After a quick meet and greet and a heads up from Jeff that there will be hidden immunity idols this season (BOOOO), it’s time to get the fuck off the boat and get this bitch started. Jeff tells them that they have 60 seconds to grab whatever they can from this boat and get it to their rafts. “Before what happens?” sasses Penner to Probst.
Where’s that hot sauce when I need it?
Don’t worry Jeff; didn’t Blair pack it as her luxury item? (sorry, I can’t help myself!)
Time is up and everyone jumps onto their rafts to make their way to their beaches. Mr. Baseball has already fucked up his knee, chickens are being thrown around, and somewhere far away a shark swims around wishing he was closer because hunger doesn’t just happen to kids in India.
Brother, can ya spare a knee cap?
Let’s talk about what’s going on over at Matsing’s beach. Russell tells us that there is always “some idiot” that tries to talk over everyone and be the leader. He thinks that person is a dummy. What he’s really telling us is that HE is a dummy because he immediately hikes up his bossypants and starts telling everyone what to do.
I’m not the boss but if you don’t all do what I say you are fired!
As Russell gives lessons on how to do everything, Malcolm and Angie talk about what a bossypants he is and how they’ll just let him do that for now. Sounds like other people have the same philosophy as you Russell!! Malcolm actually has some survival skills of his own having lived in Micronesia for a year.
And so my season 25 crush begins…..
I’m not even going to pretend that I don’t find him to be ADORABLE, so apologies in advance because you are going to have to listen to me talk about how cute he is for the rest of the season. Deal with it.
What I like about the guy is that he’s very matter of fact about the whole thing and even tells us he wasn’t roughing it anything like this, but there are a few things he’s learned how to do that will come in handy. What he also knows (methinks from his bartending experience) is how to read people. He knows that Russell would LOVE to be the one to make fire so he coaches him through it, letting him take the credit for it once the fire is started.
I’d like to say that’s why I picked Malcolm for my MVP, but it’s purely because I’m shallow and he’s cute. Whatever the reason, I’m thinking it might work out well for me!