the plan is indeed to send her packing.

Oh, okay then.  Good talk.  Hugsies!

Unreal.  She’s not going to try anything to stay in the game?  Nothing at all?  You know, I used to feel sorry for her, but she really is a moron.  Not that that excuses the vile things Colon and Abitchia said to her, but WOW.  She may be the dumbest person I’ve seen out here in a long time.  Wait.  I just thought of some other really stupid people.  Hmmm……

Kim tells Chelsea about her chat with Christina, but later tells us that she’s starting to second guess herself.  This tribal council will determine who she’s sitting with at the end and she knows Christina probably wouldn’t get any votes.  Should she take at least one person she knows will not be a threat at all?  Decisions, decisions…..

Once again, Jeff wants to know if there was any scrambling back at camp after the challenge.  Nope.

No??????

Sabrina tells him that basically everyone knew how the cards were laid out and people didn’t see the need to scramble.  Christina puts her two cents in saying she knows she’s the one getting the boot.  She doesn’t think it would have done anything for her to scramble; she knows that Chelsea, Sabrina and Kim all have a really tight alliance.  She doesn’t think there’s really anything she could have done to break that.  BUT….she does think she’s more deserving than Sabrina because Sabrina wasn’t so great in challenges and didn’t make big decisions.

Oh, NOW you want to speak up???

Sabrina says she actually was involved in the big decisions.  She wonders whether Christina has ever really been in the game to win it, especially given that she didn’t even bother fighting for herself all day.  Kim adds her thoughts, saying if she was Christina she sure as shit would have tried coming up with something that would keep her in the game.

She admits that Christina’s not a bad choice of someone to keep around; she’s not a fighter and she sucks.  Kim tells Jeff that you’ve got to weigh your options and at the end of the day things aren’t always as clear as they might seem.  Uh oh……does that mean she’s gonna keep Christina?

Well, we’ll soon find out because it’s time to vote.  Christina votes for Sabrina, but the other three are all her, and so…..

Sayonara Stupid.

And now, Gasmi…..we’ve finally reached day 39.  FINALLY.  This has felt like the longest season EVER. 

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PottyMouth

When she isn't screaming curses at various dance show judges or washing her OWN mouth out with soap, PottyMouth is a proud mama to a gorgeous little boy. And yes, she knows everyone says that about their kids, but it's true when she says it. YES IT IS. Fuck you. She also laments throwing away the chance to be a trophy wife, and would like to find a rich husband so she can sit on her ass all day long and watch TV. If you are fabulously wealthy, look like Hugh Jackman (or ARE in fact Hugh Jackman), and are turned on by foul-mouthed, mature, slightly smooshy women, then she just may be the gal for you. Please send picture, references and your latest bank statement for review.

29 Comments

  1. 1
    carol
    Posted May 18, 2012 at 1:12 pm

    Kim looks like she could be Zac Efron’s mom, they sort of have the same pinched face, blue eyes look going on.

    The photo of Abitchia on page two sort of summarizes her in a nut shell for this season – gross, nasty, always running her mouth, in need of a real bra, no common sense (why is she giving the camera a crotch shot??). Her exit interview was just awful, getting in those parting shots about Christina, what was the point except to show how lame Abitchia really is. And her fake apology at the reunion, I would have believed it if show was only awful while other people were around, but she was bad even during the diary sessions.

    After 39 days, how are these girls girls eyebrows still in such good shape?? How did Jay loose 30 pounds but Abitchia only loose 15?

    The photo/captions for the fallen comrades was AWESOME!!!

    I really don’t think there would have been any point to Christina trying to scramble and stay, she was going home no matter what. After 38 days of fighting, she was probably just tired of it.

    I really liked how Jonas started his question at final tribal, all serious and bitchy, but then reveled he was just kidding. I wonder if the producers knew he was going to do that and that is why he went first. It was a nice ice breaker. Also, I really don’t believe Kat at all about open heart surgery. Even if she had surgery as an infant, she would have had some sort of scar on her chest. Also, the fact that she didn’t mention that at any time during the whole show? Then sort of blew off the question at reunion, odd.

    I loved how even Colon’s mom was disappointed in him. And Blossom only liked Colon because she wanted to see Karma visit him in the game and kick his ass, but I still think that part was totally pointless.

  2. 2
    itchy itchy
    Posted May 18, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    I thought they brought Blossom on as a PSA warning against the dangers of chin implants.

  3. 3
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted May 18, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    It looks like Dr. Skidmark’s wife has a chin implant too. And I’m gonna ask what I did in the minicap, since that probably won’t be opened as much now that this full recap is up, but shouldn’t Kat have a obvious scar, a scar that I never noticed, from her (two so far, I believe she said) open heart surgeries?

  4. 4
    lindaw205
    Posted May 18, 2012 at 3:54 pm

    I was hoping Blossom was there to run up on the stage and cut Colon with her chin. But no, she wants to see him again! I’m not watching if they bring KKKolton back.

    I thought Kim did a great job and deserved her win. And I hope Abitchia got a much deserved wake up call and learns from this. What a C*.

    Kat has a scar on her chest, not an obvious one but it is there. I read somewhere that she has an artificial valve and those have to be replaced at intervals.

  5. 5
    leslilly
    Posted May 18, 2012 at 6:36 pm

    “Why oh why is Abitchia’s ass now blurred out?????”

    ^Ass hair. She is related to Land of the Lost’s Chakka, after all.

    Seriously though, I have contemplated the blurring & I think CBS doesn’t like escaping buttcheeks.

  6. 6
    leslilly
    Posted May 18, 2012 at 7:11 pm

    Granted, I’ve never been a contestant in the game of Survivor, but I have to wonder each season that one player dominates – why oh why don’t the others vote them off when they have a chance? It makes for a dull season when someone like Rob (in the what?, 4th season?,) wins or Kim.

  7. 7
    zerocool
    Posted May 18, 2012 at 8:21 pm

    Worst. Jury. Ever.

    So true.

    In defense of Amy Farrah-Fowler, aka Blossom, you have to admit that Colon was playing on a whole other level than the other survivors and he made it very interesting. He had a legitimate chance of winning. When he left, it was sooooo boring.

    Don’t get me wrong, I don’t ever want to see the despicable guy on tv again, but when he was there it made a good show.

  8. 8
    Robin Robinez
    Posted May 18, 2012 at 8:30 pm

    Thanks PottyMouth,

    When Abitchia was helpfully opening all the other bags, my first thought was “Jeff is gonna tell on her”..then darnit, he did. He really thinks he controls the game at times. I have noticed this during Tribal Council when he asks pointed questions and his commentary is onesided many times. I loved the fact that you referenced his question about going to Tribal Council with immunity to someone that wasn’t even there :-) That was fun.

    Your page 2 pic of Abitchia wins the ugliest pic award.

    Along with prob most of the folks watching Survivor who used this as intermission, I didn’t see the fallen comrade’s segment, but I loved yours.

    OK. Tarzan loves his wife. He is a plastic Surgeon. His wife’s chin looks like something on Wizard of Oz.

    Question(s).

    Is he a bad plastic surgeon and he did this to someone he loves? Is he allowing his wife to walk around with that chin because he loves her and knows he is a terrible plastic surgeon, so he won’t work on her? Does he still need new shocks on his truck?

    I hope you don’t mind if I add that our TVGasm Fantasy Survivor Team came in #74 out of # 298.

    TC, Robin

  9. 9
    leslilly
    Posted May 18, 2012 at 9:03 pm

    This season wins as the weirdest in one sense – it was the season of Unknown Alliances. As far as I know, they never showed Tarzan’s alliance w/the women until the 2nd from last episode. And Christine aligning with Abitchia? That still has me wigged out!

    I think Carol said above that Christine didn’t fight to be in the final 3 because she was tired of it all…well, then Christine’s even dumber than I thought if that was her reason. I mean, c’mon…you have a chance of going to the final 3 and that’s when you decide to give up?! She’s a silly woman.

  10. 10
    leslilly
    Posted May 18, 2012 at 9:11 pm

    Also, I meant to say that just to quiet the nagging voice in my head, I would have tried my best if I were Christine. You don’t want to always wonder “what if?”….

    Carol, I agree w/you re: Kat and her surgery. I wondered the same. It was all very odd.

    I usually can’t stand to see people cry (it makes me well up), but I enjoyed seeing Abitchia cry. I’m glad she apologized, but I tend to think she was crying for the wrong reasons (fear of losing job, fear of having a shit personality?).

    Colon was disgusting at the reunion. Can’t stand that dildo.

    Tarzan looked like shit! The long hair looks bad on him, and he looked stoned out of his mind.

    Re: Michael/Mike – remember those sketches in the back of magazines that were ads for Drawing School? It would say “draw this!” and had an example sketch. Well, Mike looks like the lumberjack.

    Worst Jury EVER is correct. The final tribal was so dull. Everyone seemed to get up and have something to share about themselves instead of making it about the final 3. I can’t bear to listen to Tarzan.

    Oh, I have to agree with you, Chelsea is very sweet. I LOL’d when she referred to herself as a “hardass” during the final tribal and also when her dad visited. Also, the “Chelsea, why do you hate people?” question….odd. But I have to say that the editing was enormous this season – there is so much we didn’t see, apparently.

    The reunion was the worst too. Let’s hope next season isn’t as bad as this one.

  11. 11
    leslilly
    Posted May 18, 2012 at 9:17 pm

    Crankyguy, I wondered the same re: Kat’s scar.

  12. 12
    Robin Robinez
    Posted May 18, 2012 at 9:38 pm

    “Let’s hope next season isn’t as bad as this one.”

    Let’s Hope. Because as far as I am concerned, if they continue to eat better than I do on Weds night’s yet they can’t manage to spring for a few carpenters and somebody with an idea for a new challenge instead of recycling old one’s, it is going to get older than it already is and I will probably take many intermissions.

    Tc, Robin

  13. 13
    ChaCha
    Posted May 18, 2012 at 10:18 pm

    If Colon comes back on this next season, I won’t watch. The twatwaffle (I love that term!) is just sooooo unworthy of anymore chances on this or any other show.

  14. 14
    Robin Robinez
    Posted May 18, 2012 at 10:49 pm

    @ChaCha,

    “If Colon comes back on this next season, I won’t watch.”

    Oh! I forgot to mention the “3 Survivors return after leaving for medical reasons” in my post. I truly do not want him to be one of them.

    Should we expect lot’s of food and clumsy people on old rickety structures while a medivac stands by next season?

    TC, Robin

  15. 15
    Pikey
    Posted May 18, 2012 at 10:53 pm

    It was definitely a boring season but the right person won. I would love to see Penner on next season – he can make anything interesting! I want to thank you for the great recaps, PottyMouth – you are one of the best!!!

  16. 16
    itchy itchy
    Posted May 18, 2012 at 11:39 pm

    This season was just too frustrating. Why didn’t Chelsea, Sabrina and Christina get together to boot Kim out? How come no one EVER tried to get her out? But yeah, I think they were all playing for second-place: they all get paid anyway, and suddenly receiving a million dollars can do serious damage to your life.

    Mike = Lumberjack: Hah!

  17. 17
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted May 19, 2012 at 1:52 am

    I would love for Colon to come back for a second season. If only because he has been saying he would’ve won if not for his sickness. Let him come back to play again; he is sure to be eliminated rather quickly. I prefer a bitter Colon to a smug Colon!

    (A smug Colon is full of shit..a bitter one is a harm to himself. I know which one I’d prefer.. haha!)

  18. 18
    pretty good year
    Posted May 19, 2012 at 7:26 am

    On the one hand, I wanted Jeff to not tell Alicia she was taking the wrong bags. However, if he hadn’t, then she would have screwed over another contestant by taking their puzzle pieces. He had to tell her. It didn’t just affect her.

  19. 19
    pretty good year
    Posted May 19, 2012 at 7:35 am

    Also, Colton won’t be returning for Philippines. Philippines finished filming earlier this month, but Colton has been active on Facebook and Twitter throughout the entire filming schedule.

  20. 20
    pretty good year
    Posted May 19, 2012 at 7:37 am

    Also, Crankyguy, I don’t know how you haven’t noticed Kat’s scar. It was pretty evident to me. I also follow her on Twitter, and it’s very obvious in some of her pictures there.

  21. 21
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted May 19, 2012 at 9:51 am

    “Also, Crankyguy, I don’t know how you haven’t noticed Kat’s scar. It was pretty evident to me. I also follow her on Twitter, and it’s very obvious in some of her pictures there.

    If the surgeries had been mentioned earlier in the season instead of on the last episode, then I would have made an effort to look for a scar. I’m not the only one to have missed it, so it must not have been THAT obvious, like, “Holy Crap! What’s with that scar on Kat’s chest?” Also, I don’t follow her on Twitter, so her pictures there haven’t been seen by me. But, thanks for letting me know that there is a scar, because I thought she was making stuff up.

  22. 22
    itchy itchy
    Posted May 19, 2012 at 10:43 am

    Um. I wasn’t looking at Kat for scars.

  23. 23
    See-Jay
    Posted May 19, 2012 at 1:33 pm

    Kim’s win was well-deserved and she’ll probably go down as one of my favorite players, but I’d be interested to see how she’d fair in a season where she isn’t playing with idiots.

  24. 24
    leslilly
    Posted May 19, 2012 at 10:22 pm

    “Should we expect lot’s of food and clumsy people on old rickety structures while a medivac stands by next season?

    TC, Robin”

    Ha – that’s probably accurate (sadly). They need to do something STAT because at this point, I’m mainly watching Survivor for the scenery instead of the drama. And I do mean the real scenery – ocean, palm trees, beaches – not the peeps.

  25. 25
    leslilly
    Posted May 19, 2012 at 10:27 pm

    itchy, glad someone got my lumberjack reference. we must be around the same age.

    yeah, i’m so over it when people just roll over and play dead. you’re on Survivor, assholes! Put up a fight! The season Rob won – on what? his 4th attempt at Survivor? – made me ill. There really is nothing entertaining about watching a dictator w/a bunch of lame-ass followers win the whole thing. Jeff Probst, Mr. Executive Producer, are you listening? Let’s email him

  26. 26
    notnerb
    Posted May 20, 2012 at 2:11 am

    I was just shocked by how small the audience at the finale was… the last time I watched a finale there was a HUGE crowd and video links to each of the contestants home towns where there were crowds of supporters there. I would be generous to estimate that there were more than 150 people here this time

  27. 27
    pretty good year
    Posted May 21, 2012 at 4:44 am

    I mean, they’ve been hosting the finale/reunion in David Letterman’s studio for years now. I think the last time they had a larger crowed was Season 4, when they hosted it in Central Park in New York. As for the video links to hometowns, they stopped that a few seasons ago, but I bet that had more to do with budget cuts. I mean, why send a crew out to show a live video link of some people cheering in another town for three seconds?

  28. 28
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted May 21, 2012 at 10:36 am

    Thanks for all the recaps Pottymouth.

    BTW: I know you want her to be hit by a bolt of lightning (the same bolt that hits Colton) BUT I thought Alicia looked real pretty after she cleaned up and took a bath.

  29. 29
    wow
    Posted May 21, 2012 at 2:43 pm

    Kat is the closest I’ve ever seen to a real life embodiment of Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield from Sweet Valley High (from the drawn covers of course). If she has any acting talent, she should play them in the movie they are about to make.

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