Welcome to season 25, Gasmi! It feels like only yesterday we were watching Abitchia be, well, a bitch and contemplating (or trying not to) Tarzan’s poopypant cooking skills. What insanity will this new season of Survivorbring?
I will make Jeff gargle with hot sauce while running through Skupin’s poop and kissing me!
You know, sometimes there are things I am better off not knowing. I would much rather think of Lisa as an older poorer Blair Warner than some cuckoo hyper controlling parent preaching the power of instant control over one’s children. What would Mrs. Garrett say?
My dad used to put hot sauce in our mouths as punishment growing up. He didn’t do any of the other crap that Lisa does, but hot sauce was a regular in our household for lying, having a smart mouth, and for getting caught laughing at your sister getting punished. I will say that it did indeed SUCK but became a much less effective tool of punishment when the punishees developed a taste for the stuff. And my dad still has two smart mouthed sassy daughters so I’m not sure the whole thing worked out the way he expected it to!
We could probably spend an insane amount of time talking about this and other fucked up things parents do to their kids in the name of making them “better people”. I’m gonna stop here because we’ve got an hour and half show to get through and a helluva lot of other crap to talk about!
Like the hotness of this guy
And Derek….I refuse to start gay rumors because I want him for my team too. How about agreeing to start “Malcolm is bi rumors?” Agreed?
So we start out the season with everyone (well almost everyone) onboard a boat, heading for the island where they will spend the next 39 days. They’ve already been divided into three tribes of five which means it’s gonna be tough to form a five person alliance from the start. THANK YOU!! I’m really sick of seeing that and hopefully we’ll see some switch ups in how people play the game this time around.
We’ve gotta hear from famous people first I guess, so we meet Jeff Kent who used to be a big shot baseball player. As I mentioned in the minicap, I don’t watch baseball so I have no idea who the guy is nor do I care. I think the only baseball player I would ever recognize is Derek Jeter and that’s because my sister has the hots for him and he dated Mariah Carey.
Anyway, Mr. Baseball is super concerned about keeping his identity a secret because ball players make boocoo bucks and no one will want to give him a million dollars when he possibly has a matching thirty at home.
It’s hard to be me