Survivor Recap: One Flew Over, Under, Through, Around and Into the Cuckoo’s Nest

Survivor

By PottyMouth | Sunday, March 17, 2013 | 3:27 pm | 39 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Survivor

Ugh, this episode.  I thought with Shamu gone we might have some peace and finally get down to people really playing the game.  What a dope I am.  Sure, there were the hints in the previews, but surely they’d end up turning out to be a big pile of nothing (like they so often are), right?  WRONG!

Are you sad now that I’m gone?

NOPE.

But we’ve got the WHOLE episode to discuss before we arrive in Crazytown, so let’s go back to the beginning of this episode and unravel it all as we go…..

Gota gathers around their fire and talks about the choice to vote out Laura.  The guys all agree it was the right thing to do and it’s totally gonna be a turning point for them, but Sherri is not happy about it.  She didn’t want to write Laura’s name down, but she knew the whole tribe was going to vote for her no matter what.  So she went with the flow.  But she’s no dummy, she knows with Laura gone that she’ll now wear the “weakest player” sash.

The wheels in her brain go round and round, round and round, round and round

ReynoldsWrap is as douchey as ever, telling his tribe that he’s glad he got to tell them all exactly what he’s thinking and plus he’s SUPER glad he got to play the immunity idol since it was causing such division in the tribe.

If only I could have played the idol for someone else THAT would have truly brought me the joy I’ve been seeking.  Hey, why does my nose keep growing?

I TOTALLY believe him, don’t you?  Of course he still doesn’t trust them because for tribal one and tribal two he went in with all these hopes and dreams and aspirations, but they squashed those by lying to him.  He says he decided HOURS before this tribal that he was gonna use it and also let everything know what he thinks while at it, and that’s exactly what he did.

Now I can go back to being the cool kid I know myself to be

He is so full of himself I wish I could puke on him. 

ReynoldsWrap tells his tribe that all he wants is move forward.  He hopes they don’t think he was taking pot shots at them and their alliance any more than they did it to him and his alliance.  It’s a game; he wants them to move forward.  Together.

So stop trying to vote me out, mmmkay?

HairSchlong points out to those of us that can’t count, that there’s five of them versus Eddie and ReynoldsWrap.  He knows that ReynoldsWrap both had to play the idol and has to play nice now.  He is just happy the idol is back in play.  Now it’s back out there waiting for someone to find it. 

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PottyMouth

When she isn't screaming curses at various dance show judges or washing her OWN mouth out with soap, PottyMouth is a proud mama to a gorgeous little boy. And yes, she knows everyone says that about their kids, but it's true when she says it. YES IT IS. Fuck you. She also laments throwing away the chance to be a trophy wife, and would like to find a rich husband so she can sit on her ass all day long and watch TV. If you are fabulously wealthy, look like Hugh Jackman (or ARE in fact Hugh Jackman), and are turned on by foul-mouthed, mature, slightly smooshy women, then she just may be the gal for you. Please send picture, references and your latest bank statement for review.

39 Comments

  1. 1
    carol
    Posted March 17, 2013 at 4:50 pm

    I love when Jeff called out ShamooLover’s (aka Sherri) useless-ness during the challenge. I know it is Jeff’s way of trying to plant ideas in the players heads, but it always seems like somehow he can hear the viewers thoughts.

    I was actually impressed with Phillip during Hantzy’s meltdown at camp. He just walked away and stayed away. I am guessing the producers pulled him away because they were scared Hantzy would actually get physical.

    As soon as Jeff called Hantzy over, I knew he was gone. At first I thought Jeff was going to kick him off, which I am still questioning weather they did or not. Then Hantzy had another mini meltdown and to make for better tv they staged the voting. Jeff never pulls anyone in front to talk, never. So either he was going to be kicked off, or the producers were actually afraid Hantzy would get violent. Either way, they knew going into this ‘challenge’ that Hantzy was leaving and wanted to milk all the tv time from Hantzy at they could. If I was on that tribe, after the whole meltdown at camp, I would have refused to go back to camp until Hantzy was removed. He was getting scary dangerous. I am glad they hid the knife.

    I know Hantzy is under contract to appear at the reunion, but I really wouldn’t be surprised if he does show. Maybe I am just wishing he doesn’t.

  2. 2
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted March 17, 2013 at 4:57 pm

    I will say again, I am sick of the Not-So-Hidden Immunity Idols. Come on. Players shouldn’t be able to find them that easily…and why is it always the player viewers hate who finds it? Producer manipulation.

    This show has lost its appeal.

  3. 3
    Robin Robin
    Posted March 17, 2013 at 5:59 pm

    I wonder how the hell any of them got past the psych test.

    They are all crying, cuddling, whining, laying in a fetal position, acting scared of their own shadow, and the worst thing of all..promised to eat a rock and didn’t.

    The only person that I see that only relies on himself, even if that means making folks like him, is Cochran.

    Just replying to the posts. Heading to PottyMouth’s recap. Looking forward to it.

  4. 4
    Boba Fett
    Posted March 17, 2013 at 6:12 pm

    I actually loved Hantzy’s meltdown and probably would have flipped out on Phillip too. I think I need to check myself into a hospital.

  5. 5
    FuriousFlipper
    Posted March 17, 2013 at 6:39 pm

    Anyone watch Jeff’s talk show? It’s set up so self-consciously with the whole “How we came to this storyline’ shite and well, I feel as if I have got to know a lot more (and not sure I wanted to) about the inner tickings of the Probst through a few watchings of the show – and well, he has to man up…he obviously has sold his soul to the LCD of drama and what passes for entertainment in the name of ratings and loves major meltdowns. Whereas once he was about grit and stubborn determination and all that. Jeff – get your soul back. And if you’re going to do a talk show – man up and stop apologizing for it. Rant over.

  6. 6
    Robin Robin
    Posted March 17, 2013 at 6:41 pm

    RE; Bad feet. It is their own fault. You don’t keep your feet in wet shoes all the time. They should stay out of wet shoes and walk barefoot. Air those doggies out.

  7. 7
    Robin Robin
    Posted March 17, 2013 at 7:26 pm

    Dear Potty,

    Helluva Recap. Thank You.

    No need to appologise for the rant! I have been ranting since Thurs! This has been my favorite show for such a long time and now..I just don’t know.

    You asked if we were concerned about Hantz … perhaps a potential danger to his tribe.

    If Rob or Sandra-Pavarti-Ethan- Ozzy-Tom or even Richard Hatch was there.. I would say Hell No!

    It seems they stacked the deck with a bunch of wussies this season. Not sure what the reason was. But it is interesting to note.

    Thanks again for the recap!

  8. 8
    Daniel
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 6:24 am

    This was beyond ridiculous.

    I haven’t seen many of the older seasons, so I’m currently watching the third one (Africa) and I can’t believe what I’m seeing. The contestants are wasting away from lack of food, their camp is being circled by lions, their only source of water is a filthy cesspool–in short, they’re SURVIVING. So that’s where the name of the show comes from!

    I also noticed they’re all normal people, without ‘interesting stories’ or past youtube videos or whatnot. What was wrong with that? Why did anyone think that needed to change?

    Also, instead of an inevitable third stint on survivor, street fighter Philip should go on The Ultimate Fighter. I would happily watch his antics on that show, knowing they would end with him in a cage fight.

  9. 9
    PinkTop
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 6:27 am

    Can Philip please go next?

  10. 10
    JimmyT JimmyT
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 6:56 am

    Thanks for the Flash Gordon reference PM! I always think of that when I see people in this show look for the idols.

    I’m on the camp of this having been far from good TV. MiniHantz clearly has some serious problems and needs to go to a padded cell. I’m not sure if any of you watch Criminal Minds, but if you do, check out an episode from last season called “A Family Affair”. The killers for the week are a family and the son looks a lot/acts like MiniH

    http://www.argenteam.net/resources/images/1118b1543f5d6968d875c9c3af906da0.jpg

    …not to mention he has a predilection killing Jezebels. I saw it right after his last Survivor season ended, and it felt like the writers of Criminal Minds had been watching Survivor.

  11. 11
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 6:59 am

    The third season also had reward challenges where people who didn’t like each other had to work in teams…and then share the reward. Seasons one through three were the best…and then the producers started tampering with things. But even then, the contestants still had to work.

    Remember when there were multiple clues for finding a HII…and it actually took work? And when the contestant had to choose between comfort and a clue. And sometimes (gasp) the idol wasn’t found! Now they basically look under the first rock next to camp and there it is. HATE IT.

  12. 12
    JimmyT JimmyT
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 7:08 am

    I could only find a clip in Italian, but it should give you an idea of what I mean. Heck, you can even make up your own dialogue about how he is not appreciated as much as Phillip instead.

  13. 13
    Tiger
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 7:28 am

    Little Hantz was just trying to carry on the family name, intent on outdoing his brethren, Willie and Russell.

  14. 14
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 8:38 am

    Pottymouth you cannot hide your love for Brandon. It’s clear you want to press your lips up to and kiss every one of his tattoos.

    1) I don’t find Brandon scary at all. I could take him in a streetfight. I wish Jeff would have let Brandon and Philip fight. That would have been really cool to watch.
    2) I don’t like Philip but it seemed unfair that Brandon got to rag on him for 10 minutes non-stop in front of the other tribe. The whole thing was turning into The Brandon Hantz Show.
    3) Reynold looked more handsome when he was surrounded by the beautiful people. The rain has made him look less attractive.

  15. 15
    BellicoseBaby
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 8:47 am

    I think throwing an immunity challenge to evict someone from the island is worthwhile when you are too scared to sleep when they are around.

  16. 16
    Deguy123
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 8:52 am

    Eddie needs to have a bag over his head….thn id look at him. Its amazing how he thinks he is so goodlooking and he is NOT! I mean yeah Ive give him that he has a nice body but thats it…plus he is an airhead!

  17. 17
    itchy itchy
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 9:22 am

    So was this season taped BEFORE Probst’s talk show got cancelled, right? That would explain the whole Maury Povich thing.

    I’m sure we could trace back Survivor’s decline from the moment when Probst stopped being just the host and began taking a more active role in the show’s production. Remember the first season, when he wasn’t even allowed to host the finale? At this point, he’s producer, showrunner, host and probably chief designer of the challenges as well. No wonder this show sucks. This guy thinks he’s Oprah, for crying out loud!

    As terrible as this episode was, it’s at least not as maddening as watching these contestants fumble their way through this season. Can’t believe Probst thinks this is a great season — are the ratings still down?

    I would have like to see Hantz attack Phillip too — but only because I have no doubt Phillip would have subdued him easily (and probably without even needing to hurt him).

    I started watching this season with my kids. But I haven’t let them watch the last couple of episodes. Maybe I’ll watch one of the early seasons with them instead.

  18. 18
    itchy itchy
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 9:32 am

    There’s a petition asking CBS to keep the Hantz family off the show:

    https://www.change.org/petitions/cbs-do-not-allow-brandon-or-russell-hantz-back-on-survivor-ever#share

  19. 19
    considerthis
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 10:11 am

    If any of you gasmii can provide 1 plausible reason why Reynolds Wrap would tell Eddie Munster he found the second (not so) hidden immunity idol AGAIN – I would love to hear it.

    Also it is told that the Fan tribe is starving so it makes complete sense to abandon for 6 hours looking for food, getting water, gathering wood in hopes of finding the Hidden Immunity Idol. Of course, Kraft Services is located 3rd palm tree from the left.

  20. 20
    msjacqmills
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 10:38 am

    I so agree – the hidden immunity idol sucks. I’ve always hated it, and now they make it so obvious that they basically hand it to the player the producers want to keep around. I wish it would go away forever.

    I know I may be on my own here, but I was LOVING Brandon this epoisode. Well, just when he was letting Phillip have it at camp. He was telling him all the stuff I yell at the tv about him and his stupid stealth crap. And, when he told Brandon not to bite the hand that feeds him – that would have really pissed me off. I would have rather Phillip left and Brandon stayed. But, I do get that the kid is ustable and quite scary. Although, I think it’s all an act to live up to the idiotic Hantz name. Ugh!

  21. 21
    itchy itchy
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 10:49 am

    I agree, the only point I found myself enjoying the episode was when Brandon was letting Philip have it for his idiocy — except, of course, Philip knows this is the only reason he was let back onto the show.

    So what I really enjoyed was Philip’s look, like he was saying: “Dude, didn’t you read the script? This is what I supposed to do.”

  22. 22
    JELLIEPAIR
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 11:02 am

    The crazy eyes that lil hantz was making throughout this episode was particularly creepy. I do not understand why they let him rant to the other tribe – and why they didnt pull him or get the medical team to evaluate. They do it every time someone has a splinter and its not even life threatening…i know he only dumped out their food but he was on the edge and I wouldnt have slept at that camp until he was gone…he is a crazy whiny little fool and even though I am no fan of phillip, he basically DID win the challenge. That kid needs help and I am grateful he is off my tv

  23. 23
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 11:43 am

    I don’t think they can pull someone from the game for something that’s not a physical threat. If they could pull Brandon from the game for not being able to handle the stress, they could have pulled anyone who couldn’t handle the weather, the challenges, etc. I actually didn’t find him to be particularly unstable; Brandon was kind of a spoil sport who aligned poorly from the start and chose not to recover from that. I liked Brandon’s rant, as I mentioned in the mini-cap, but it sucks for his leftover alliance partners (Brenda & Erik). Hopefully, this week’s supposed tribal swap will kick the actual strategic part of this season into high gear and put B&E in a better position than being the first Favorites picked off now that Francesca and Brandon are gone.

  24. 24
    juddfan
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 1:09 pm

    Hey all . . .I found this exhausting, it just drains me to see someone so out of control of their emotions, and especially, when all they keep saying is shut up and bitch.

    That said, here is a link to Brandon’s Utube channel . . . I feel like it explains much about their family. Am I the only one who finds it odd they take their shirts off and grind each other on the couch . . .

  25. 25
    Clair Clair
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 1:25 pm

    Thanks Judd. I got to about 1:24 in the video (interesting expression on Russell’s face as Brandon lies on top of him) and had to quit.

  26. 26
    PinkTop
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 1:32 pm

    ditto. I had to exit at the shirtless couch wrestling as well.

  27. 27
    JimmyT JimmyT
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 1:40 pm

    Ugh…You know, Judd, after seeing that video I’m starting to think that there are no female Hantzs. They probably just divide or clone themselves in the middle of those slap and tickle fights, sort of like amoebas and viruses…or like Gremlins when exposed when they get wet, especially if it is Dixie beer.

  28. 28
    itchy itchy
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 2:28 pm

    Didn’t I read somewhere that Lil Hantz’s wife walked out on him?

  29. 29
    juddfan
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 4:43 pm

    I’m glad you all could see what I meant. I don’t know about his wife. I think if scientists really want to know where the neanderthal gene went, they should take them in for testing . . . I’m just sayin’

  30. 30
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 9:11 pm

    Hantzy Pantz’s pity party of bemoaning the fact he left his wife and kids behind to do the show was a repeat of his first season. He’s got the emotional stability of a Rumpelstiltskin on steroids. Although what he said to Philip was the truth, he didn’t have to take it out on his entire tribe. He should have had his little tantrum on Philip’s pink manties and cut them into shreds or something constructive like that.

  31. 31
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 9:16 pm

    I just watched the Hantz video. They should bottle that and sell it as a magic diet, ’cause I just totally lost my appetite.

  32. 32
    Mike Hunt
    Posted March 19, 2013 at 3:51 am

    I must say right off the bat that PottyMouth has went way above and beyond the call of duty with this recap. To take a complete and totally childish episode as it was. Then to make it as entertaining as you have done here. It just shows how professional you really are!!! Thank you very much.

    The only thing that made me like Brantz the Bratty Bratt Boy this season above the other season he was in. Was that he wasn’t such a cry baby, religious freak. So just about the time I start to like the little freak he has got to go and get himself all homesick. That in my mind is what the whole thing was about. Everything else was just a lame assed excuse of not being able to man-up and endure the time he had left on this season. All I really seen was a spoiled assed little brat that needed a good ass wuppin. So what do you do if your Brandon Hantz??? You go after the other goofy fucker to take it out on and hope like hell you don’t get your ass kicked by doing it. He wasn’t in some crazed person rage like he should have been. Nope!!! He went after just one, and in my mind he was damned lucky Phillip didn’t get a hold of his ass because he had no idea what he was in for. So in turn there is this 3rd grade shouting match about who’s dad could beat up the other ones. Untill time is up and we bow out gracefully by voting Bratt Boy the hell off. With both really looking stupid and childish. Making us the viewer miss out on the next Carnival game. (Oh Boy)

    At first I will say that it was kind of funny. Saying what he said about Agent Pink Manties was funny and very true. As for the dumping out of the food, he wouldn’t have made it half way through the rice if I would have been there. I would have body slammed his ass to the ground and made sure that he was going to take his little tantrum else where and left the rest of the food alone!!! Just watching him do it on TV had me fuming. I could not believe that nobody had balls enough to stand up to his ass!!! What in the hell is the matter with people anymore??? Are they afraid they might get a little hurt??? I don’t know exactly what they will do with the food issue but I’m sure that had a lot to do with the up coming mix up of the tribes. Because if things were going to stay the same. Them Favorites bellies were going to hurt way worse then anything Homesick Lil’ Bratt Boy could have hit them with!!!!!

  33. 33
    Philo
    Posted March 19, 2013 at 6:37 am

    Wasn’t it Phillip in his season that would not share his team’s rice with the other team post-merge (and then went on to accuse the guy on the other team of racism)? Let’s see if karma comes to bite him in the ass during this tribe mix-up, and he can eat his sand and rice mix…

    This Brantz tirade was nothing more than an orchestrated publicity stunt. CBS please quit polluting the airwaves with these freaks!

  34. 34
    Mike Hunt
    Posted March 19, 2013 at 3:31 pm

    Aunt Dorsey, you have to keep Uncle rolling on the floor!!!

  35. 35
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted March 19, 2013 at 4:43 pm

    Okay, I just donated a ton of brain cells I’ll never get back watching the Survivor After Show with Poverty Shallow. She had on Scabby Maria and they both admire Philip’s Pink Manties and want to join his Stealth ‘R’ Us club, so as part of their mutual admiration society, they gave each other secret club names. Poverty named Scabby *Hot Pockets* and Scabby named Poverty *Foxy Seductress*. Great minds and all that…..

    They had ShaMOOoooo on so Scabby could give him a heaping pile of shit about his ‘life-threatening’ injury–a splinter in his finger. He almost died you know. To make my day complete, I followed that by a chaser of that insufferable sphincter muscle Benjamin ‘Coach’ Wade who pontificated about his stint on the island with Hantzy Pantz. He is truly god’s gift to mankind. I bow before that delusional blob of Brill Cream. He thinks Pink Manties is in it to win it.

    There, I did it all for you…..now I need a very stiff bourbon.

  36. 36
    juddfan
    Posted March 19, 2013 at 4:53 pm

    @Mr. D . . . you, my friend, are the one person on here that will enjoy the link in the comments . . . trust your old friend Judd!

    @Aunt Dorsey, I must nominate your above comment, such gifted descriptions!!!

  37. 37
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted March 20, 2013 at 6:58 am

    Here’s the difference between the Original Survivor and the watered-down version we have now.

    This season when the rats ran through the shelter, the contestants screamed like girls during a 1950s panty raid. In the first few seasons, the contestants would have caught the rats and made dinner. But who needs a rat when you know there’s plenty of food to be had?

  38. 38
    Mike Hunt
    Posted March 20, 2013 at 9:21 pm

    @ Aunt Dorsey Although I certainly appreciate your perseverance to the cause. It does make you somewhat of a glutton for punishment!!! I hope that a stiff Bourbon will be enough to settle that which cannot be unwatched. If not, I recommend another stiff one. If unsettling persists, then drinking straight from the bottle until you have either passed out or died from alcohol poisoning. Which ever comes first!!! Good luck on any endeavor you choose…..

  39. 39
    Mike Hunt
    Posted March 20, 2013 at 9:30 pm

    I can’t believe that after all that shakin’, rattlin’ and a rollin’ that Agent Pink Manties is still there????? What in the hell is the matter with these people????

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